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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to write to the house seller?

212 replies

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 10:56

Long story short… we have sold our house but nowhere to buy. We want to stay local and understand the local housing market.
There’s a house we like but it’s out of our price range. We think it’s over-valued (massive development planned next door to the property - probably why owners are selling). The agent it’s on with has a reputation for overvaluing and the vendors are asking way more than local average increase in the 10 years that they’ve owned it. They tried to sell 2 years ago but failed. Since then the asking price has gone up for no obvious reason.
Two weeks ago we offered 18% below asking price and were rejected.
Yesterday we offered 15% below but agent says they are not willing to negotiate.

AIBU unreasonable to contact them, explaining that we love the house, are not trying to take the piss and are hoping they might reconsider?

YES you are BU. It’s their house and they can ask what they like

NO you are not BU. A letter can’t hurt as long as it’s not too bossy/pushy

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
rainingsnoring · 18/04/2025 14:47

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 14:15

I have seen Gary Stevenson, amongst other economists, make the prediction. GS said people always react with incredulity because they don't want it to be true!. i thought it sounded far fetched when I first heard the prediction but actually I bought my house in 2003 and the value had more than doubled in the 5 years before I bought it...it then increased in value by 300% in the following 10 years. over all, value quadrupled in 20 years. that is all to say that it is more realistic than it sounds

I've seen GS's predictions but I think he is very wrong on this. In the US, the large investors such as Blackrock, etc have been selling rather than buying in the past couple of years. Prices are heading downwards there too.
Previous decades are not the same as now.

LoobyLott · 18/04/2025 14:46

You could always offer closer to asking, get a very detailed survey (this will cost you some money obviously) and then go back with a list of repairs and updates that will further reduce the price. This is normal anyway in the greater scheme of things. And if you're the person asking for the reductions there's no guarantee the next "buyer" won't b doing the same.

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 14:41

brunettemic · 18/04/2025 14:13

If the agents in question overvalue so many houses they’d never sell and the agent would be out of business. Clearly you therefore don’t understand the local housing market.

I’ve looked. The majority that do sell go for way under asking

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 18/04/2025 14:40

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 11:01

I had a buyer that kept by passing the agent and it was horribly stressful. People employ agents as experts, but also as buffers. You are trampling on all normal boundaries by contacting them directly. It wouldn’t make me more likely to sell to you if you did this.

They don’t have to sell to you. You’ve put out your offer, it’s been rejected. Just because you think it’s right doesn’t make it so.

100% this.

TheAmusedQuail · 18/04/2025 14:36

There is a house up for sale on my street. One of the neighbours who was renting, a builder, wanted to buy it and had an idea how much it was worth. He wanted to do it up himself and move his family into it.

He viewed, listing all the renovations that were needed, and put a low offer in. He'd annoyed the sellers so much, they turned his offer down, saying they wouldn't accept his offer even if he met asking price.

Not everything is about how much you're prepared to pay. Annoy the seller and you'll never own the house, regardless of how much you're prepared to pay.

LoobyLott · 18/04/2025 14:30

You've had a lot of responses. I agree to not send any kind of letter.
It may be that they've mortgaged themselves up to the eyeballs and cannot afford to sell for less than asking. It may be that they have unreasonable expectations about the current market. Some people actually believe a market just goes up and up, rather than up and down.

godmum56 · 18/04/2025 14:28

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 14:15

I have seen Gary Stevenson, amongst other economists, make the prediction. GS said people always react with incredulity because they don't want it to be true!. i thought it sounded far fetched when I first heard the prediction but actually I bought my house in 2003 and the value had more than doubled in the 5 years before I bought it...it then increased in value by 300% in the following 10 years. over all, value quadrupled in 20 years. that is all to say that it is more realistic than it sounds

yup. We bought the house I live in now a little over 30 years ago for around 120,000. Going by what neighbours sell for its now worth about 600,000

ACynicalDad · 18/04/2025 14:23

You have nothing to lose (except pissing off the EA who may be a pain about other houses later), sounds like the chances are tiny but it will mean you don't think what if for the next decade.

