To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

Ha, very true 😂

Yes we have spoken about it, but I really don't like the idea of staff. I couldn't relax with someone in my house, cleaning my personal things, it feels invasive and I don't think I'd like the dynamic of 'come and clean my stuff while I swan off to brunch.'

Half the battle is having good products and gadgets.

We have a quick ride on mower. The showers get cleaned once a week with bleach and the limescale remover is called Viakal. I leave it on for and hour and wash off. The glass cleaner I use is Koboclear by Vorwerk. It's a paste on buff off product that leaves no smears, it makes window/mirror cleaning easy.

I have extendable brushes on poles to get cobwebs off the ceiling beams. I use a cordless Dyson hoover and floor cleaner.

I don’t want to put my sandwich in the dishwasher! That’s taking cleaning a little too far! 😁

Three bowls in the sink isn't "messy".

After dinner the kitchen is wiped down and everything tidied away. So three bowls in the sink is because people live there, it's not messy.

It is exactly as tidy when I return home from work as it was when I left for the office. It only gets messy once we start cooking and eating, which only happens when we're in the house.

'If we're all out of the house...how is my kitchen getting messy?' It's not getting messy, it's just staying messy.

You answered your own question. 'So when I got home from the office at 5, there was three bowls and three cups that needed washing up.'

Making a sandwich for yourself during the day and immediately putting it in the dishwasher isn't making a mess. Many people come home to the remains of breakfast etc because they don't have time to wash it up in the morning, so my point is, with me being here the house stays cleaner and tidier. The same with dinner, I have already prepared it and cleaned up as I have gone along so there is no pile of shit waiting to be cleared after we have eaten, aside from the plates and cutlery of course.

'neither of us would want to waste so much time cleaning it.' I don't see it as a waste of time, being in a nice environment is good for everyone.

I'd definitely need a cleaner if I were working.

@MerlinsBeard1 I know I'm late to the party, we may be straying a tad from the original question and this is none of my concern at all but....... do you never consider getting a cleaner ? Sounds like quite a labour of love keeping your place clean. Although I reckon you could probably give us scruffy Herbert's a few good tips on efficient cleaning methods.

Can I ask how you keep the lawn mowed ? Do you have one of those robot doo-dahs ? And how often do you clean your showers please? In fact what products do you use against limescale ? Merci 🙏

Ey?

If we're all out of the house...how is my kitchen getting messy?

Today was an office day for me. Which means at 7am DH left, having only eaten his breakfast. At 730am DD and I left, having only eaten our breakfasts. So when I got home from the office at 5, there was three bowls and three cups that needed washing up, and they were in the sink so the kitchen looked pretty tidy.

If I'd got home and the kitchen was messy, I'd be wondering who had broken in.

Tomorrow I'll WFH so it won't be too messy but there's going to be a few more pots. And Friday I'm off and DD is off and we have visitors coming so there'll be loads going on in there. It'll definitely be messier with people in the house.

Messy kitchens can be caused by cooking that requires lots of pots and pans (talking to you Gousto and Hello Fresh).

If you don’t think they're caused when you're at home then when are they caused?

We don't have very high standards but I think because we both work full time, we have to use the free time that we do have efficiently. I think if we had very high standards or we lived in a house that would take hours to clean, that's when we'd outsource to a cleaner.

It's also a reason why we don't have a huge house, neither of us would want to waste so much time cleaning it.

This is how I feel but alas I am the only person available to clean it (a cleaner is outside of my budget.)

I just want to live in a clean house. I feel no need to clean it with my own hands though.

I am a busy person and so by the time I get time to spare it takes a few hours.

Hours? What you doing to mess it that much

If you’re at work you aren’t using the kitchen, bathrooms, playroom etc. They don’t get used or messed up if you’re not at home.

Dishwasher doesn’t need loading/uploading etc.

Takes hours for me to clean my home and it’s a 1 bed flat!

What person would be creating an untidy kitchen and bathroom whilst at home, it's quite the opposite.

Not a mansion, but a 6 bedroom 4000 sq ft property with 5 bathrooms, vaulted ceilings, a vast amount of windows and double doors, hardwood and flagstone flooring that needs more than just a hoover and considerable land that requires maintenance, all of which is not done in a few hours. Simply washing the bedsheets and putting them back on takes all day. I have very high standards and don't like grubby windows, dusty skirting boards or unclean kitchen unit facias etc.

The house also gets less messy when you’re out at work and not there to create an untidy kitchen and bathroom.

Unless you have a mansion or don't clean every day, I don't understand how it would take hours and hours with two adults doing it. Or even one, to be honest.

That's a reason why both of us work too, it just seems fair to us that we both contribute financially.

Like I said previously I don't know anyone IRL who thinks this way. MN isn't a great example to sample.

'With two people do it, it doesn't take long at all.' This isn't the case in my situation.

I accept that sharing the household tasks equally is is how most couples manage it when both are working FT though, it's only fair. We just divide our way of running the household differently, yet fairly, because I don't work.

Well no, I clearly didn't say either of those things at all. For unknown reasons you are interpreting/twisting my comment in way you can get offended by, is it because you fancy an argument? Are taking aspects of another person's life personally? Both?

Let me repeat it for you: 'It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house.' This is just a basic fact.

'Not something we could do in a weekend.' How does not being able to do it in a 2 day weekend equate to me suggesting it is a FT job !? It is a PT job though.

I think a lot of people would lose their sanity working for the man 40 hrs a week to put bread on the table.

'particularly if well educated and used to a mentally stimulating career.' I am an intelligent woman who had what many might consider a stimulating career. This assumption that women who choose to stay home are bored dunderheads needs to be challenged.

'to basically become a cleaner.' There is much more to my life than simply being a cleaner.

'I wonder how your husband would feel about spending his entire life cleaning up after you all.' What is the purpose of you hypothesising about a strangers relationship? He loves his job (being self employed) and I love being a homemaker. I also don't spend my entire life doing this. I actually have time during the day to do what I want to do when I want to do it, my weekends and evenings are always free. I have more leisure time than the vast majority of people.

You've barely concealed your venom. Ask yourself why.