Page 4 | DD says my snoring keeps her up at night but DH and DS say they can’t hear me

ML5 · 2025-04-18T22:57:50+00:00

Hi everyone just very confused right now. DD says my snoring keeps her up at night and she can’t sleep yet DH/DS say they can’t hear me so I am very confused by this. Yes I do snore but if it’s keeping DD up then surely it would affect DH/DS as well. DH & me sleep separately (but not because of the snoring) DS & DD have their own rooms. I sleep downstairs bedroom so this has confused me a lot.

MrsPeterHarris · 19/04/2025 08:50

Tell her she’s an adult and to move out if she doesn’t like it.

RockahulaRocks · 19/04/2025 08:47

DH and his mum both snore like troopers but it’s only DH who keeps me awake/wakes me up. Same as DD making an unusual sound will probably wake me up but the trains going past at the end of the street don’t disturb me in the slightest. I don’t think it’s necessarily the sounds itself, but how your brain reacts to them. Maybe your DD’s brain has rationalised your DH’s snoring but yours has a specific tone or particular noises to it. Especially if you wake regularly as it might be sleep apnoea - DH has a mild case and my god, the snuffling and big snorts don’t half drive me insane at 3am.

Obvnotthegolden · 19/04/2025 08:47

You sound annoying and a victim, poor you "so confused" and why isn't your DD blaming DH, do you think your DD is lying? Is there a backstory as to why your DD would say it's you and not DH?

AnotherHappyCamper · 19/04/2025 08:46

It's extremely difficult to sleep if someone in the household snores really badly, and continued sleep deprivation is horrendous.

Especially if it's the sort of snoring associated with sleep apnoea. It would be good to get that checked out.

Dreamerinme · 19/04/2025 08:44

Have you or your DH been to the GP and asked to be investigated for Sleep Apnoea?

It’s a serious condition and untreated it can cause heart disease, high BP, stroke, and diabetes etc.

My DH finally got investigated after years of me nagging and he had one of the worst results the consultant had ever seen. He now has a CPAP machine to use while sleeping which also provides auto feedback to the hospital.

Both of you need to see your GP asap.

Smallmercies · 19/04/2025 08:44

It's not selfish to snore, but it is selfish not to do anything about it. Saying your daughter can just move out isn't very nice.

Smallmercies · 19/04/2025 08:43

ML5 · 19/04/2025 08:40

So I am selfish for snoring and my DH isn’t? I am up every morning for work 630am and DD doesn’t work and regularly stays up until 2/3 in the morning then tries to sleep. DD shouting, banging doors, phoning & messaging me on weekends as well as work days because of only me snoring in the house is my fault and makes me selfish for my snoring keeping her up when I am the one getting up for work at 630? My DH sleeps room next to her and he snores badly is not a reason that it could very well be him snoring?

What a lovely family you sound.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 19/04/2025 08:42

Sounds like she’s a very light sleeper - get her some earplugs

Original poster

ML5 · 19/04/2025 08:40

Middleofthetown · 19/04/2025 08:36

And are you less confused now posters have told you it’s because of the way sound travels?

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Yes I know it’s how sound travels thank you so I am not confused about that

OP posts:

Original poster

ML5 · 19/04/2025 08:40

So I am selfish for snoring and my DH isn’t? I am up every morning for work 630am and DD doesn’t work and regularly stays up until 2/3 in the morning then tries to sleep. DD shouting, banging doors, phoning & messaging me on weekends as well as work days because of only me snoring in the house is my fault and makes me selfish for my snoring keeping her up when I am the one getting up for work at 630? My DH sleeps room next to her and he snores badly is not a reason that it could very well be him snoring?

OP posts:

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 19/04/2025 08:37

You get to an age when you're grateful that your partner is snoring - reassures you that they are still alive. 🙄

Middleofthetown · 19/04/2025 08:36

ML5 · 19/04/2025 08:28

As I said my DH sleeps next door to DD and he badly snores as well - as I sleep downstairs I said I was confused as to how DD can only hear me

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And are you less confused now posters have told you it’s because of the way sound travels?

