To be upset by this reason for not coming to my wedding?

It could be she can't afford to go or there are genuine reasons why she doesn't want to leave her dog. It could have Separation Anxiety, be elderly, have an illness or just not be that bonded with her partner.

It’s not the dog! It’s something she can’t disclose eg medical, phobia. It might concern her or someone she’s close to. Don’t push it or take offence. The true situation will reveal itself.

She’s not saying no to your wedding because of the dog. She just doesn’t want to go all the way to Italy for someone’s wedding.
the dog is her way of making it less blunt. But you’ve not seen it that way.

Not all single females are happy to travel solo (not me personally, but.....), and if she splashes out on the Italian trip, this may preclude having a holiday with her own partner, either because of budgetary reasons, or using up annual leave days.

Unless you are George and Amal a destination wedding is going to exclude some people. Personally , I find destination weddings self indulgent and exclusive. Sometimes I think couples choose them to avoid wedding politics.
As some posters have said, the dog is probably not the real reason. Your sister sounds angry and offended.

Definitely you shouldn't worry about her not attending. My daughter married abroad and knew I would not be able to go before it was booked. They then had a party here once back so it was win win. Can't see the problem?

If she is your relative, then Her partner IS your relative, by common law or marriage.
You cleave to one another and become one when you deem to live in a 'married' state.
If he means so much to her, then to say hes nothing to you because hes unrelated is just plain Wrong!

I thought this exact thing. My DH s,my favourite person and there's no way I would attend a wedding without him. I'm not precious, but any invite that excluded him, would be thankyou for inviting me, but Im not single, have a fabulous day, hope to catch up soon.

First of all congrats and best wishes on your future wedding. These added details are important. While she goes on holiday will you be working while you're dogsitting? If so then I'm even more confused about why the dog can't stay with her partner while he's at work. Is something else going on in your relationship with your sister? For her to respond so fast and give the dog as the reason - I wonder if there's something going on with her.

You're right, it is. I have no plans to go there again though, it has changed a lot and sadly not for the better.

The five year travel passport makes a big difference and we can’t access that now. When I’ve brought my pet over to the continent, I’ve ended up paying more to take her than for my car, me and the kids for our return journeys! It’s bonkers!!

I agree it was easier and I lived there but I still had to get the rabies done (which lasts) and the treatment before travel back etc which had to be costed in, special collars for ticks etc. It would still be worth it for me to take my current dog if I have the urge to go back. He can be left but I like to have him with me a lot of the time.

It was all SOOOO much easier before Brexit. Not now. It also costs upwards of £200 for a one time travel certificate and an additional admin charge on ferry/ shuttle/ plane. As well as that, the dog has to have had a rabies vaccine and the owners have to arrange for further vaccinations before returning to the UK. Not cheap and really not that straightforward.

This needn't be a problem, I used to travel to and from France quite a bit with my dog. They're better respected there too which makes a holiday.

No one should expect anyone, however close they are to you, to attend a destination wedding. If it is important to you to have everyone there then don’t marry abroad. If the location is more important then take every guest as an added bonus.

Or maybe your experience is strange. Either way As I said the amount of time is arbitrary it doesn’t matter if it’s 5 days or 5 weeks. No is a full sentence, yes you’re being unreasonable, destination weddings are inherently selfish, when you have one it’s the risk you take that people you love won’t be able to attend and her reasons are not your business she said no accept it and an invitation isn’t a summons. I’m not sure why you’re on here asking if you’re being unreasonable when it’s pretty clear you wanted validation and not an actual answer. You don’t get to decide what is it isn’t important to other people and what they spend their money and time off on. You asked they answered. Yet youre still upset You asked us and we answered. Yet you’re still upset. This is YOUR dream no one else’s. Respect that

I have an issue with destination weddings full stop. You’re basically saying to people that if they want to share in your special day they have to fork out a whole lot of money and use up precious, limited annual leave to holiday in a place that is your choice, not theirs! If you want to get married abroad, do it for yourselves but don’t expect friends and loved ones to be there. If they are, fabulous, but you have no right to be angry if they’re not.

So you're not getting married in Italy but want your family to go to Italy to participate in a wedding which will only be a blessing if RC and what if not? Even though you'll also be having a celebration in the UK where you are getting married, which may or may not be at the same time?

Just have your marriage and wedding in the same place and as your family and enjoy a lovely honeymoon in Italy

I think your experiences are unusual @Fairynightlvr. I’ve heard of one or two where guests have been invited for a week, but never 3 weeks! That said, I’ve only ever been to one ‘destination wedding’ where neither Bride or Groom had any connection to the country they got married in. Whenever else I’ve travelled it’s been to the wedding of friends who aren’t British. Can’t begrudge an Italian getting married in Italy, or a South African getting married in South Africa!

Personal experience lol. The destination weddings I’ve been invited to have all been for 2-3 weeks because they always frame them as you get to have a “beautiful vacation at X location while also celebrating our big day”. Either way the amount of time really doesn’t matter whether it’s 5 days or 50 days. The point still stands. This is the risk you take when having a destination wedding, not everyone will want to go because it’s OPs dream location no one else’s. A destination wedding, imo, are inherently selfish. You are asking your loved ones to spend their time off and money to attend your wedding in a different country because it’s “your dream”. The number is arbitrary really

That’s not it though. Your husband would be there - because apparently you think getting married should be a significant event, but then you also think being married isn’t really that relevant so no partners welcome. I don’t think I’d go to a wedding where my husband wasn’t welcome except perhaps for a work colleague who had a table of work people where my husband would be bored to death.

@FairynightlvrWhere on earth have you got 21 days from?

Yes, you are being unreasonable. An invitation is not a summons and this is the risk you take having a destination wedding. It’s your dream experience no one else’s. Requesting 21 days, imo, is a huge ask to begin with. People’s lives and responsibilities don’t stop for your wedding. Your wedding day is the highlight of your life no one else’s. To you it’s a beautiful celebration, for 21 days, to everyone else it’s not. It’s a responsibility. It’s your dream location not theirs. People really need to stop being so selfish with other peoples lives. You also need to accept when someone declines. No is a full sentence. You don’t know the ins and outs of her life and responsibilities. She can love you to the moon and back still doesn’t make the trip feasible for her.

We only get one holiday abroad really. I am going to use my annual leave when I like to go somewhere I want to thanks.

If it was my sister I would probably go to be fair - but again it depends.

Our dog is getting on and I’d be terrified to leave him, with him dying while we are away, having been pining for us.

OP: fine , you thought about it, you consulted family, got a range of responses that indicated traipsing off to Italy was not their preferred choice.

So arrange to get married here, invite everyone, don't sulk or hold passive aggressive grievances.

You asked, they responded, go ahead with Plan B knowing that they will happily attend in the UK.

Then enjoy your honeymoon in Italy.