Page 24 | To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

Original poster

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:50

MorrisZapp · 19/04/2025 14:39

Oh god are you that 'feminine energy' weirdo off tiktok?

No, just a woman with standards who knows how to articulate them - sorry if that’s unsettling. But feel free to keep scrolling if nuance and self-respect feel too “TikTok” for you.

OP posts:

Miaowzabella · 19/04/2025 14:49

ZoggyStirdust · 19/04/2025 14:46

Masculine provider energy 😂😂

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Is that a new electricity supply firm? Do they have any good introductory tariffs? I assume they don't require a smart meter.

RunningJo · 19/04/2025 14:48

“Some of us value traditional masculine provision “

What in the name of 1950’s is this even supposed to mean ?!

Original poster

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:48

Charlize43 · 19/04/2025 14:35

Is this a reverse? Are you a cocklodger?

Only if emotional intelligence, loyalty, and peace count as rent.

OP posts:

Dontcallmescarface · 19/04/2025 14:47

Me and DP both work full-time, share all housework, don't have kids, he deals with his own "life admin", sorts out his own gifts to his family, we each have our own bank accounts (although we do have a joint one where we both pay an equal amount to cover household costs). So yes, everything is a 50-50 split, in fact I wouldn't expect anything more from him, why would I?

Original poster

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:47

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 19/04/2025 14:35

It doesn't sound unfamiliar. On the contrary, it sounds depressingly old-fashioned and familiar. Are you really trying to dress up this patriarchal bullshit as some new idea?!

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I’m not dressing up anything - I’m simply describing a dynamic that many women actively choose because it aligns with how they want to show up in relationships. The difference is that this isn’t about control or blind submission - it’s about conscious polarity, mutual respect, and shared intention.

Just because something echoes older values doesn’t make it oppressive, especially when it’s chosen freely, not enforced. Autonomy includes the right to want structure, leadership and provision even if it doesn’t fit someone else’s idea of progress.

OP posts:

Miaowzabella · 19/04/2025 14:46

Does your husband know you are playing on his computer?

ZoggyStirdust · 19/04/2025 14:46

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 13:57

Because I believe in masculine provider energy and I’m not looking to split hairs or bills. If I’m showing up emotionally, practically, and often doing more of the invisible labour that keeps a household running, I don’t think it’s wild to expect financial leadership in return. It’s about alignment. Some of us just don’t want a 50/50 roommate dynamic in our relationships.

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Masculine provider energy 😂😂

PowderMonkeys · 19/04/2025 14:46

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:24

It’s always interesting how quickly a woman expressing a preference for masculine leadership gets reduced to a “pwincess” fantasy. What I described isn’t about helplessness - it’s about polarity, contribution, and mutual respect. But if it makes you feel better to mock it, go ahead. Still doesn’t make it any less valid.

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It makes it completely invalid, because it’s based on a false ‘polarity’, based on your entrenched gender stereotypes.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 19/04/2025 14:45

I just, like, lowkey think that, like, the vibe is off here… Women can earn more than men and still be in a happy and healthy relationship. They can have more assets than men and be in their “feminine energy”… or whatever you want to call it. It’s shocking, but you can actually support, honour and show appreciation to loved ones in ways other than showering them with money/funding them. Sure, do whatever makes you happy, that’s one thing - but when it comes to the very blanket statement “AIBU to think you should NEVER live with a man unless he pays for everything?”… yes. Yes, you are.

Mercurial123 · 19/04/2025 14:45

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 13:57

Because I believe in masculine provider energy and I’m not looking to split hairs or bills. If I’m showing up emotionally, practically, and often doing more of the invisible labour that keeps a household running, I don’t think it’s wild to expect financial leadership in return. It’s about alignment. Some of us just don’t want a 50/50 roommate dynamic in our relationships.

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You want to be a trad wife?!

BigHeadBertha · 19/04/2025 14:45

In that case, you need to be quiet and get back in kitchen, little lady. eye roll

intrepidpanda · 19/04/2025 14:45

Just curious @ThisSereneSnail.
if you have daughters, are you raising them to be mums or are you encouraging a career?
If you have sons, are you teaching them any housekeeping skills?

SeriaMau · 19/04/2025 14:45

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:26

I’m aware and I’m okay with that. Not everything needs to be posted for agreement. Sometimes it’s just about saying the thing out loud that others are thinking but won’t say. I knew it would be unpopular, that doesn’t make it untrue.

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Well, I think if literally everyone disagrees with you on something based on opinion rather than solid fact, I think it does make it ‘untrue’ or ‘wrong’. At least in our society.

GCAcademic · 19/04/2025 14:44

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/04/2025 14:41

Bet it was a man that made this crap up.

It does give off a bit of a red pill vibe.

GCAcademic · 19/04/2025 14:43

NineLivesKat · 19/04/2025 14:40

‘Financial leadership? WTAF?

Every man could be Chief Financial Officer of his own household, if only his wife let him!

Outofthepan · 19/04/2025 14:43

Is this Lauren off of MAFS AUS?

Original poster

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:43

Pleasegodgotosleep · 19/04/2025 14:34

Why should one person be fully holding it down? And why the man? Why wouldn't you be a team?

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I do believe in being a team, just not a team where both people are playing the exact same position. For me, a relationship works best when we each bring different strengths. I show up emotionally, practically, and often take the lead in nurturing the relationship and home. I value a man who leads financially and brings stability. That’s how I feel supported and how I’m best able to pour into the relationship. It’s not about one person holding it down entirely - it’s about not both holding half while both feeling like we’re carrying more than that.

OP posts:

Isometimeswonder · 19/04/2025 14:42

The 1950s are calling, they want the housewife back

x2boys · 19/04/2025 14:42

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:36

No, I’m not a “rinser” and I don’t think expecting masculine provision in a relationship means expecting luxury dinners and Cartier bracelets. What I said was about share values and polarity: if I’m contributing emotionally, practically and often carrying the invisible load that keeps things running, I want to feel secure and supported in return and yes, that includes financial leadership.

It’s nothing to do with rinsing - it’s about choosing a dynamic that works for both people. Some of us just don’t want a partner that feels like a flatmate with benefits. That doesn’t make us entitled - it makes us clear.

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Do you actually.have a partner that happily goes along with your fantasy, aka being a complete mug or is it all just wishful thinking ?

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/04/2025 14:41

Bet it was a man that made this crap up.

SeriaMau · 19/04/2025 14:41

ThisSereneSnail · 19/04/2025 14:00

Because “fair” doesn’t always mean “equal in numbers.” In many relationships, women are already contributing more in emotional labour, home management, caregiving, and keeping the relationship connected. If the man is also paying exactly half - who’s really carrying more weight?

I’m not against balance. I just don’t believe identical roles = healthy dynamics. Some of us value traditional masculine provision - not out of weakness but because we bring a different kind of strength.

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I do most of the cooking, most of the driving, most holiday organisation, most of the tidying. My partner does most of the laundry, most of the mowing, most of the cleaning, most of the shopping. So who should pay the majority of the bills? I am genuinely intrigued.

Bert2025 · 19/04/2025 14:40

This reads as if a particularly partisan AI has generated it.

NineLivesKat · 19/04/2025 14:40

‘Financial leadership? WTAF?

GCAcademic · 19/04/2025 14:39

What an utter waste of women's potential that would be.

Sad that you have such limited expectations for yourself.