To say the behaviour crisis in schools can't just be blamed on parenting

But this is symptomatic of parents thinking every deficiency in their child needs special attention, heavy investment, and the best bespoke education money can buy to address it.

I have seen a touch of Munchausen in some parents in the way they aggressively pursue a diagnosis. School says they’re fine; GP says they’re fine; so they shop around for a private assessor who eventually just about gets the diagnosis over the line as they’re paid to do so.

I wish.

Our children have a high IQ. Wisc tested. They are bilingual and performance above. Polite and well-behaved. But 100% bored in state school.

Private and grammar have worked with them.

State doesn't care. At all.

And that statement exemplifies a core issue - lots of children have SEND because they can't cope academically? There have always been less/more academically able students, just like there are less/ more able people in sports and all areas of life. Does that make it a medical condition requiring a label? No it does not, and is a key reason 'SEND is exploding ', when really parental expectations need managing. It's fundamentally a fashion, like Emu, Goth etc.

The child has a problem with their leg and can't easily walk. Is something broken or is it a muscular problem? Does it need a label?

The child has a rash. Is it something contagious or something like excema? Does it need a label?

(Before anyone jumps in and says physical issues have definitely right "labels" - it's not actually that easy in practice is it? Medicine often requires a fair bit of informed guesswork before diagnoses can be made - hence all the dramas).

It is very useful to know what you're dealing with, especially as parents of SEND kids are often accused directly or indirectly of making the whole thing up.

That's a separate issue to what practically can be done about identified needs by a school, who pays for any necessary resources, and so on.

Legally, a school has to do their best to meet any special educational needs they've identified.

So it does rather create an incentive for needs not to be identified.

There are no "winners" here.

I was put up 2 classes (I also missed a year of school travelling so ended up only being one year higher). My DH also started university early as he was above average. But even if you're not smart enough to be put up, you are definitely given harder work or more work, there's really no need to be so bored you need to disrupt others

Everything does have a label now. Children who take longer to grasp key pieces of information are labelled with a processing disorder for example. Is this label useful? I am not sure. Yes they need information presented in a different way and a good teacher will pick up on this. They also need longer to complete tasks but does it need a label?

Everything does have a label now. Children who take longer to grasp key pieces of information are labelled with a processing disorder for example. Is this label useful? I am not sure. Yes they need information presented in a different way and a good teacher will pick up on this. They also need longer to complete tasks but does it need a label?

Try not to take what the unions say seriously.

There is a definite unspoken rule that the different services don’t slag each other off. For example they wouldn’t blame social services for not monitoring parents who need support because SS are like education and firefighting due to lack of resources. Going after other services is going to bite them in the arse at a future date.

Of course there’s multiple reasons why behaviour in schools is poor. Parenting is a convenient stick to use because there’s no person speaking on behalf of all parents who can point to other issues in education.

Good grief.

We've gone up the league tables academically whilst hurtled into a SEND crisis at a catastrophic speed. I'm fairly certain if school was less intense my DC would be able to manage her social difficulties.

4.8% have an EHCP and 13.6%SEN with no EHCP so 18.4% in total in England and Wales. Not sure what data in France you are comparing it to.

Other countries have far fewer children with SEN. France has under 3% compared with our 11%.

Other countries have far fewer children with SEN. France has under 3% compared with our 11%.

Yes I’ve heard many non-British or immigrant parents say how shocked they are at British parenting and how enabling, unhealthy and navel gazing it is.

We’ve encouraged introspection to a point where teenagers and young people know MH is key to everything and a way of avoiding anything they don’t want to do by using the buzz words every parent dreads.

So although apparently every other child has a mental health related condition, and we have skyrocketing rates of anxiety, suicides have actually been steadily decreasing since the 1980s and we have not seen, thankfully, any suicide spike relating to the MH ‘epidemic’ in young people.

We seem to think no teenager would lie, be dramatic, or exaggerate, even though this was literally what they were known for until 2015. When I was at school in the 2000s, being a bit depressed and self harm was actually a fashion (I know I’ll be shouted down but it WAS - I did it myself!). Everyone was ‘emo’ and cutting their wrists (not very deep) and posting pictures of themselves crying to MySpace while listening to sad emo songs. It was treated as a fad, and I’m happy to say all the girls I knew who went through this phase are alive today and doing well (and have ditched the huge side fringes).

Before emo there was goth, skater, punk etc - all subcultures showing rage, distress and depression in teenagers, because teenagers are a bit like that and it was an outlet.

But we don’t really have subcultures now - everyone is in a North Face jacket and leggings - so what’s left? Gender identity and other diversity labels, anxiety and school refusal. And while there have been a small core that are truly suffering, parents are no longer waving away their kids outbursts as teenage drama, they’re somewhat growing them by encouraging introspection and giving the results of keeping them off school and sending them to CAMHs etc.

We've gone up the league tables academically whilst hurtled into a SEND crisis at a catastrophic speed. I'm fairly certain if school was less intense my DC would be able to manage her social difficulties.

From my limited knowledge of education in other countries , teachers teach lessons at one level and all children , regardless of ability / need , are expected to keep up .

Unsure how this would help those on EHCP or with SEN needs ?

Easier job for teachers though !
Maybe needs are less recognised / diagnosed in other countries ?

So let's stick kids in front of videos as that's worked well with your 3yo?

The top PISA countries have bigger classes, more respected teachers, more discipline and a more respectful society. Even the EEF research shows class size has minimal impact on outcomes. Schools need to be better funded and have more external SEN support. They also need a societal shift where parents back schools and their consequences, and schools are allowed to give out consequences that have an impact (ie exclusion).

Her life outside of school is predictable and routine led. She has a brother. She does have a tablet but uses it for maybe 30 minutes a day, if that. She loves to read (upside down!) And she spent this evening writing fact cards on the European countries, she did about 12 tonight and will do the rest tomorrow. Last week she wrote an entire project on Henry VIII.

She doesn't have a huge amount of independence as she is a massive safety risk. I'm not talking minor issues, in this sense if you wouldn't leave a 2 year old unsupervised to do something you wouldn't leave her. She isn't able to access non-SEN holiday clubs or after school activities. She does have independence in that she has her daily routines at home that she does without fail.

She accesses short break activities run by the LA where they also have her on a strict 1-1 following their own risk assessment. It is the flight risk that is the issue. As an example, school had to relocate all of their door release buttons as she could let herself out of school with ease. It is all over her reports and assessments by various psychologists (not stated by me) that her flight response is out of her cognitive control.

Socially she has significant problems with her understanding, she has been in consistent social programmes and receiving SALT since she was 2, she's nearly 11 now. It hasn't made any difference. Her entire social interaction at school is when she spends an hour in the foundation class. She has no issue with the 4 and 5 year olds as they are at the same level as her socially.

She can't cope with busy, she never has been able to even from toddlerhood. She can't cope with things being too fast paced, possibly due to her auditory and information processing being so weak that it takes her twice as long to take the information in. She struggles with too much noise, but noise like people chatting not huge loud noises. She is good at self regulating in that her self regulation is she leaves the space and finds somewhere to hide but obviously this is a big issue in another way. She can't self regulate within the classroom. She hasn't been in her classroom since before Christmas, not because she is disruptive or not allowed but because she is so overwhelmed by it she just won't enter.