Can reading be bad for kids?

Growing up I read lots but didn't do much, which set a pattern in place I think. Reading and doing is the sweet spot.

I think the issue here is your ridiculously strict screen rules. It’s great that he’s reading, but equally just having a blanket screen=bad policy isn’t very helpful.

Clearly no one wants him spending hours on consoles. However, there’s a lot of high quality content available through ‘screens’.

My older DC were born in the late 90s so didn’t have the tech we have now at age 8, but we watched TV/films together (developing concentration skills and ability to follow a story).They were also starting to become interested in current affairs and history, so watched the news and read articles online.

Both have gone on to be successful and happy young adults. They definitely aren’t addicted to screens- they actually prefer reading print newspapers and magazines!

There are also lots of non-passive screen-based activities now available- language learning, coding etc. Even a bit of gaming is not harmful. Fundamentally you are cutting your DS off from how the majority of the world accesses entertainment and information, so it’s no surprise he spends so much time reading.

It doesn’t matter. He will have plenty of non-fiction to read at school.

I do understand what you are getting at, OP. We all know reading is great for many different reasons, but sometimes it can be used to hide away from other issues, and actually doesn't require much creative input. Could you encourage activities that are reading based, to make him think about what he is reading? Or have discussions around what he is reading, or find an online bookclub for children? Maybe talk about character and plot development, how you'd turn it into a film, whether the character's appearances are relevant, whether he identifies with any of them.
Perhaps he could make a comic book, or some kind of fact file or instruction manual, or slides if he's that way inclined. Maybe come up with an outline for a sequel, or a series. Find ways to make him think about his reading.

You need to let him be who he is, not who you want to make him into.

Reading is not a passive activity

WTF? First of all, he’s eight years old. Stop fretting about the salary he might earn when he’s 30. Secondly, you don’t and shouldn’t get to decide what job is appropriate for your adult son, so I suggest you get real and start seeing him as a person rather than your personal project to make up for what you perceive as your own failings.

You come from a long line of academics and you're annoyed your son reads to much? Really?!

However you justify it to yourself, the consensus is unsurprisingly that you’re being wildly unreasonable. Let the poor boy read and maybe dial back on the extracurriculars.

Why?

Presumably it's worked out ok for you?

Presumably you enjoy it enough that you haven't needed to change career?

Presumably you want your child to be happy in their field?

I think this is about OP in two ways.
First you are projecting YOUR childhood and what you feel as an adult are your inadequacies on to him. No one can learn everything as a child. No one can be good at everything. Most importantly, OP’s son can clearly spend time alone (with a book). This is such a vital skill later in life.

Second, in response to my comment you said, ‘I don’t want him to be an academic.’ Why are you making career decisions for such a little boy? Maybe he will be one. Maybe he won’t.
But this is a child with two working parents in London who

• goes to after school club so presumably isn’t home till at least 5
• plays a number of sports
• also spends roughly 9-3 in school
• doesn’t get a great deal of screen time.

I hate that stuff too. Lego is not fun for me. I got all A*s and As in my GCSEs. Leave him alone, honestly. Let him be himself.

Reading is good, reading with your kids - reading for you or for them is even better. No problem

And jeez! He’s probably absolutely knackered with ASC and lots of extracurriculars! Let the poor boy read!

Of course reading has so many excellent benefits but I understand why you might want him to have a bit more variety.

For our only child, we find that if he has some music, a podcast or audiobook on in the background, he'll happily build Lego or do other creative things for ages. I like doing stuff with some background noise as well, so I get why he prefers it.

And yes, let him be HIM. He’s 8, sure, but he has his own personality and agency and his own interests. Cherish the boy you have, don’t try to mould him into what YOU see as ideal.

He's got activities and friends outside home, so I'd only see it as an issue if he was obsessing over the same one or two books. If he's reading widely, including well-written fiction and age-appropriate non-fiction, then I don't see anything to worry about, he'll be subconsciously learning a lot, including enhanced grammar, vocabulary and all sorts of random ideas and facts that will make him a more interesting and well rounded person.

Don’t limit reading, that’s ridiculous. I was like that as a kid. I am now an academic, and still spend lots of time reading, so that’s the biggest risk factor you face, I imagine 🤣 it’s a wonderful escape into other worlds. As long as you can drag him out for a walk or bike ride now and then, don’t worry!

I'm getting flashbacks to my mum telling me to get my head out of my book and go and play!

He likes reading and he gets some exercise, sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I don’t like lego either. I don’t think thats a problem. I think he’s just getting to the age where he doesn’t want to “play” anymore.

Good grief. This is making me feel incredibly sad.

Just leave the kid alone and stop obsessing over trying to ‘improve’ him. He’s a human being, not your project. Why the gibbering fuck would you make him spend his down-time doing activities he simply doesn’t enjoy? He goes to school. When he is there, he has to do activities he wouldn’t have chosen and which thus ‘challenge’ him. When he’s relaxing at home, let him do something TOTALLY HARMLESS that he is good at and loves. It’s reading, ffs. He’s improving his vocabulary, his imagination, his ability to understand human motivations and emotions, his empathy, his ability to use language effectively and persuasively.

Stop projecting your navel-gazing angst about your own childhood on to your son. He isn’t you.

If he hasn’t got one already, get him a library card and let him pick whatever he wants to borrow, every week. Let him pick books that are ‘too hard’ and ‘too easy’ and ‘too grown-up’ and ‘too babyish’ and whatever the hell he likes. Enthuse about his choices, encourage him to talk about them, what he liked and didn’t like and how they made him feel and who his favourite characters are and which book’s world he’d most like to live and what he’d write about himself if he was an author. Let him enjoy what he enjoys and embrace it.

Reading will benefit his vocabulary, spelling and imagination. Is he an introvert? Perhaps reading is his way of relaxing, as well as being a window into another world.

I always had my head in a book as a child. I found it very soothing, in a world that was too busy, and even now, I can still recall random facts that I came across in books over the years! It has its bonuses when advising others, or when watching quiz shows. Although I don't get anywhere near as much time to read these days, given my working hours, it's still the perfect way to relax.

Oh to hell with "appropriate to his age": I was sneaking into the adult section of the library at age 11. Not to read "naughty" stuff but just to have access to longer, more challenging, more complex books!

Just read that OP is an only child too, so I've edited my reply.

Give him a break please.

Why not offer to play a board game together or he could have a friend over and you could show them a story telling game (like Dungeons and Dragons or something like that). Try and develop his interest rather than taking away his escapism. Please let him have his down time - you've said he does activities outside so let him pick how he wants to relax. Just think of all the wonderful neural pathways he's building!