Husband's extreme diet is worrying

I agree it sounds like eating disorder territory. I would offer to go along with him for the check up. He may feel he is only doing it for you but you have to start somewhere.

If you could encourage him to see a GP, as a general well-ness checkup, that would be a start.

From what I know about EDs, and it’s only indirectly, from other people I know, is that the whole household needs to achieve a balance. A parent skipping meals and avoiding eating with the family would be very worrying. It can lead to high levels of control and then uncontrolled binging.

It sounds like he needs a holistic approach to his MH and controlled eating. I hope you find a way through 💐

I've skimmed the thread.

YANBU to be so concerned about him. OPs have commented from personal experience & knowledge, & I concur that he is between an ED & MH problems.

Either way he needs to see the GP for a full check up, consideration of his concerns about his health & with a useful outcome e.g treatment plan or onward referral.

First, I suggest that you have a phone call with the GP to share your concerns - there is no breech of patient confidence in this as it is yourself you are speaking about - & from that point encourage your DH to see the GP asap.

He sounds most unwell. His disordered eating & patchy nutrition are not promoting good health. EDs must be taken seriously.

My ED was triggered by the need for control in other aspects of my life at the time and it spiralled. Not a soul can tell or force you to stop. I remember sitting knowing I had an issue but feeling like an addiction I couldn't stop, I thought to myself I'm never going to get better. I wanted to but I couldn't .. really difficult to explain.
I did eventually, lifting restrictions a little at a time, keeping myself distracted and a happy relationship becoming happy within myself again.

therapy would be a good idea, it wasn't really a thing ten years ago unless I just didn't hear of it I was young.

How worrying. It’s clearly an ED. Presumably as an adult it has to be his choice to seek treatment but I would do everything in my power to get him to a decent Gp

I had an ED late teens. It sounds very extreme and restrictive and would probably be classed as disordered eating if it impacts his daily life ie going out to eat a meal. It's good that it is very health based and he cares about what's in his food but it sounds obsessive. There has to be balance.

It’s NOT normal. He will be severely deficient in vital vitamins and minerals. He needs help.

If he is on keto/carnivore then I wouldn't expect him to get hangry and suspect something else is going on there. When I've been on a low carb diet in the past I have to force myself to eat sometimes as the hunger goes.

From what I've read I'd wonder if his bigger problem is mental health and if that was dealt with he might not be so extreme in his diet and obsessive with it.

He should see his GP and get help with his mental health issues. You can contact Beat for further advice.

At 510 and 9 stone he’s most certainly under weight

im 53 female and 10 stone and have visible abs!

he sounds like he has orthorexia he most certainly needs help navigating this but has to be when he is ready

Your husband has an eating disorder!

as someone that has suffered my entire life with ed and now helps others with theirs its not a case of telling the person to stop

it sounds like orthorexia which is an obsession with being healthy or his version of healthy

he needs help to navigate it but you cannot force him as he will just react by going harder

I’m sorry you are going through this as I know how hard it is to watch someone self harm in this way

lots of support groups out there

sending love and hugs

Is he getting treatment for ptsd?

I've sent a PM, OP. I recognise this situation very well!

It sounds like a mental health thing to me. A bit like OCD. You could avoid talking about worries to him for awhile and suggest going for a day out somewhere or having friends over or taking a few days off work. It might pull him out of it somewhat. If his bloods are normal, I wouldn't worry too much. In fact you worrying about him too much could make him worse. I would concentrate on your general routine for now. It could be just a phase that will pass. Could be a good time to book a holiday too 😃

Has or is he having treatment for his c-PTSD (assuming that is something identified by a MH clinician) @Peekaboooooo ?

Carnivote diet is realy extreme, we actually gave it a go and were going to try it for a few weeks and lasted not even a day, but we did take some aspects of it and actualy feel better for it.. namely less processed foods, cutting out carbs, upping our protein intake. So actually not really carnivore diet at all but we started with the concept of carnivore diet as a base.
The full carnivore diet is super extreme, it is the latest fad diet and theres so much stuff on the internet about it. I can't see how it can be healthy as a long term diet at all.
I think your husband sounds like he is searching for solutions for his health issues and clinging onto this diet as a possible solution.
Make sure he is gettjng regular check ups and blood pressure checks.
Hopefully he will get bored of this diet, as i really can't see how anyone can live on it long term.

Sounds like me when I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa (and OCD) at around 30. Fast forward 15 years and I now suspect I am undiagnosed neurodivergent (AuDHD), which explains so much and I’m looking into. My eating disorder convinced me that I was sensitive to gluten. That made it super easy to restrict what I ate with a ‘valid’ reason. It was utter nonsense, I eat gluten now with no problem. Then it was no potatoes, rice or any starchy carbs, then no fruit unless particular berries, then only protein/low carb veg (and fat, I wasn’t scared of that as long as I was eating the protein and exercising enough) to stay in ketosis. Then, only white protein like egg whites, fish and chicken and only green veg like broccoli, spinach and cucumber. I also fasted until early evening. More and more rules and inflexible thinking. The thing with an eating disorder is that you don’t want to get help because it serves a huge purpose, very effectively. You’re so consumed by rules/control, anxiety and exhaustion that you don’t have time or energy to think about anything else. I did go to the GP because I was threatened with something I didn’t want to happen. I was already in private therapy for self-diagnosed disordered eating (reluctantly as persuaded by my ex). My therapist phoned my GP before I went as they didn’t trust me to tell the truth. I kept ‘just’ well enough to avoid being admitted during out patient treatment (NHS) but it got scary at one point when I realised I was totally out of control. I am physically recovered now, but it only happened when I was (subconsciously) ready to, ie, something new and exciting in my life which I gave more attention to that my eating disorder, than, little steps. I wonder if you are able to persuade him to go to the GP either around his ‘gut’ issues or, tiredness. Suggest maybe he could get a blood test. Perhaps he might consent to you contacting the GP on his behalf?

Probably, I’ve since added healthy carbs and had no issues, fasting can cause it too, was so annoying as docs kept advising me to eat a healthy diet as if I ate lots of takeaways and when I said I don’t eat unhealthy at all I could tell they thought I was at it as I’m overweight but that’s due to a health condition and not diet

I have a friend like this. I dont know what id do if it was a partner. Its so controlling of her entire life

I think my hospital inpatient trip with gallstones was related to the low carb diet I was on, too.

I did high fat low carb diet with fasting too and ended up in hospital with gallbladder issues, was so unwell I was off work for 2 months! It’s ok to do certain diets if they work but it doesn’t sound like it is, he’s extremely underweight and not sleeping well. It must be miserable if you go away together and he won’t eat all day. Have you explained how it’s impacting you?

This man is severely underweight and has a totally disordered attitude to eating. This is a mental health issue, a very worrying one.i can’t believe some pp are focusing on IBS/ leaky gut etc.

These kinds of diets are a really effective mask for anorexia/orthorexia. You'll always have people (like pps on this thread) that will validate your self-harm in eating by bringing in words like keto and carnivore. It's extremely harmful.
I know this because I have an ED, and at my worst, I was claiming (and half-believing) low-carb and fasting as a healthy way of living. It's amazing how many people excuse ED once they hear certain key words.

I have been near (inc dairy) carnivore at times and am no just very low carb. Have done this for nearly 10 years. I no longer have depression, asthma, hayfever etc. My eyes don't constantly water and my nose does not run.

Has it fixed his IBS?

He does sound quite underweight.

The way he is eating is a symptom of his mental health issue.

People who do extreme diets do tend to be somewhat obsessive or they wouldn’t be able to keep it up - but in this case he’s crossed the line into solid mental health issues.