My partner and I have been together for a year and a half. We haven’t been actively “trying,” but we haven’t been preventing either—we’ve had unprotected sex, and we both know I want a child, and he’s expressed that he does too.
I take my health and fertility seriously: I don’t drink or smoke, I eat well, exercise, and I’m really conscious about creating the best possible environment for conception. But my partner is 14 years older than me, and he still drinks, vapes, and occasionally smokes weed. I’m starting to feel really alone in this.
This month, I timed everything right. I tracked my ovulation, took care of myself, and now I’ve started using ovulation strips and even booked a pre-pregnancy screening with blood work to make sure I’m healthy. Meanwhile, he’s been away on a two-week boys’ trip—drinking and smoking—and I just feel so let down.
I really want him to go for a fertility analysis, because I can’t help but worry that his lifestyle and age might be affecting our chances. But I know I’ll probably be met with “if it happens, it happens” or “I’m not ready anyway.” It hurts, because I do love him, and I don’t want to lose him—but I do want to start a family, and time is not exactly on our side, especially for him.
Can anyone relate? How do I navigate this? I feel like we need a serious, honest conversation—a reality check. But I’m scared of what that might mean.