JoshLymanSwagger · 19/04/2025 08:35

Wallywobbles · 19/04/2025 01:41

As she’s an adult there seems to be a simple solution. When she’s in her own home she won’t be impacted. In the meantime your house, your snores.

^This.

Plus buy her some earplugs and if she wakes you in the night again by shouting/texting etc, make sure to wake her nice and early with a vacuum cleaner.

Cheeky cow.

Gumbo · 19/04/2025 08:32

Are you sure it's not a family pet? DH thought I snored until I was working away and the snoring continued...it turns out the cat that slept on my legs every night was the culprit...

Smallmercies · 19/04/2025 08:31

Sort your snoring out!! It's antisocial. Stop posting about it and do something constructive. Your poor daughter.

DrummingMousWife · 19/04/2025 08:30

Well she is old enough to move out if is affecting her. I wouldn’t be worrying over it, she has choices

EnterFunnyNameHere · 19/04/2025 08:28

Well, if she doesn't like it she can move out BUT I think you (and your DH) need to speak to the Dr about resolving your respective snoring habits. Snoring can be a symptoms of something more serious, and can also mean the snorer themselves isn't getting enough proper rest, so it needs sorting!

Original poster

ML5 · 19/04/2025 08:28

RampantIvy · 19/04/2025 07:14

If you are waking up several times a night you could have sleep apnoea.

Please go and see your GP.
DH uses a CPAP machine for it and my sleep quality has improved no end.

You haven't answered the questions that people have asked about what you are doing to address your snoring and you don't seem to appreciate just how awful it is for those of us who have had to put up with it.

You think your DD is being selfish, but you are being just as selfish.

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As I said my DH sleeps next door to DD and he badly snores as well - as I sleep downstairs I said I was confused as to how DD can only hear me

OP posts:

MolkosTeenageAngst · 19/04/2025 08:14

She’s 21. Sounds like it’s time for her to move out.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2025 08:06

I feel very sorry for your dd.

And she is right, you are being selfish.

She has told you repeatedly the snoring is an issue and yet rather than do anything about it you are having a tantrum and denying it's an issue.

In answer to your question, yes it's possible. Dh snores like a beast, dd isn't disturbed by it but she is a heavy sleeper. I am a very right sleeper and I can hear him all over the house.

Your room is belo it will echo and reverb around yours and hers

If there is a chimney in both rooms there will be airbricks in the breast and it will carry the sound and amplify it.

Do something abiut your snoring and stop gaslighted your dd.

CatG021024 · 19/04/2025 07:58

What do you want people on mumsnet to tell you? No it's not you, you daughter is wrong/lying?

Sharptonguedwoman · 19/04/2025 07:56

ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:34

I have already said I do believe her that I snore but as my husband badly snores as well and their rooms are next to each other and mine is downstairs I’m confused as to how she can say it’s my snoring that’s affecting her when I have my door closed.

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Sleep clinic and see if you or your husband needs a C Pap machine. In the meantime, sleep somewhere else for a night but don't tell your daughter-see if she notices the difference?

ThatShyRoseViper · 19/04/2025 07:53

Surely the answer is for you and your DH to both address your respective snoring issues. Then you both sleep better and no one disturbs your DD.

Middleofthetown · 19/04/2025 07:48

ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:55

Yes we have wooden flooring throughout the house apart from stairs and I can hear everyone walking around upstairs at night time and as DD bedroom
is directly above mine I also can hear her the most

There’s your answer then. You’ll hear footsteps above you but won’t hear them from the room next door and it’s the same for snoring.
You seem to think closing the door stops sound travelling but that’s not how it works

faerietales · 19/04/2025 07:41

Honestly, your attitude would really irritate me if I were your DD. You’re incredibly dismissive and don’t seem to care how much your snoring impacts her in the slightest.

People are saying about her moving out because she’s 21 - fair enough - but OP’s attitude stinks.