Hastentoadd · 18/04/2025 14:23

tryingtobesogood · 18/04/2025 10:59

Go for it, you have nothing to lose

Agree but I think it will probably be ignored

Thesehills · 18/04/2025 14:21

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 11:01

I had a buyer that kept by passing the agent and it was horribly stressful. People employ agents as experts, but also as buffers. You are trampling on all normal boundaries by contacting them directly. It wouldn’t make me more likely to sell to you if you did this.

They don’t have to sell to you. You’ve put out your offer, it’s been rejected. Just because you think it’s right doesn’t make it so.

Exactly this.

godmum56 · 18/04/2025 14:16

Ilady · 18/04/2025 14:11

In your situation I would not contact the couple selling this house. Your offer is on the table. If this couple have over priced their house it's going to be on the market for awhile.
Then if people are aware that say a big housing estate is going to be built near by they may not want to over pay on this house. Some people could be saving for a house and being glad to buy a new house in this area.

I would put together a nice note saying that your looking to buy a house in the area ect and put this into the other house in the area. Sometimes people may want or need to sell a house but may not want to be overly public about this.

If you want to stay in the same area you may need to rent for awhile or perhaps look in other near by areas.

I get these letters about 4 times a year. I bin them.

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 14:15

rainingsnoring · 18/04/2025 13:59

Well whatever they are and whoever has written them, they are clearly wrong unless we have hyperinflation and the value of the currency goes to zero and loaves of breast cost £10,000.
Expecting house prices to rise over the next 5 years in real terms, never mind double makes no sense whatsoever economically.

I have seen Gary Stevenson, amongst other economists, make the prediction. GS said people always react with incredulity because they don't want it to be true!. i thought it sounded far fetched when I first heard the prediction but actually I bought my house in 2003 and the value had more than doubled in the 5 years before I bought it...it then increased in value by 300% in the following 10 years. over all, value quadrupled in 20 years. that is all to say that it is more realistic than it sounds

Bluevelvetsofa · 18/04/2025 14:15

The trouble with house buying/selling, apart from the obvious stressful situation it is, is that it’s a financial transaction, but with a commodity that has emotion in it. People generally love their homes and are upset or annoyed when others don’t feel the same. You can fall in love with a house, but if you don’t have the money to pay for it, you can’t have it.

House prices are expected to be a negotiation, unlike many other purchases, where the price is the price. On this occasion, your price is not their price. If they’re motivated to move, they may reconsider after time when it doesn’t sell. For now though, put your heart aside for this one and keep looking.

godmum56 · 18/04/2025 14:15

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 12:13

Yes, thank you. I think they’re being greedy but others may not - and they clearly don’t. Either way I’m not going to change their minds

why is it greed? Should they not look to get the best deal they can?

Bogginsthe3rd · 18/04/2025 14:14

DailyEnergyCrisis · 18/04/2025 10:59

They have said they are not willing to negotiate with you so you want to force this boundary by sending a letter? Madness. They won’t sell their house to you.

But in this way, they have nothing to lose. Don't be a negative ninny.

brunettemic · 18/04/2025 14:13

If the agents in question overvalue so many houses they’d never sell and the agent would be out of business. Clearly you therefore don’t understand the local housing market.

Ilady · 18/04/2025 14:11

In your situation I would not contact the couple selling this house. Your offer is on the table. If this couple have over priced their house it's going to be on the market for awhile.
Then if people are aware that say a big housing estate is going to be built near by they may not want to over pay on this house. Some people could be saving for a house and being glad to buy a new house in this area.

I would put together a nice note saying that your looking to buy a house in the area ect and put this into the other house in the area. Sometimes people may want or need to sell a house but may not want to be overly public about this.

