To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

Have you thought of living in the Middle East?

You might have a better chance of finding your financial arrangement love out there.

Talking about Masculine energy is super big at the moment in the states on some of the most sexist and outrageous podcast’s of men who think women are just for making babies, cooking and cleaning If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know I don’t think MN will be much help. And also the birth rate is dropping in many countries so that speaks volumes in itself in my opinion.

I'm not sure I follow what " emotional labour " involves but I know I'm very lacking in
tact and empathy and there's no way in hell I'd want to be in charge of the emotional labour in my marriage. Not up my street at all. My husband is probably doing this job..

Well don’t do the majority of the housework, childcare and life admin - I never have as I’m in a positive relationship with respect and support.

No, she's apparently had partners who met her standards, but they seem not to have stuck around.

Masculine financial leadership????

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That is not a lesson I’m teaching my DD.

This approach leads to women who are suffering from DA being stuck. It’s the most dangerous approach to have. Earn to your best ability, be as financially independent as possible. Men need to be 50:50 with all the other bits.

Agreed. If not exactly the darkest, we're certainly living in the stupidest timeline at the moment.

lead and love with purpose 🙄

Sounds like some of that influencer shit.

You are with the wrong man if you have to do twice the emotional work.
It basically sounds like you either only know, or have only ever met absolute dick heads.
Or you are a 15 year old boy who has watched too much spcial media.
Adults don't need to live in energys and auras.

What happens if the woman earns more than the man - you still want him paying the majority of the bills?

To be fair on OP. Many women here screaming we are equal but many threads on MN give a different story.
Too often women pay half the bills, but do 70% housework, 90% childcare and 100% life admin
So with OP at least she has her role and he has his. Possibly more equally split than most here

It gets mocked because it’s ridiculous.

I think your thought process stems from a very low opinion of men op. And I am normally not one to jump to men’s defence. You don’t seem to think them capable of many things women do. And that working for money is the ONLY thing they’re capable of. The only thing that points to is that you’ve never met a good man.

I'm not into Gilead.

@ThisSereneSnail - are there children involved in your thinking, OP? I completely get why someone might be an SAHP.

But if not, I don’t particularly see why someone else should financially support you and provide you with a home just because you provide them with emotional support. Money to live on is not a nice to have; it’s essential.

DH and I both work outside the home. We both contribute to the household finances, running the home and raising our family. I hugely value my financial independence.

Your thinking seems pretty childish to me. Frankly, the vast majority of women can provide emotional support. We’re pretty good at that. Most of us don’t think it’s a substitute for earning our own living and being financially independent. You’re not offering anything particularly special as far as I can see, and that makes you very vulnerable.

It just seems to me, OP, that you have only met inept and inadequate men and I feel sorry for you if you are in a relationship with one. Or are you saying that all of us who are in relationships with men who (amazingly) can not only remember them but remind us of birthdays coming up, are tuned in to whether we are happy or not, listen to our problems, in other words pull their weight emotionally, just haven't met a Real Man yet?

We’re no longer in the 1950’s (thank goodness) - we now have equality. When DH and I moved in together we adopted the approach of paying in relation to our income with the same personal money - because we are a couple. We’ve followed the same approach very happily for 30 years.

I think when must say 50/50 they mean all the money in one pot.

i would assume she’s single! 😂

Why didn't they stay with you then?

Don't really agree with OP, but it does surprise me how many apparently committed, serious relationships on mumsnet - even marriages - are splitting things 50/50. And it seems those men continue to want to split things 50/50 whilst their wife is on maternity with their new baby. Etc. It's not very "we're a team" like.

Me and my partner don't split things 50/50 anymore. We don't keep tabs like that, neither of us cared to. He pays for stuff, I pay for stuff.

We initially did a split when we were first together, but neither of us wanted to be tit for tat or cared about 50/50 or keeping track.

He's ended up taking on the bulk of the bills because he gets paid more and so he just did. It just happened. I did ask him if he's happy doing that, he is. We discuss finances, but it's always just "our money" now.

What about same sex relationships? Does your batshit theory extent to that?