To be upset by this reason for not coming to my wedding?

Cost might be a worry for her, and she's using the dog as a reason. Perhaps embarrassment on her side, and she doesn't want to mention the cost issue?

Be kind - organanising and paying to go to a foreign wedding is a lot that you're asking of people.

She's probably using the dog as an excuse to save your feelings, you'd likely be even more offended if she told you her real reasons.

Who on earth wants to commit to a wedding in Italy, in 2 years time?

My family won’t leave their dogs. They are working dogs and whilst friendly don’t really respond to other people. The dogs would not enjoy being away for days.
Even if they could stay with someone costs have gone up dramatically. Kennels are £££££ and require jabs etc. Sitters expect a lot of money to sit a dog overnight. On top of paying for a holiday.

A dog is involved. Have you not been around the past few years, everyone will automatically side with the dog 😂😂

What would the cost be for this person? Is it cheaper for them, too?

It's awful to be put on the spot like that. I hope things are better for you now. 💜

So you want to put people through expenses, booking annual leave, not invite their partner and be upset they won’t come? I think people who do these destinations deserve to be let down. The entitlement on other people’s lives and the expectation to then put themselves out just for your day is so unbelievably selfish. Have the wedding with just you two in Italy and then have the UK one everyone to attend. And you saying it’s 2027 means you think she has time to save as if you are owed that.

So I think asking people to go to Italy for a wedding is a big ask and it’s inevitable people won’t come…

… but not being able to leave the dog for a few days is a poor excuse.

Might she be annoyed her partner isn’t invited as not ‘immediate family’? I’m not against an international wedding… but I wouldn’t go on my own and would think mental to expect me to come without my partner.

Oh and when you say cheaper, you mean cheaper for you of course. It can hardly be cheaper for your guests who have to buy flights and accommodation for presumably at least 3 nights.

Yes, I often think this is a good solution. Have the wedding here, the honeymoon at the destination.

When I was a poor solo mum, to get out of events that cost money I used my dog as an excuse why I couldnt come. I felt ashamed to say I was skint.

Have a wedding at home and honeymoon in Italy. People are self focused and you are just making work for yourself.

You're expecting her to travel to Italy for your wedding and not inviting her partner? I wouldn't go either.

You can't have an abroad wedding and ve upset if people don't attend, you just can't.

Do you want them to give the real reason which is likely to be that they don’t want to spend £2k + going to a wedding, oh and they would need to find a dog sitter? If you choose to get married abroad- unless one of you is from there - then it’s beholden on you to be gracious when people decline to come.

Tbh OP "dream weddings" may seem the most important thing in the world for the bride, and possibly the groom, but for a lot of the other people who are expected to be involved they are actually a real problem. A cause of a lot of expense, inconvenience and calls on their time which they could do without.

If someone doesn't want to attend, for whatever reason, I don't see why the onus should be on them to do so.

It's very self indulgent to plan an expensive wedding abroad (for guests- it might be cheaper for you but it's not for them!) And then be arsey people can't come. Dog care for a holiday is another expense, several hundred pounds.

You regularly see people recommending making excuses when someone doesn't want to do something, or they can't, usually for financial reasons. Her dog may well be her excuse.

Honestly, weddings abroad are a total ball-ache (in my opinion, I am totally on board with others who find them a joy), I would use any excuse going to get out of it. In the kindest way, people don’t feel the same sense of profound occasion that the bride and groom feel about their wedding day. This can be hard for people to reconcile sometimes.

If you want people to come to the wedding, make it accessible for them.

If you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that many people won’t be able to come for a variety of reasons- dogs, work, childcare, cost .

Why not have the honeymoon in your favourite place in Italy instead?

You asked people beforehand if they would be up for it, and you've got your answer. What was the point of asking if you were going to get so upset by someone saying no?

Does the person ever travel without the dog? If yes, then YANBU. If no, then YABU.

I have a friend who has a rescue and it’s so anxious if it’s not with her, her DM or her DP that she just can’t leave it with anyone else. They haven’t been on holiday (except UK where they can take the dog) for years. They have a saving fund to spend on dream holidays once it’s passed to make up for it.

Just marry there yourselves. Why put the financial strain on others?

Also, it's 2 years ahead, and some people genuinely don't like to commit that far in advance.

Are you paying for all the flights and accommodation? If not, that’s probably why she can’t come.