To say the behaviour crisis in schools can't just be blamed on parenting

But suicides have consistently decreased since the 1980s. We may have more teens threatening suicide or saying they have suicidal feelings, but actual suicides have gone down:

Over the past 15 years, the UK rate of suicide among 15-24 year olds has gradually fallen, but rose again in 2018 – although this be partly due to a change in coronial standards rather than a true rise. Between 1992 and 2017, the UK rate of suicide per 100,000 young people aged 15-24, decreased from 10.7 to 7.3, but rose to 9.1 in 2018 – a total of 714 registered deaths

So why is this happening despite worsening MH and MH services?

My DC behaviour at school is a reflection of how he is treated by his teachers.

All issues raised in school isn't what I see at home or when out and about with DC.
Sometimes it is the inability of the teacher to connect with pupils & subject matter in an interesting and engaging way. This will result in challenging behaviour from DC, then DC gets removed from class, missing out on teaching and understanding, by nextlesson they are behind and don't understand what the teacher is talking about... and so the cycle has started.

But it's easier to blame parents instead of looking at how to improve the way one teaches.

My DC behaviour at school is a reflection of how he is treated by his teachers.

All issues raised in school isn't what I see at home or when out and about with DC.
Sometimes it is the inability of the teacher to connect with pupils & subject matter in an interesting and engaging way. This will result in challenging behaviour from DC, then DC gets removed from class, missing out on teaching and understanding, by nextlesson they are behind and don't understand what the teacher is talking about... and so the cycle has started.

But it's easier to blame parents instead of looking at how to improve the way one teaches.

I speak as a mum of two children with EHCPs and someone who is a SENDIASS officer, name changed to protect my identity/job.

There is a strong rhetoric from the teaching unions this week about behaviour in schools and poor parenting. No mention of the bigger picture, just poor parenting.

My DC are 10 and 8, just two years behind them. When DC1 was a toddler there was a huge range of groups, support, targeted interventions through the local sure start centre. These were already being cut by the time my DC2 was a toddler. Then covid happened and the services and groups have just not returned. There is no early support anymore.

One of my DC is a challenge in school, fortuantly she is predominantly a flight risk rather than violent but still a behavioural challenge. We have had one physical incident where she shoved a teacher. Pure combination of factors that had led to DC being enclosed within a corner by several children and with nowhere to escape to she shoved to escape. Unacceptable but that was the reasoning of why and she was suspended for two days etc. She struggles to cope with the sensory demands of mainstream. Too many children, too much going on. They fly through the content whereas she likes to master things in depth before moving on. Too many low level behavioural issues like children who just don't ever stop talking. She can't navigate social dynamics. None of this DC can cope with. There is a lack of consistency in the school day and the routines. None of this is the school's fault but realistically how it is in every mainstream school. We are struggling to get her moved to a specialist setting. She has no learning needs and generally with the one exception, she isnt violent so the SEMH schools are not appropriate either.

My other DC would never dream of acting out, is not a behavioural issue at all despite his needs.

Based on the unions DC is entirely due to my poor parenting. It doesnt matter that DC2 is a behavioural dream. It doesnt matter that I have no behavioural issues with DC1 at home where it is quiet, the same rigid routine for the past 6 years and less social demands. It doesnt matter that she is in a completely wrong setting.

In my LA there are over 400 children like my DC1 who have specialist agreed but are stuck in mainstream with no setting to go to. There is nowhere for them to go. These are the children with specialist agreed by the LA. This doesn't include the many hundreds more who don't have specialist agreed or don't even have EHCPs yet.

Our health trust is on 3+ years for an initial appointment. CAMHs are almost non-existent. You are only considered for medication if you are already a behavioural problem in school, it doesn't matter if a child has severe ADHD until they are at the point they can no longer cope and it is at crisis point.

Early help, if accepted, offers 6 weeks of support. There is a huge gap between early help and child in need.

I speak to parents day in day out at work who are desperate for help as their children can not cope at school.

There will always be poorly behaved children due to poor parents but the majority? The majority are children who simply cannot cope in the setting they are in with nowhere to go to.

Over 400 children in my LA with specialist agreed but stuck in mainstream. That is an incredible number.

I know my DC spends 8.45am-2pm in a small cupboard with a 1-1 TA. She joins a much younger year group for the last hour a day. She does 95% of her schoolwork with me at home.

They need to bring back special schools for less disabled children. Mainstream isn’t working for many kids.

