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Husband's extreme diet is worrying

82 replies

Peekaboooooo · 19/04/2025 07:24

My dh has always been erratic with his food likes and dislikes and has a very all or nothing approach to food. In recent month, this has got more extreme. He is now on the carnivore diet and it mostly eating mince, eggs and chicken. He was eating porridge, veg, fruit, nuts and kefir a few weeks ago but he's now eliminated those too. He won't eat potatoes or grains now and very very rarely will he ever have a treat. If he does, it's something like a bit of 85% dark chocolate.

He's 37, 5ft 10 and just over 9 stone. So he's underweight. He says he's doing this to heal his gut as he has self diagnosed leaky gut. As long as I've known him he's had flair ups of ibs but I believe that's more down to his anxiety. He has some complex ptsd and anxiety problems, long term.

I've asked him to see a doctor which he seems reluctant to do and will say things like, I'll go if YOU want me to. Meaning he'll do it to get me off his back! He's still not been yet.

He's constantly looking food stuff up on his phone and watching American 'experts' taking about these diets on YouTube. He reads all food packaging intensely and critisies it, even if he's not the one eating it!

His eating is extreme and totally obsessive. His mood is also very effected by food and he gets incredibly 'hangry' yet he also does a bit of intermittent fasting which makes that worse. Sometimes he'll go to work and not eat until he gets home at 5pm. That's not everyday but at least 2 times a week.

I've got to the point where I'm really getting worried about this. I'm scared what he's doing to himself in the short term and long term but he just won't hear it. He dismisses red meat and certain cancers and dismisses high cholesterol with high fat diets, saying that both those things are now unfounded. The problem is he's getting his so called facts from sources that I would not see at reputable.

It's effecting our family life now. We have two young children and rarely eat together at home because he eats and cooks such different things to us. The children and myself eating a moderate, healthy diet with an occasional treat. Last week our 3yo actually questioned why he wasn't eating breakfast or lunch when we were on holiday. It's scary to see someone you love do this to themselves when they are also in denial that there's a problem and that he's in the right and the rest of us are totally wrong. I think this is a type of eating disorder now or health anxiety. He's become very serious because of all this and isn't himself, it's actually really sad.
Aibu? What should I do?

OP posts:
Peekaboooooo · 19/04/2025 07:33

curious79 · 19/04/2025 07:29

This is very obsessive indeed. Of he /you want an expert in gastro health then look up Dr Alan Desmond. He is a gastroenterologist who can help him with leaky gut (Devon based, does remote consultations) but can also help him get back onto the straight and narrow as the carnivore diet is absolutely not healthy long term, even if people feel good in the short term. He’ll destroy his gut biome and raise his risk of cardiovascular disease.
He probably needs counselling. He will set up your kids for issues with food too

@curious79 thank you. That's really helpful. I'm getting so worried by this whole situation.

OP posts:
Peekaboooooo · 19/04/2025 07:31

ThirdStorm · 19/04/2025 07:28

I’ve done lots of reading about these keto style diets and fasting and there are some fascinating health benefits. I’d try supporting him in that front putting aside my own worries about not getting 5 a day! But address the moods and obsessiveness that’s affecting your family.

@ThirdStorm I want to be supportive but this is all self diagnosed (gut issues etc) and he looks so thin! That can't be right, even if this diet can be beneficial to some people

OP posts:
ThirdStorm · 19/04/2025 07:30

PS. I never eat breakfast and occasionally do OMAD, “one meal a day” and I’m perfectly fine. But I’d appreciate the need to be discreet around children.

curious79 · 19/04/2025 07:29

This is very obsessive indeed. Of he /you want an expert in gastro health then look up Dr Alan Desmond. He is a gastroenterologist who can help him with leaky gut (Devon based, does remote consultations) but can also help him get back onto the straight and narrow as the carnivore diet is absolutely not healthy long term, even if people feel good in the short term. He’ll destroy his gut biome and raise his risk of cardiovascular disease.
He probably needs counselling. He will set up your kids for issues with food too

Eestar · 19/04/2025 07:29

It's orthorexia. He absolutely should get help for this but it's very complex, like any eating disorder.

ThirdStorm · 19/04/2025 07:28

I’ve done lots of reading about these keto style diets and fasting and there are some fascinating health benefits. I’d try supporting him in that front putting aside my own worries about not getting 5 a day! But address the moods and obsessiveness that’s affecting your family.

Peekaboooooo · 19/04/2025 07:28

I should add that he's constantly tired and doesn't sleep well, bordering on insomnia. That's been going on for years.

OP posts: