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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parents come to stay, but then bugger off out

204 replies

Lovemelovemydogz · 18/04/2025 16:28

Would this bother you.

See my parents maybe 3 x per year, due to distance. My Dc had a party today, so Dh took her so I could stay home with my parents, who then proceeded to go out for a two hour walk, so i’m sat in the house alone, when I could’ve gone to the party and caught up with friends.
It’s the same if we decide to have a day at home if Dd is tired, they go out and don’t really spend time with us.

Aibu to be a bit put out by it?

OP posts:
FortyElephants · 18/04/2025 19:09

nomas · 18/04/2025 17:54

Because it’s a series OP’s mum wanted to watch too. It’s no crime to be in your PJs on a rainy bank holiday.

Why are you so rigid?

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There are lots of TV series I might want to watch but not in the middle of the day in my pyjamas.

nomas · 18/04/2025 19:03

FortyElephants · 18/04/2025 19:01

Spending a day at home - not going out anywhere at all - is horrible and not what most people would enjoy.

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Why? We pay thousands every year to live in our homes, whether it be rent or mortgage, why can’t people enjoy a day at home if they want to?

It must be pretty nice at OP’s if her parents turn up 3 x a year for 2 weeks!

FortyElephants · 18/04/2025 19:01

nomas · 18/04/2025 17:24

She clearly says ‘It’s the same if we decide to have a day at home if Dd is tired, they go out and don’t really spend time with us.’

So it’s a repeated occurrence.

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Spending a day at home - not going out anywhere at all - is horrible and not what most people would enjoy.

FortyElephants · 18/04/2025 19:00

Lovemelovemydogz · 18/04/2025 17:17

Why? What would your thinking be?

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Relaxing watching TV in the middle of the day is boring and oppressive. I would have gone out too, if you were showing no signs of getting dressed and wanting to go out.

PuppyMonkey · 18/04/2025 18:58

Watching telly during the day? On Good Friday? In your pyjamas? Shame on you OP. Grin

can I come and visit you?

nomas · 18/04/2025 18:46

CanYouTurnItDown · 18/04/2025 18:42

Did you not say ‘give me 5 minutes to get dressed and I’ll come with you’

Doesn’t sound like OP was given the chance, the mum just abandoned the series she had supposedly been waiting for and walked out.

CanYouTurnItDown · 18/04/2025 18:42

Did you not say ‘give me 5 minutes to get dressed and I’ll come with you’

diddl · 18/04/2025 18:35

QueefQueen80s · 18/04/2025 18:29

I think that’s what most people do inbetween any outings

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I'm probably odd then.

I rarely put the telly on in the daytime.

faerietales · 18/04/2025 18:35

QueefQueen80s · 18/04/2025 18:29

I think that’s what most people do inbetween any outings

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In your PJ's? Really?

justasking111 · 18/04/2025 18:31

Dad might have been bored, had cabin fever so wanted some fresh air. Your mum accompanied him.

QueefQueen80s · 18/04/2025 18:30

When I stay at anyones house I need daily breaks, especially if it’s a long stay like that. It’s nice they gave you some space. It makes the time you do spend together more pleasant

QueefQueen80s · 18/04/2025 18:29

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

It IS a bit weird to sit watching telly in the daytime when you have guests visiting, even if they are your parents.

I think that’s what most people do inbetween any outings

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

It IS a bit weird to sit watching telly in the daytime when you have guests visiting, even if they are your parents.

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

It IS a bit weird to sit watching telly in the daytime when you have guests visiting, even if they are your parents.

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

It IS a bit weird to sit watching telly in the daytime when you have guests visiting, even if they are your parents.

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:23

It IS a bit weird to sit watching telly in the daytime when you have guests visiting, even if they are your parents.

pizzaHeart · 18/04/2025 18:22

you should have asked at breakfast: “DD has a party today from 2 to 4 pm. DH will take her, it’s 30 minutes drive so we will be without car. Mum and Dad what are you fancy doing while DD is at the party?” And then go from there.

Ayeayeaye25 · 18/04/2025 18:22

What time of day were you still in your PJ’s at? This isn’t really ok unless you are depressed, sick or have imminently given birth etc. I usually get changed into my PJ’s after 6pm if not going out but wouldn’t dream sitting around in PJ’s but then I get changed as soon as I get up to take our dog out.

I wouldn’t want to be sat in the house in front of the TV during the day with no exercise or daylight for hours with you sat in PJ’s. I would be bored and uncomfortable with this.

If it was me I would have got dressed first thing. I would have also said the night before DD has a party tomorrow, normally we all go along but DH has offered to take her so I can spend sometime with you. Would you like to do something in the morning whilst they are out (we can all go for a walk if you fancy, go into town, grab a coffee etc etc.

LuluDelulu · 18/04/2025 18:22

They probably get bored. If I had guests I would have suggested going out myself.

Bearbookagainandagain · 18/04/2025 18:21

My dad and his wife would totally do something like this. I used to be offended, but I don't it's really justified. They spend a lot of time with us already, but if we aren't doing anything in particular they'll do their own thing.

I think the main problem is communicating expectations. You should discuss the plans together and be honest about what you want to do. In this situation I would talked to the about the party and ask what they wanted to do that afternoon. Your 3 going to the party and everyone meeting afterwards for dinner would have been completely fine.

nomas · 18/04/2025 18:20

faerietales · 18/04/2025 18:16

Blimey, you really are quite bonkers!

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For pointing out you keep changing your tune? Thanks!

faerietales · 18/04/2025 18:18

saraclara · 18/04/2025 18:16

You were in your pyjamas on Good Friday afternoon?
No wonder they decided to do something off their own bat. You're hardly enthusiastic company

Exactly. Fair enough if you're sick or on your own, but when you're hosting it's polite to at least make the effort and offer to do something.

faerietales · 18/04/2025 18:16

Teaandtoastserveddaily · 18/04/2025 18:12

So why didn't anyone on either side communicate with each other to establish what everyone wanted/would prefer to do?

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Because that would be sensible.

saraclara · 18/04/2025 18:16

You were in your pyjamas on Good Friday afternoon?
No wonder they decided to do something off their own bat. You're hardly enthusiastic company