Just found out I’m pregnant..

I think you should keep the baby.

maybe if you never wanted children, abortion would be a more obvious choice but you do want a baby one day and this could be the day. You could make it work

I would also say go for it!

1. Your partner needs to start looking for better paid jobs now

2. Move to a cheaper area

3. Reduce your outgoings. Buy secondhand baby bits, you can find so many nearly new bits on marketplace.

the op didn’t say he’s uninterested in becoming a father. She said the opposite, that they are emotionally ready but not situationally ready.

I wouldn’t have an abortion if I wanted the baby (and I’ve had an abortion). You will cope. You may be entitled to UC so please check that too.

@Girltoddler

We’re all entitled to our opinions. OP is a 20-something unmarried renter with a low paid job and a boyfriend who is uninterested in becoming a father right now. It’s not a good situation for creating a new human being in and doing so likely would stunt her socio-economic mobility. Those are facts.

Millions of women abort and have zero problem conceiving when they are ready to. People who scaremonger women about potential fertility issues are reprehensible.

This is a disgusting thing to say. OP clearly wants the baby but her boyfriend (and you) are encouraging an abortion. Women should only abort if they have don’t have any doubts. OP has a home and a good job so her and her boyfriend can afford a baby.

What if OP aborts and then her boyfriend keeps saying he wants a baby ‘eventually’ and then she’s in her mid-late 30s and he finally says he doesn’t want children and it’s too late for OP.

How much is your rent, do you have to live in that area?

Whatever you decide, don’t take for granted that this means that you will conceive easily in the future.

Your wage isn’t awful.
Can either of you look for either a better paid job and/or cheaper housing (maybe moving area)?

I would terminate no question rather than derail the rest of my life.
Our bodies were not designed to carry every fertilized egg to fruition. A relatively few ever become human beings.

Mine is a toddler now but we were younger than you and on a similar combined salary. You’ll be fine! You’re not young parents and your salaries are fine.

Yes it's loads. We live off much less and don't struggle.

Same, got 4, and family income is nowhere near £62k. We are not struggling.

Just to say that it’s not “just cells” to everyone. No problem if you think that but to a lot of people abortion is a very personal decision based on very personal feelings. I in no way judge anyone that has one and I am glad we live in a place where it is available to those who choose to have one (especially considering all that is happening in the US at the moment) but I could never ever have one unless of rape or mother life or baby life issues. OP what are your feelings on it as this will be a big consideration as to what you want to do.

There’s never a right time. And you never feel like you earn enough money, or have enough space. A new baby doesn’t need much, and most of it is available cheap or free on Vinted or local Facebook mums’ groups. You need to write down all of your expenses, look at moving out of your expensive area. I would be working a second job to put money away to bolster the family earnings when you’re on maternity leave, your partner should too. Statutory mat pay isn’t nothing- it’s nearly £200 a week, so you need to sit down and work out how much you need to be putting away to make up to how much you need. Look at costs of nursery, when you’d be eligible for free hours and consider whether you’d return to work full time or not. There’s a lot to consider but it’s not black and white, so don’t make any rash decisions.

Do people really think 62k is loads of money? Are people forgetting:

You get taxed, national insurance, pension and student debt deductions. So take home is significantly less.

Then there are parts of the country where rents are £1200 - £1600 per month on a 1 bed flat. So take that out the salary.

Then nursery costs for full time nursery can be £1.2K to £1.6K per month.

They'll get zero help in benefits due to their salary.

They can't afford to 'drop a day' each because they'll still get no government help so and then has less money coming in on a really tight budget so could even be in minus.

I think people live in bubbles of their own personal situations sometimes so can't comprehend other circumstances when it comes to finances.

I remember my friend years ago saying I must be well off because I was on 35K a year at the time. When my take home was actually £2.1K per month. She worked on minimum wage part time with 2 kids and her top up benefits actually brought her to around £2.5K per month. So she actually took home a lot more than me. But if you'd asked her she'd say 'wow I earn way less than that! I'd love to earn what you do! I'd be so comfortable!'. When in reality she not only earned what I did but more.

Similar happened to me. Firstly, one bed doesn't matter for now. My close friends (also living in London) live in a one bed and are about to have their 2nd. The baby is in with you for the first 6 months anyway and I still have my 2 year old in with me because we cosleep and I want her close.

Secondly, I've found when you have a reason and determination to save you can. I was always saying I could never save anything and then when I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks (having been told it wouldn't happen for us naturally) I was somehow able to save 7 grand over my pregnancy by cutting out all the luxury stuff - take away coffees, nights out, streaming subscriptions etc. It all added up.

Thirdly, babies don't have to cost as much as you think (they do get expensive when they hit the toddler stage though). So many people give baby clothes bundles away for 1 or 2 pounds on vinted or for free (check your local Facebook pages). If you know anyone with children everyone is desperate to give their old stuff away to get it out of their house.

All that being said, I'm not you and only you can make this decision as you're the one who has to sit with it and live with it. Good luck with whatever you choose.

He said it’s also positive that it’s given us motivation to save money for the future as we know this is what we want.

Kindly, how is he planning to save money if you live paycheck by paycheck?

Is he saying that he is prepared to make sacrifices for a future 'hypothetical' baby but not for a 'real' one? His arguments do not make much sense, OP.

Both my mum and dh’s parents would have given us money in that situation without doubt. And I would give either of my dc’s money as well.

I don't want to sway your decision either way but this is very naïve
Partner says I should see it as a positive as we are able to have kids

I miscarried at 7 weeks and someone in the medical profession said something similar to me; except it's never happened again. Just because you've got pregnant once it's not a given you will again.

You can't cope with 1 baby on 62k?! I think this whole we aren't ready financially is nonsense. If you want to keep the baby you have plenty of money. And babies don't take up much space a 1 bed is fine for now.

In London it would be hard on that. Especially as maternity pay is only 9 weeks. Then it would be much lower than 62k

I couldn’t terminate a pregnancy that was the wrong time, there is never a right time.

TBF, housing costs vary widely depending on area, generation and access to deposit money or affordable housing. You really can’t judge someone’s financial position by simply looking at their net or gross income.

It is never the right time to have a baby. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans; having a baby is that life.

You do what you want ultimately, but as pp have said, you may not be able to conceive again. I had an abortion aged 21 and since then have had ten miscarriages. Also two healthy pregnancies, but it's been a long road

We don't earn anywhere near what you do. I was a teacher and my maternity pay was no better than yours (private school, they do what they want, contract-wise). ETA this is the reality of being a woman. We struggle to climb the greasy pole and then put off motherhood to avoid slipping back down.

If I had waited for the right time, I would still be waiting. I'm 41 now.

If you're with the right man and you love him, have the baby.