Upset at comment DH made when TTC

Yeah see this changes everything. Why are you trying to have a baby with a man with no respect for you? Why! Do you just want to be unhappy?

Keep your legs crossed and pack your bags

He’s insecure in himself & his “ability” or lack off 😂 & is deflecting on to you to make you feel like the problem x hope you’re ok I know all the games it’s horrible 😢

Sorry, voted YABU by mistake.

And you are choosing to procreate with this man because.............?

Have you given us the whole story OP? Did you make any sort of comment to him about his inability to maintain?

Right, so you already know he's horrible. Again, why have you chosen to have a child with this man?

I'm so sorry OP. I think his comment would be a deal breaker for me. I would always be wondering who he was thinking of when he was having sex with me... because he has explicitly stated you aren't enough of a turn on by yourself. And that is cruel.

Urgh, what an absolute pig.

How on earth can you bear to be near him, much less have sex with him?

I have the ick MASSIVELY and I dont even know him!

I really dislike guys like your husband.

I used to do yoga on a studio where guys would stand in the door and watch us, when we shut the door they would look through the window, then when we put paper up, they would open the door. Assholes. 🖕

He was also trying to neg you because he couldn't perform on demand.

That's actually revolted me. So he wants to come home and stick what was made hard by other women's bums into you.
Imagine that being a child's origin story.

Just sounds like he was trying to be funny…

Are you sure you want to TTC a baby with this pig? I get that it can get a bit “chore like” having sex at certain times when TTC, but that’s no excuse for his comment.

OP, please don’t listen to posters telling you it must all be your fault and you need to smile more, perk up and entertain him better. It’s not the 50s for goodness sake!! TTC is hard on you both and requires work from both sides. That said, I can see how some people could act out of character during this time. I would, however, be having an open conversation with some very, very strong words and boundaries. If, on the other hand, this isn’t a one-off, I would consider if he is right for you. It’s quite a disrespectful thing to suggest - that he needs visual stimulation from elsewhere - not to mention manipulative if fully intended, and I hope you’re okay. It can be a tough journey sometimes, so look after yourself and don’t put it all on you!

I imagine you're being very overwhelming and emotional and taking the fun out of sex, as often happens when ttc.

And that means he can disrespect (“neg”, as I believe they call it these days) his partner…? Oh, the poor man… having to have slightly scheduled sex, due to how nature and biology works, in order to create a child that - by all accounts - they both want. How awful for him.

In other words, my own wife doesn’t do it for me, but some hot chicks at the gym will. I wouldn’t be TTC with him after that. Or doing anything with him.

Wise words from your aunt, I wonder if she knew from experience.

Some advice from an auntie of mine which has really helped me: Choosing the man you have a baby with is the only decision of your life that cannot be undone. You can sell a house, get a divorce, bounce back financially, make new friends, anything else can be untangled.

But if you have a baby, you will be tied to this man for the next 20 years. And it will affect EVERYTHING in your life. Everything. And that you cannot undo.

I'd get on the pill and find a better man.

I’m guessing he feels like shit so wanted to make you feel the same. He's a prick obviously.

I think you’re missing the point! They’re not having sex because they want to, they’re having pre planned sex to conceive! I’m guessing he’s struggling to perform on demand which is quite common in these situations!

So when you are making life with this prince he's imaging other women... when you have cankles and a big belly how will he make you feel then... Will he have to resort to cheating if not already

Because you werent implying that your husband doesnt turn you on and you could only have sex with him after watching a film with a guy you fancy in it.

It was a comment that you both got and found amusing. Thats not the case with the OP. He couldnt get it up, said he would be horny after looking at girls at the gym (barf) and then came home all ready for a shag.

Omg, I'd be actually fuming. I actually can't believe he'd make a comment like that.

I'm currently also TTC and not particularly impressed by the effort DH is making. We also had a failed try this last month when I was ovulating but strangely enough my period is now 4 days late. I'm still breastfeeding so I'm putting it down to hormones still settling as I really doubt I'm pregnant from our efforts or lack thereof!
We'll know in a few days, but I'm expecting a better show from him this month.

I know his work is hard at the moment (he works in London on stock trading) but it really is a struggle when it's all on them to perform and it just isn't happening.