Admittedly DS has too much junk food, as he's moderately restricted in what he will eat - and believe me I didn't start out giving him junk. He he rarely drinks anything except water.

But when he was younger and we did take him out after school everyday and it made no difference to his behaviour. We had to stop going to the playground as we saw how the other children were treating him (which matched his complaints about being bullied in school), so instead we took him elsewhere and played basketball, football, tennis and badminton.

The problem with school though was that his behaviours were winding up the other children, with a couple of them working out what buttons to press to get DS to react. Some of his annoying behaviours were a reaction to the stress caused by the school environment. He'd always struggled, but COVID/lockdowns and the move to Juniors was too much - I am thankful in a way, as if it hasn't happened then it probably would have happened with the move to Secondary School and that would have been a lot worse.

I remember my ds during his pre school and primary school years especially would be climbing the walls at home, he needed a huge amount of physical exercise...I took him out every single day...I stood in goal on Christmas day in the rain while he booted a football at me 😂I think we have lost sight of what children should be doing. Many can't sit still and quietly at home...that is normal isn't it?

I think a lot of children's behaviour would improve massively if they had no screens, whole foods rather than processed , no fizzy drinks and were taken to the park every day. That's not to say sn don't exist or could all be solved by this obviously.

The places that cost tens of thousands per week are independent specialists. Independent specialists have exploded to take over a void created by not enough maintained specialist settings being available. Our LA has a handful of LA run places at around £30000 per year. If they opened more LA run settings they'd get the cost down considerably. It's hard to have sympathy when it was entirely foreseeable when they closes lots of maintained settings.

Additionally, our LA wanted to open around 80 places in satellites September 2024. 12 opened on time. A further 24 have opened in the 7 months since. 36/80 planned places. There is a school site they are planning to be a LA maintained setting. Years it has been going round in circles. Meanwhile Independent settings are created and popping up within a year. Again, it is hard to have sympathy as this was entirely preventable.

I think this too having read many social worker reports.

Personally, I thinkas a society, we have decided that both parents need to work outside the home to be able to afford materialistic things. Parents feed their kids crap food as they don’t have time to cook as they’re exhausted after a full day at work and want to spend time on their sofas with their phones. Because of this kids aren’t getting ‘practical’ time to learn things by their parents. Also the fact that there seems to be no boundaries in place which means kids can do whatever they want doesn’t help as they think rules don’t apply to them.
teachers are being asked to adapt teaching for everyone but still need to cover the curriculum in less time with fewer resources. The “able kids” are not helped in school as the teacher has to spend more time helping the ‘difficult/disruptive/SEN/ECHP/non English speaking” kids rather then pushing the able ones to be better.
Lack of resources in education mainly account for this.
Add in kids who aren’t toilet trained, parents who feel that school is ‘childcare’ and their lack of respect then this is what you get.

I think a lot of children's behaviour would improve massively if they had no screens, whole foods rather than processed , no fizzy drinks and were taken to the park every day. That's not to say sn don't exist or could all be solved by this obviously.

CAMHS is overwhelmed, and actual suicide attempts aren't always a good enough reason to be seen by them. Most of the behavioural issues you're talking about might get a referral if you can persuade your GP, but are likely to be turned down without an assessment.

I spoke to our GP a few weeks ago because DS has been talking about harming himself and wanting to die. GP can't do anything, which is why I'd put off contacting them while I looked at other options. There was a fantastic local group for young people who self harm but that's gone as the parent organisation had to make cuts. We're trying out a local mental health & wellbeing drop-in that is funded by CAMHS/the Health Board.

I think a lot of children's behaviour would improve massively if they had no screens, whole foods rather than processed , no fizzy drinks and were taken to the park every day. That's not to say sn don't exist or could all be solved by this obviously.

The school atmosphere and curriculum could be improved, absolutely. I’m all in favour of cost effective, good-of-the-majority changes which will make school life and learning better overall for children.

But there is no more money for SEN. On average households are making a £150 payment to social care per month through their council tax, and that doesn’t take into account the cost of DLA, SEN schools, hospital appointments and therapies from the core budget taxation. Contrary to popular opinion we have far more SEN places now than 20 years ago, with huge waiting lists. The places are astronomically expensive. I know of some placements which cost tens of thousands per week for 1 child.

No idea what the answer is but a bespoke education for half of kids just isn’t financially possible.

Plus before any child with SEMH issues gets a referral to CAMHS, they should have college confiscation of screens, gaming and junk food for 3 months.