To think that parents shouldn't do this on behalf of their teens?

People doing favours have every right to be selective in their own interests. Small private businesses don’t owe your dc access to work experience.

My DD would have no problem approaching you, she's very confident.

DS has significant special needs but is great with animals, could do a placement with the help of a support worker.

Would both be welcome OP?

I was a shy, quiet teenager but I went to all the university open days by myself. Travelled there myself, looked around myself, was interviewed myself. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to do anything different. Probably because in the 70s/80s children were used to opening the door in the morning and going out and only coming back when they were hungry. So we naturally learnt independence and coping skills.

Now children learn parents organise everything for them, even their time through play dates and activities. So children have learnt dependence. If a child has reached 17/18 and can’t manage a university open day by themself, then something has gone very wrong.

That's not really the point.

A poorly written email from the person seeking work would always be preferred over the beautifully written email from their parent.

This. I am shocked that there are parents who do this. I am 50 and there has been a complete change in attitude to children since my youth. Children and young people are now seen as utterly incapable with adults arranging every part of their life. Now wonder there is such a mental health crisis in young people.

Since my children could talk I was encouraging them to ask for things for themselves. They are both naturally shy but I stuck at it as the job of parents is to help children learn how to do things despite being anxious or shy. How else can you learn to live successfully with an anxious or shy personality? ( and I should know, I have one too!)

YANBU.

I’m a small employer in an industry that finds it hard to recruit. I believe quite strongly it can be a fab job for some people so work with the local college to offer work experience. I’m actually quite worried about where society is heading. In the last 10 years the quality of the applications has gone downhill significantly. Students think it’s acceptable to send a WhatsApp message saying “when can I start” and appear horrified when I interview them. This isn’t a one off, it’s fairly regular. I now don’t even look at an application that comes from a parent. These are 17-18 year olds. There are ways as a parent of supporting teens with additional needs. We have one recently who when she came to the interview was dropped off by her mum. The Mum asked for a quick word when they knocked on the door and said she’d like to just make me aware of an additional need. She was hoping the daughter would tell me herself but if she didn’t felt it was important I knew.

It costs me money. A lot of time and effort to offer this work experience and the least the students can do is ask for it politely themselves.

As a parent, one thing you can teach your child that will put them head and shoulders above the rest is to make eye contact, smile, shake hands and have manners.

You’d have to be pretty stupid and naive to believe parents aren’t helping their teenagers behind the scenes regardless of how they first present.

Although, for a dog grooming placement I would not expect the STEM students to be clamouring to impress you either.

Why can’t the parents supervise and support their teen in sending the emails themselves?

Surely that means checking over responses on matters like health and safety etc. it doesn’t mean the parent has to be the one applying for the jobs?!

OP I think you’re being incredibly thoughtful and kind about this. Ultimately you’re a private business, you don’t have to deal with these requests at all, the only reason to do so is if there’s something in it for you.

I think part of what we’re seeing on the thread and in real life is people forgetting that you’re doing them a favour. It’s a common phenomenon that the moment you offer something ‘over and above’ people start to take it for granted, treat it as a public service and make excessive demands.

Just wanted to say thank you for providing any work experience at all, as so many don't, and don't even reply. My DD is studying animal care has done work experience at a groomers amongst other places. Finding placements for animal experience is difficult, many places only take over 18s.

I'm guessing you think this is super easy and that therefore, OP IS getting lots of lovely free labour?

Which actually shows a lot of naivete if that's what you think.

OP has to be sure of this child's safety. So she has to select the right dogs. The person whose dog it is still expects a certain level of service and as someone who has tried to get her DC to brush and groom the pets, I can assure you that the chances that the WE person does it well upfront are pretty low. She wil have to keep a very close eye on both the dog and the placee.

Surely you can see this?

Maybe if she ran a cleaning business she could confidently leave the child alone to mop or vacuum, but she' dstill need to check that it was done to the right standard etc etc.

The OP was talking about washing and brushing dogs.

@DoctorDoctor I think this is unfair. Those first university open days are a really daunting experience for teenagers. My DS was barely 17 when we started the open days, and he was like a rabbit in the headlights. It’s a lot for teens to take in, so it’s no wonder the parents often ask questions. He’s fine now of course, in his second year.

Do you really only want over-confident precocious kids at university?

@Dizzly
Also you are not understanding the "contract" of work experience..
I understand it completely. I have more than one DC so been through the process more than once.

But how would a form automatically help children with additional needs?
You'd be hiring based on more than did the email come from the child’s account and did I personally like what was said, regardless of whether they wrote & sent it or mummy faked it. You would not be binning the honest applicants where the email came from a parent because the child needs some social support to do the email and likely complete the form.

However, short of replying and asking why the parent has emailed and not the child (which as you have rightly pointed out, is not my place to do)

I never said that.

I feel like you are deliberately trying to make me out to be some sort of monster and I really don't think I am

I don’t think you are a monster, you seem to be mistaking my criticism of your hiring process for a personal attack. You asked directly if anyone thought you were being unreasonable for using this hiring practice. Don’t ask the question if you aren’t prepared to hear criticism of it.

I have VERY few placements to give, but I am very keen to offer placements to children like my son, if I know, I know how discrimination feels, he has experienced it his whole life.

This is great to read, perhaps after thinking about how you would feel if it were your son trying to get a work placement or pt job and you had to fake the initial email to look as if he had done it or he would be automatically eliminated from consideration…how would it make him feel to know that you helping him is a shameful thing that has to be lied about?

@Gazelda my DC's school has stopped even running a work experience week. I reckon it just got too hard for students to find somewhere. The "leafier" comp up the road still does it - I imagine parents have more connections they can flex and perhaps can help their DC more. It's just really hard to find these days. The lack of replies for your DD must be so frustrating. We had a good hit rate with care homes. Less glamorous than some other sectors but 16 year olds aren't allowed to do any personal care, it's a quiet environment, often welcoming and not fast paced.

@crackofdoom advice from my DC's (other) school was keep the approach email very short so as not to take up too much of the recipient's time. So no they're definitely not all like that! Good to hear that either approach can work though, well done to him. There is never one rule to suit all.

@LoremIpsumCici I think you've misrepresented OP and are way off the mark. Also you are not understanding the "contract" of work experience, which starts with the people asking for the massive favour to be extremely polite and considerate to the person of whom they are asking said massive favour. My son has a 1:1 at school. Work experience needs to look different for him to meet his needs. It needs a much more politic approach from me than sending scattergun emails neglecting to mention his needs then crying discrimination.

I am not convinced any work placements of the sort we're talking about here involve any real benefit for the business beyond feeling good they are helping their local community. It takes time and effort to figure out what these teens will do during this time, time and effort ot prepare for it and to then offer them the training etc. And that assumes they're all highly competent who will pick it up quickly.

No. This type of placement costs money and takes time. It is in no way free labour. It IS doing something good for a young person but she is a sole trader, not bloody Amazon. The time she takes teaching these young people comes out of the money she takes home. Plus, she is actually willing to do it, the majority of micro businesses are not! Good god, what do people want? All she is asking is that young people apply for themselves rather than their parents!??!