Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband- is this normal a joke?

53 replies

Drainplug · 18/04/2025 17:59

Been on holiday with DH- there was a plug in the bathroom- one of those push in ones (you don’t take out ) and you flick it to release the water.

Every day DH would take the plug out - no idea why?? It was filthy - unsure why he did this but he left it every day.

Any way last day of holiday I asked who was doing it. No one said who it was. (obviously DH, kids are too young)

Anyway- that night I went to bed- and DH had put it in my eye mask - the dirty plug in my eye mask I wear every night. I asked why and he said it was funny. And was a joke and I couldn’t take a joke-

is this funny?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
neilyoungismyhero · 21/04/2025 18:38

Maybe you unintentionally made him feel like a plonker for removing the plug every night so he thought he'd play a nasty joke to even his score....some men never grow up.

SiobhanSharpe · 21/04/2025 18:33

Nasty little shit. I’d seriously be considering putting the said plug in his breakfast cereal and pouring over the milk to cover. (But I am vengeful.)
See if he thinks that’s funny.
Childish, I know… but the biter bit etc.

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 23:18

Can I just bump this thread for @Drainplug

the husband behaviour is so insidious, would you be willing to support her and acknowledge your concern and support, for her?

eta; punctuation

TomatoSandwiches · 18/04/2025 20:14

It's only funny if you are immature and hate the person you've done this to.

That's why he thinks it's funny, because he doesn't like you.

Comedycook · 18/04/2025 19:50

It's deranged behaviour.... definitely abusive imo.

Like he's getting a kick out of it. Sick.

Tiegs · 18/04/2025 19:49

skinnyoptionsonly · 18/04/2025 18:02

hes an abusive twat. Expect him to get worse now he’s shown his colours

Wouldn’t say that’s abuse at all that’s a bit extreme for you to say . Unkind and not funny yes for sure ….abuse No

Katemax82 · 18/04/2025 19:47

People who say you can't take a joke are basically school bullies who never grew up. Put a dog shit in something he uses every day then act the same

Katemax82 · 18/04/2025 19:47

People who say you can't take a joke are basically school bullies who never grew up. Put a dog shit in something he uses every day then act the same

Hankunamatata · 18/04/2025 19:38

F-ing grim. Id be beyond furious

Darkclothes · 18/04/2025 19:36

Sherry1978 · 18/04/2025 19:32

You married a man-child.

NO- she married a child!

Sherry1978 · 18/04/2025 19:32

You married a man-child.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/04/2025 19:14

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 19:03

@PeggyMitchellsCameo it is BEYOND eye health (albeit, that is obviously important)

It's about the total disrespect of @Drainplug.

@Drainplug he has shown you who he is, be on your guard and assertive 🌼

Agree. It just jumped at me because I’ve had to learn so much about eye care.
Apart from that it’s abusive and sinister.

nomas · 18/04/2025 19:05

He’s a psychopath OP.

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 19:03

@PeggyMitchellsCameo it is BEYOND eye health (albeit, that is obviously important)

It's about the total disrespect of @Drainplug.

@Drainplug he has shown you who he is, be on your guard and assertive 🌼

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/04/2025 18:55

I think it’s beyond unkind.
Putting someone’s eye health at risk is abusive.
Letting OP find it in her eye mask and then having a pop for her not finding it funny is gaslighting.
If you’ve ever had a horrible eye infection, once you get one they can be hard to fight off.
Your eyes are so precious. And I’m not being precious I’ve worked in eye care, and any ophthalmologist would go nuclear if a patient told them this. Sometimes we do open our eyes when asleep.
He is a sinister little shit.
I couldn’t let someone like that within a foot of me after that.

MissyB1 · 18/04/2025 18:53

So he's either being really spiteful, or he's developed a neurological illness, or an acute mental health issue. I'm not being sarky I'm actually wondering if he's displayed any other bizarre behaviours recently? Because this is really off the wall weirdness.

parietal · 18/04/2025 18:53

He should be apologetic and should buy you a new eye mask.

Imadeamistak · 18/04/2025 18:53

Drainplug · 18/04/2025 18:48

How so… my husband thinks the same

Show quote history

It is abusive. Please focus on the vast majority of comments saying the same.

The whole “it was just a joke” act following doing something disgusting or offensive is a common method of gaslighting. He is minimising his poor behaviour and trying to act like you’re the problem.

elliementalhealth.com/how-to-identify-gaslighting-10-phrases-to-listen-for/

arcticpandas · 18/04/2025 18:52

What a twat. Is he 14?

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 18:51

Drainplug · 18/04/2025 18:48

How so… my husband thinks the same

Show quote history

it IS abusive @Drainplug DO NOT doubt yourself

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 18:49

MissJoGrant · 18/04/2025 18:46

It's not abusive.

Show quote history

you are incorrect @MissJoGrant

Original poster
Drainplug · 18/04/2025 18:48

MissJoGrant · 18/04/2025 18:46

It's not abusive.

Show quote history

How so… my husband thinks the same

OP posts:
MissJoGrant · 18/04/2025 18:46

skinnyoptionsonly · 18/04/2025 18:02

hes an abusive twat. Expect him to get worse now he’s shown his colours

It's not abusive.

Imadeamistak · 18/04/2025 18:44

Drainplug · 18/04/2025 18:21

I agree- he said I have no sense of humour and he had no malicious intent. I think it’s bizarre - what else intent was there

This is weird and abusive. Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and accept he has a strange sense of humour and genuinely thought you’d find it funny, he should’ve just apologised immediately once you’d expressed to him that you don’t like it.

People who play or make jokes like that on others, but then insist they must find it funny or they have no sense of humour, are usually deeply unpleasant and selfish.

Tbh it doesn’t sound as if he likes you, he is masking his dislike or contempt of you as a “joke”. Have you had any other issues in your marriage lately?

beetr00 · 18/04/2025 18:41

@Drainplug it's passive aggressive and definitely no joke 😢

Swipe left for the next trending thread