DD says my snoring keeps her up at night but DH and DS say they can’t hear me

Wow there are clearly some very defensive snorers on this thread. Being kept awake by a heavy snorer is absolute torture, and it is selfish to not care about the impact on others. It needs to be checked out.

Being disrespectful, staying up late, etc, is an entirely separate issue that also needs to be addressed.

OP - snoring aside - you have a DD problem which needs to be addressed. It is not appropriate for her to be messaging/calling/blaming you for snoring.

It’s very lovely of you to be concerned for me. I’m glad to reassure you that I sleep exceptionally well and wake up refreshed. DH who sleeps beside me can also report that my breathing is regular and there are no pauses while I hold my breath. No concerns there.

im very happy to push for additional support for anyone including a doctor when it is necessary but I don’t think we do ourselves any favours pushing for more ‘tests’ when it’s so clear that they are unnecessary. If I had any concerns then I would of course ask.

since I sleep well, asking for medical confirmation of what I already know is not a good use of resources, especially when the resources are so urgently required elsewhere.

I love our NHS being free at the point of delivery and am strongly of the opinion that it brings with it a responsibility to not ask unnecessarily.

@ML5 massive squishes for the situation and grief you are getting.

in our home it has often been those in floors above or below that we hear more with regards noise/snoring just due to how sound travels.

that said - I’d start a new thread about your daughters attitude and what to do instead about her. Not working or contributing to the home and being so rude - nope. They need to get a job (which should encourage ‘normal hours of sleep’) or look at moving out/house share etc.

Id also suggest you and husband get health assessments if heavy snorers just to make sure you are both ok. I used to snore quite badly especially if I slept on my back. I’ve lost 4.5 stone since last year and now sleep in my side and very rarely will I snore now and my sleep quality is much better.

It is selfish, but it’s something that needs to be addressed separately (or something that should have been addressed a long time ago).

I am the poster who said noise travels in a straight line.

i am also the poster (amongst many others) who explained the long term effect of brain fatigue which means your DD has stored some memories of the past noise which means op needs to address her snoring otherwise even a slight trigger, will send her off. It’s horrendous. Staying up late could also be a subconscious reaction to dreading to go to sleep knowing what is likely to happen. The relationship is very strained indeed!

I knew someone who snored when they had wine in evening. So they switched to gin. Any dietary changes you can start with?

Why doesn't your DD worked @ML5 ?

Yes of course it’s selfish, but it’s a separate issue. Have you done anything to address the issue of her being noisy all night and not working?

How do they know if you stop breathing if they haven’t checked and tested you? I’d be pushing for better care from your doctor.

And OP, please believe your daughter.

Some people are lighter sleepers than others. Instead of attempting to deflect blame from yourself, why not try and figure out a way to improve the issue? Being kept awake by someone else snoring is hideous. What have you and your husband done to try and lessen the snoring?

You have drop fed your post which is actually about a strained relationship with your daughter who you consider selfish for complaining about your snoring, which you haven't done anything about. And poor communication skills within your family. I genuinely don't know what you want people to advise? Do you want to be vindicated as being without fault? This is not healthy, you need to sort things with your daughter.

Record yourself on a sleep app and ask your husband too as well. You'll soon find out which sound dd hears.

I sympathise with her. I cannot stand the sound of anyone snoring. Thankfully I never have.

So you’re not confused then and understand perfectly well how your daughter can hear you snoring

It’s not your snoring that’s selfish, it’s your attitude that makes you selfish.

Go to the doctor and at least show your DD that you’re trying to do something about it. There’s something really, really grating about a snorer who says “well, it’s not my fault” without any regard for how much it impacts everyone else.

Perhaps call her bluff and if you can, stay awake one night so that if she has a go at you for snoring, you will know it is not you!
Perhaps also chat with her about her plans to get a job, move out, go to bed earlier so that she 1, won't disturb those of you that do work and 2, can get away from your snoring!

Waiting for the AIBU from the neighbours

My sons alarm wakes me up every day but he sleeps through it on the pillow next to him.

It doesn't really matter who it is. Your DD needs either wear earplugs or play white noise.

Of course, long term you can see a Dr or sleep specialist but in the meantime what does she think she'll achieve by calling you. It's not exactly something you can turn on and off.

Your DD sounds disrespectful. No way I'd have my kids telling me off

Not doing anything about your snoring means not caring that YOU wake someone up. Snorers are unbearable.

The time you get up for work has nothing to do with it - you’re keeping her awake and don’t seem remotely interested in trying to do anything about it.

Completely agree.
Why are people being horrible to the OP? She isn’t snoring on purpose!
Her DD is purposely waking her up by phoning her on her mobile etc. Trying to wake someone intentionally is an awful thing to do. AIBU brings out the worst in people with comments like ‘do you know how sound travels’ type comments and ‘you sort your snoring’.
NO! It’s OPs house the DD needs to sort out her attitude to her own DM.
Sorry but I wouldn’t stand for it if my DD was purposely waking me up. Disgraceful behaviour. She’s picking on her DM.

I think she hears your DH but possibly you as well (as you are directly below her) and combined it's probably driving her mad.
Have you tried any of the remedies for snoring to see if that helps. My DH was told it was sleep apnea and had a breathing machine for a while. That might work for you or DH. I will say though that I found his breathing on the machine worse than him snoring. It was so loud and he used to sound like Darth Vader. So I guess that may keep your DD up too.
Have you asked how she knows it's you and not DH?