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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to write to the house seller?

212 replies

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 10:56

Long story short… we have sold our house but nowhere to buy. We want to stay local and understand the local housing market.
There’s a house we like but it’s out of our price range. We think it’s over-valued (massive development planned next door to the property - probably why owners are selling). The agent it’s on with has a reputation for overvaluing and the vendors are asking way more than local average increase in the 10 years that they’ve owned it. They tried to sell 2 years ago but failed. Since then the asking price has gone up for no obvious reason.
Two weeks ago we offered 18% below asking price and were rejected.
Yesterday we offered 15% below but agent says they are not willing to negotiate.

AIBU unreasonable to contact them, explaining that we love the house, are not trying to take the piss and are hoping they might reconsider?

YES you are BU. It’s their house and they can ask what they like

NO you are not BU. A letter can’t hurt as long as it’s not too bossy/pushy

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
SummerIce · 18/04/2025 12:36

When we were buying our house we were in a bidding war with two other potential buyers. I wrote a letter to the sellers explaining who we were, and how much we wanted their house to raise our family in. They went with us in the end even though we weren’t the highest bidder but they knew we wouldn’t mess them around and genuinely wanted to buy. Our letter swayed them. We were also below asking.

So letters do work, but our circumstances were different as we were one of 3 offers made in a weekend and it was just a question of who has the best offer. In your situation, they’ve made it clear they have no interest in negotiating. You risk annoying them and them deciding there’s no way they’d consider you. I’d let this one go. There will be other houses.

Original poster
ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:35

Swiftie1878 · 18/04/2025 12:31

Well, I wouldn’t write to you so,…
I’m not that rude or entitled.

Show quote history

I have tried to explain - I don’t think opening direct communication is rude or entitled, and that’s all I’m trying to do. I am talking directly with my buyer

OP posts:
Lavenderflower · 18/04/2025 12:33

I personally wouldn't bother. Move on and find another property.

Original poster
ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:32

MolluscMonday · 18/04/2025 12:01

I wouldn’t sell to you at any price if you did this. I would be afraid that your lack of boundaries would continue throughout the process.

Thanks for your response and I understand that most people think it is a bad idea - and I’m grateful for their opinion.
I still don’t understand the people who see me posting on here - or considering writing a note - as an act of aggression. Perhaps I’m just a bit friendlier than some

OP posts:
CantStopMoving · 18/04/2025 12:32

AthWat · 18/04/2025 12:23

As I added in a subsequent post, the seller will have told them not to pass on offers under a certain point, so they are just acting under instruction.

No estate agent would be so stupid as to openly say they were not passing on offers under any other circumstance. They could be fined thousands of pounds and left open to legal action from the seller.

Show quote history

He didn’t as he didn’t think I was being serious and they had just listed it. I doubt he had a formal instruction but maybe he did. I hadn’t seen the property in person. I phoned up to ask to say, look we’ve sold our place, the most we could stretch to is £xxxx amount. We really like the look of it and would like to see it, would they entertain bids of about that much? He just scoffed and went, no they wouldn’t and that was that. Wouldn’t let us go see it. I didn’t pursue any further as the other property came up and they were very eager to have us buy it due to seller having found their property and didn’t want to lose it.

Swiftie1878 · 18/04/2025 12:31

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:29

Noted. Ditto

Show quote history

Well, I wouldn’t write to you so,…
I’m not that rude or entitled.

scotstars · 18/04/2025 12:30

You can't afford it and they have made clear they don't want to negotiate...you don't know why they have listed at that price maybe a relationship breakdown and 1 party not really wanting to sell they are obviously not in a rush either way. I wouldn't send the letter another property could go on with same agent and they won't be rushing to deal with you

Original poster
ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:29

Swiftie1878 · 18/04/2025 12:22

If you wrote me a letter, I’d make sure not to sell to you.

Noted. Ditto

OP posts:
GB81 · 18/04/2025 12:25

You can't afford it, look elsewhere.
The agent doesnt get paid unless they sell the house, so they will be trying to talk the vendor into accepting your offer. What makes you think that you're better at negotiating than the agent?
Just move on.

MalcolmMoo · 18/04/2025 12:25

As the seller I’d be annoyed you had contacted me. The seller has made their position clear via the agent. That’s what agents are for I would y want a buyer to bypass the agent and speak to me directly.

AthWat · 18/04/2025 12:23

CantStopMoving · 18/04/2025 12:20

They definitely didn’t pass it on for me. He scoffed at me and said very clearly they wouldn’t entertain a 20% reduction in price. It was a massively lowball offer so he clearly just thought I was a chancer so not worth even entertaining passing it on.

just so funny as I got a better, bigger, better located house for that money instead about a road away. 15 years later I’m still smug about that! 😂

Show quote history

As I added in a subsequent post, the seller will have told them not to pass on offers under a certain point, so they are just acting under instruction.

