I don’t like shy children

Why do you dislike children who are precocious?

I'm assuming you refer to intellectual/emotional precocity rather than physical.

Do precocious children make you feel inferior?

I was an academically precocious child and remember how it felt to be bullied, not just by other children, but by their parents too.

I was top of the class in everything, but I was never boastful. In fact, I was shy and often played down my achievements to avoid unpleasant attention.

School was a miserable place for me until I passed the entrance exam for a high-achieving grammar school. Only then - among other girls like me - did I appreciate that being academically ahead of my peers was a gift, not a curse.

I don’t know whether EDI training is a thing for six year olds. Sounds rather like overkill to me.

Who could do with some EDI training?

Glad she’s chatty and outgoing. Lucky her. Shame about the neurodiverse kids. Could do with some EDI training

Yes, I’d be wary to be honest. This kind of attitude and aggression is reminiscent of how school bullies would speak to me, a time I’d rather forget.

Perhaps she is different because you have given her a confidence and security in herself ...well done!

So ‘appropriate’ shyness is class-specific? Right.

Yikes! I’m not shy but i’m not sure i’d want to speak to you either…

There’s so much to dissect with this post of how you seem to perceive how shy or quiet people think. Do you honestly think it’s just a matter of they are refusing to speak? Have you ever struggled with anxiety? Social anxiety? Overthinking? ( clearly not ha)

Do you think a shy person has ever felt suddenly full of stuff to say when they are reminded that they are shy and don’t talk much?

What you are saying is coming across extremely unkindly and showing no empathy. It’s a shame you have so much disdain and ridicule, hope you are more empathetic to others in the real world than you are online behind your screen

Laugh at things I don’t understand…
That’s even funnier than “negative energy” 🤣

This! My husband always says to me I must go round in a world of my own as I very rarely notice other people/what they are doing 😂 , he does say it comes across sometimes as cold/not approachable but think I have just got to the point that I no longer care what strangers or people I barely know think of me anymore

nonsense! You sound like a bit of a bully yourself

Hmm.

Difficult one this.

If shyness is genuine that is OK. Some very sweet, quier and loving children can be very shy and lack confidence.

However several classes of parents especially the Middle Class and Wokes can use shyness for their children's lack of manners, condideration and disrespectfulnrss towards other people

They don't really have that much time for them to be honest to help teach them them.sbout lhemselves and lofe in general

There is so misconception from adults on here regarding what it’s like to be a shy, quiet child. To be an introvert.

My daughter is quiet and reserved and I wouldn’t change her for anything. She is 15 now but when she was younger I was as made to feel that there must be something wrong with her, this was coming from adults I have advocated for her and I’m pleased to say now, even though she still is quiet, she is confident and through he own boundaries has chosen friends who bring her up, and speaks confidently and maturely to adults.

She has also recently been diagnosed with Asperger’s which answered a lot of her behavioural traits.

I think if as an adult, you are unwilling to see that quietness, perceived as shyness is a problem then maybe you have shortcomings in emotional intelligence

It’s not unfriendly vibes, it’s boundaries, which we are all entitled to have

I describe myself as an extroverted introvert so I feel like I have a foot in both camps. I definitely prefer my own company or being in small groups, find big parties overwhelming, get overwhelmed and anxious if I have too many social plans in the diary. But at the same time, I have a job that relies on communication and leadership. My friendships are important to me. I want to participate in hobbies and meet new people. So I essentially fake it till I make it. Most people who know me superficially would describe me as an extrovert.

I make myself go to parties and make small talk with people as I know the party is important to my friend. I know how awkward it feels when you don’t really know anybody so I try to start conversations and include people (which ironically is incredibly draining when faced with someone who wants to be included but as the same time is just giving one word answers - I’m putting a lot of effort to get out of my shell, I don’t have anymore energy to drag you out of yours too). I make myself contribute and take the lead when there’s a group full of people who need coaxing to contribute but have great ideas etc. I just kind of view it as exercise for my personality. I can always make sure I don’t have any other social plans for a few days to recover and reset. But sometimes pushing myself out of my comfort zone (and it’s often the much hated on mumsnet true extroverts who are the most supportive and encouraging at this) has had fantastic results so I keep taking the risk.

This is an interesting post - shyness being both innate and nurtured.

A while ago I read a book called French Children Don’t Throw Food. The author said that there was a rule in France that children had to say a bright, cheerful hello to everyone they met, even if they were shy or didn’t feel like it. In many ways this seems a kindness - knowing what is expected socially.

So OP’s DD might well be justified then, in picking up on unfriendly vibes from shy children?

I dont like children full stop.

It is all about feeling safe really isn’t it. I think those of us who were shy children intuitively know what shy children need to feel more safe and relaxed without fear of judgment. People who accepted us and nurtured us as children would be those adults we loved while others were just judgmental and observational not realising they were part of the problem. I think the fact you were shy OP has probably helped your child become more confident as you knew what she needed. Is shyness to do with nurturing or is it innate? I think it’s a bit of both.

In fact in can be exact opposite of feeling self-important, it can be low esteem or not having the social skills, or not having anything to talk about /or not anything that sounds interesting to others/. Or even not having a loud enough voice to join in the conversations as you are being ignored when you say something.

Your body language and facial expressions probably give it away. I’m quiet and reserved and save my thoughts to people who are likely to listen and understand. Loud gobshite me me me bores with no empathy don’t interest me.

but lol yeah, laugh at things you can’t understand says more about you
👏🏼👍🏼 👌🏽

”negative energy “ lol

Shyness and mind reading?