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Original poster

‘D’ H really upset me regarding wedding pics and not looking the like the same person anymore

139 replies

oilump · 18/04/2025 18:26

I’m not sure if I’m being sensitive here but just visiting my parents with my H and kids and my H picked up our wedding album.

I did immediately think, ah why look at it now.

he said to my DD, come and look at when mummy ‘ was ‘ a princess. He then looked up and said ‘ emphasis on ‘ was ‘’.. and did a nasty little laugh. I let it go.

then he was looking at the pics and my dad came by and he said ‘ who is this woman in these pics, I don’t recognise her ? ‘ and laughed. He said it a few times.

I lost him and told him to F off and took the book out of his hands.

he knows how much I struggle with how my body has changed after two kids. He knows how much I’m fighting to look like myself again. He knows how much it hurts every single day and how much I hate myself.

is this really something to laugh about in front of my family ?

I just feel like it’s a massive betrayal.

OP posts:
Thelaundryfairyhasbeenassassinated · 18/04/2025 18:47

You grew him babies and this is the thanks you receive. Your body is wonderful OP. Don't allow this man to make you feel ashamed.

Your father and husband sound awful. No wonder you feel so awful about yourself.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 18/04/2025 18:46

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Spectacularly missing the point of the thread and not all bodies are created equally. Lots of women's bodies are changed by carrying and birthing two children. Jabs aren't the answer to everything.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/04/2025 18:45

‘Cruel’ is not an adjective you should ever need to use about your husband.

Lyannaa · 18/04/2025 18:45

He sounds horrible. I suppose he is nothing less than the Adonis he was when you met?!

I’d be trying to give him a taste of his own medicine.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/04/2025 18:44

I’d tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever speaks to me like that again the wedding album will become obsolete.

harriethoyle · 18/04/2025 18:44

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I mean you’re not wrong but way to miss the point and stick the boot in 🙄

noworklifebalance · 18/04/2025 18:44

Wow @oilump - those were nasty nasty comments. Utterly spiteful and said to hurt you. I don’t think I could get past it.

Original poster
oilump · 18/04/2025 18:43

CSectionUncertainty · 18/04/2025 18:41

It’s interesting that you were worried about his intentions when he picked up the album - if he’s normally nice then what made you feel afraid about what he might say? Sounds like he can actually be cruel as otherwise you wouldn’t have suspected anything?

I agree. He can be cruel about how many things I don’t want to do because I hate myself so much. But he’s not usually cruel about how I look if that makes sense ?

he thinks I’m ridiculous and too hung up on my looks.

OP posts:
BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/04/2025 18:43

Sorry, OP, I just saw you told him to fuck off. I hope he’s apologised.

WhereAreWeNow · 18/04/2025 18:42

How horrible. Can you discuss it with him OP? It sounds like he was trying to hurt you.

AlertCat · 18/04/2025 18:42

Sorry, @oilump i got distracted by more knobbish comments on the thread!

If he knows how unhappy you are, it was a knobbish thing to say. Is he still looking the same as he did seven years ago? Is it ok for you to mock him about stuff he finds difficult? No? Then why would he think this comment is ok for you to make? Really when you think, is it out of character for him? In which case he should explain himself and apologise! And if it isn’t, maybe you need to believe him as he is telling you what he’s like.

Original poster
oilump · 18/04/2025 18:42

BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/04/2025 18:41

Are you going to let him get away with it? I’d be ripping him a new arsehole for that.

What should I do ? My dad took him out because I was so angry.

OP posts:
ShouldIEvenBother · 18/04/2025 18:42

oilump · 18/04/2025 18:40

I know ! That’s why I am so ashamed. I’ve tried everything. I am on ozempic and have lost a lot of weight. I’m really really working on it.

I am trying so fucking hard.

Show quote history

You're not the one who should be ashamed. He is.

This is clear as anything to any reasonable person OP. 💐

CSectionUncertainty · 18/04/2025 18:41

It’s interesting that you were worried about his intentions when he picked up the album - if he’s normally nice then what made you feel afraid about what he might say? Sounds like he can actually be cruel as otherwise you wouldn’t have suspected anything?

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 18/04/2025 18:41

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Tell me you’ve never had kids without telling me you’ve never had kids.
DFOD.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/04/2025 18:41

Are you going to let him get away with it? I’d be ripping him a new arsehole for that.

Original poster
oilump · 18/04/2025 18:40

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I know ! That’s why I am so ashamed. I’ve tried everything. I am on ozempic and have lost a lot of weight. I’m really really working on it.

I am trying so fucking hard.

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 18/04/2025 18:39

Has he looked in the mirror recently?

ShouldIEvenBother · 18/04/2025 18:39

Watch out OP - you say "He never ever says stuff like this"... until now. Is this the start of him trying to grind you down until your self-esteem is in barely visible tatters? Why? Please keep your wits about you. Have there been any other changes in his behaviour?

AlertCat · 18/04/2025 18:39

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Oh fuck off. My baby moved a rib or two out of position and they’ve never gone back. My abdominal muscles no longer meet in the middle. Of course having a baby changes your body!

Original poster
oilump · 18/04/2025 18:38

like I said, I’m really surprised because he wouldn’t usually say this kind of thing.

the only thing I was thinking when he picked it up- was - if I tell him to leave it, he’ll say how pathetic and sad it is that I don’t even want to look at our wedding album.

so I thought to myself, stay cool. He’s not going to say anything nasty. Don’t tell him not to look at him because that’s when he’ll say something nasty.

he then kept saying how his hair has changed etc too and it wasn’t a big deal. But he’d laid his bed by that point.

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 18/04/2025 18:37

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Hankunamatata · 18/04/2025 18:36

Well he is an ass

terracelane23 · 18/04/2025 18:36

What a hurtful thing to say.

interestedwhy · 18/04/2025 18:36

You have the wrong DH OP - a decent one wouldn’t have said that . Sending you a massive hug . You deserve better .