No estate agent would be so stupid as to openly say they were not passing on offers under any other circumstance. They could be fined thousands of pounds and left open to legal action from the seller.

Swiftie1878 · 18/04/2025 12:22

If you wrote me a letter, I’d make sure not to sell to you.

mindutopia · 18/04/2025 12:22

I wouldn’t contact the sellers. You’ll just annoy them.

Email the EA to leave your offer on the table, say that you love the property, and highlight how proceedable you are. Then walk away. They’ll come back to you if they get fed up with the lack of viewings and offers if it really is overpriced.

CantStopMoving · 18/04/2025 12:20

AthWat · 18/04/2025 11:58

They really don't do this, at least not very often.

The commission difference is far smaller to an agent than the price difference is to the seller. There's always far more reasons for a seller to reject a low offer than an estate agent, and the consequences of not passing on an offer can be severe.

If the agent doesn't want them to accept an offer all they usually would need to do is pass it on and say "I'd hold out, we will get more", and they achieve the same goal with zero risk.

Show quote history

They definitely didn’t pass it on for me. He scoffed at me and said very clearly they wouldn’t entertain a 20% reduction in price. It was a massively lowball offer so he clearly just thought I was a chancer so not worth even entertaining passing it on.

just so funny as I got a better, bigger, better located house for that money instead about a road away. 15 years later I’m still smug about that! 😂

LoveWine123 · 18/04/2025 12:17

Potsofpetals · 18/04/2025 11:57

This is why society is such a mess. You want something you can’t afford and are going to stamp your feet until you get it.

They have said no. No is a complete sentence. Find something you can afford.

Wow chill a little. She is not doing anything immoral or illegal, she just wants to buy a house! House buying is such an emotional experience and it’s not uncommon for someone to fall in love with a house they could see as their long term family home but to be short on funds. OP hasn’t even done anything yet and asking for opinions. I agree a letter will make them look desperate, but what you are saying is quite rude. And by the way, everybody is responsible for how society is today, including you.

Reprimandme · 18/04/2025 12:17

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Reprimandme · 18/04/2025 12:15

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Ellie56 · 18/04/2025 12:13

Downing4packsofharibo · 18/04/2025 11:01

I think I would just tell the estate agent that you would like to leave your offer on the table. Keep looking elsewhere.

Im about to put a low offer in on a house and this is my plan.

Yes do this.

viques · 18/04/2025 12:13

Will you be cash buyers since you have sold? Tell the agent that, make sure the information is passed on and leave your offer on the table. Then walk away.

And keep looking. In a few years time when you drive past to your new house and see the awful new development, and imagine the years of noise and disruption the locals have endured you will thank your lucky stars the sellers turned you down.

Reprimandme · 18/04/2025 12:13

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Original poster
ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:13

Jabberwok · 18/04/2025 11:59

You have accept 4 facts when buying/selling a house

  1. Some people are fucking stupid
  2. Many people are greedy and see property as an easy way to make money
  3. Estate agents benefit more from an expensive house than a cheap one and will encourage over valuation And
  4. Some people forget this, see a house drop £10k, think they are getting a bargain not realising the house was over valued by £30k

Yes, thank you. I think they’re being greedy but others may not - and they clearly don’t. Either way I’m not going to change their minds

OP posts:
Nerdynerdynerd · 18/04/2025 12:13

What are you hoping the letter does? Evoke sympathy? Persuade them?

We recently sold our house and, being honest, it would just piss me off and make me inclined to go with another offer.

Sometimes likability matters. We had 2 offers of the same amount and we chose the couple we liked best. Liked as in seemed more proactive and friendly than the other couple. They were lovely to deal with.

Id be worried about sob stories coming my way if I received a letter like that.

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/04/2025 12:10

mynameiscalypso · 18/04/2025 11:00

Why would you? They’ve made their position clear. My response would be that if you love the house that much, make us a higher offer.

Indeed! We watch 'A place in the sun' a lot and it always cracks me up when the presenter calls the estate agent and says "Donald and Margorie REALLY love the house..." and then puts forward the offer which is 30% below the asking price.

Original poster
ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:10

Potsofpetals · 18/04/2025 11:57

This is why society is such a mess. You want something you can’t afford and are going to stamp your feet until you get it.

They have said no. No is a complete sentence. Find something you can afford.

Not sure I’m responsible for all of society’s ills but thanks for your response. I just find the system of communication through an agent with their own weird motives really outdated.
Our buyer and I are in constant communication and I was considering opening a similar friendly channel of communication with someone else - that’s all.

OP posts:
backslashruby · 18/04/2025 12:08

Most areas have an agent who puts high valuations on houses and then negotiates hard to get that high price. The fact that the seller has chosen to instruct that particular agent tells you all you need to know. The best way to deal with it is to be polite but detached, make your best offer and leave it on the table.