If you want to stay in the same area you may need to rent for awhile or perhaps look in other near by areas.

rainingsnoring · 18/04/2025 13:59

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 13:57

there are predictions that house values will double in the next 5 years

Well whatever they are and whoever has written them, they are clearly wrong unless we have hyperinflation and the value of the currency goes to zero and loaves of breast cost £10,000.
Expecting house prices to rise over the next 5 years in real terms, never mind double makes no sense whatsoever economically.

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 13:57

rainingsnoring · 18/04/2025 13:54

No, definitely don't do that @ButterMelonCauliflower
From what you have said, it sounds as if these sellers have chosen to over price their house and are getting no interest. It is therefore likely that either they are deluded as to its real market value or have little interest in actually moving. In either circumstance, they are not going to be persuaded by a note.

All you can do is tell them (via their agent) that your offer remains on the table for now and move on. There are or will be other potential homes. Do not appear desperate or keep contacting them as you will annoy them and not be successful (see above!). There are so many sellers who get terribly defensive and offended about lower offers. If you look at how many people are struggling to sell and how many reductions there are on Rightmove currently (there's a thread in the Property section about this now), they may need to alter their attitude. The market has been falling or stagnating at best since 2022 and greater falls are very likely. Therefore move on and don't become fixated on one house and over pay.

there are predictions that house values will double in the next 5 years

dontforgetnow · 18/04/2025 13:56

maybe they just aren't that bothered about selling/moving. maybe if they get the asking price it enables them to do xyz and it's worth it for them, but otherwise they are happy to stay put

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 18/04/2025 13:54

They’re using an estate agent, who will take commission on their sale, because they don’t want to deal with buyers directly.

rainingsnoring · 18/04/2025 13:54

No, definitely don't do that @ButterMelonCauliflower
From what you have said, it sounds as if these sellers have chosen to over price their house and are getting no interest. It is therefore likely that either they are deluded as to its real market value or have little interest in actually moving. In either circumstance, they are not going to be persuaded by a note.

All you can do is tell them (via their agent) that your offer remains on the table for now and move on. There are or will be other potential homes. Do not appear desperate or keep contacting them as you will annoy them and not be successful (see above!). There are so many sellers who get terribly defensive and offended about lower offers. If you look at how many people are struggling to sell and how many reductions there are on Rightmove currently (there's a thread in the Property section about this now), they may need to alter their attitude. The market has been falling or stagnating at best since 2022 and greater falls are very likely. Therefore move on and don't become fixated on one house and over pay.

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 13:53

CantStopMoving · 18/04/2025 12:20

They definitely didn’t pass it on for me. He scoffed at me and said very clearly they wouldn’t entertain a 20% reduction in price. It was a massively lowball offer so he clearly just thought I was a chancer so not worth even entertaining passing it on.

just so funny as I got a better, bigger, better located house for that money instead about a road away. 15 years later I’m still smug about that! 😂

Estate agents don’t always have to pass on offers. Some contracts can specify if the vendor doesn’t want to hear about offers below a certain level.

Thecatandme · 18/04/2025 13:52

My mum died many years back

She lived in a block of flats which were very
popular with those over 60 because of their extremely good position for the town centre and public transport

The first time I went to her flat after she died there was a letter through the door from the owners of the flat above. They offered to buy my mums flat at full market price. The letter explained that the husband had mobility issues and buying my mums flat would make things better for him. No
lift!

As a PS there was a sorry your mum died comment

I wasn’t particularly impressed - because of the speed of the letter and the structure

In the end, though, I reasoned that they were solid buyers because of their situation - and I did understand why they acted as they did. Their timing may have been better though!

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 18/04/2025 13:43

MrsTWH · 18/04/2025 13:22

You’ve now insinuated a couple of times that these people are greedy and just after more money. Well yes, a vendor isn’t a charity and they’re trying to sell their most valuable asset at the best price they can get. If they’re genuinely being “greedy” in vastly overpricing their house, then they won’t get any reasonable offers and they will then have to accept it or take it off the market. I don’t see how a letter from you would change the situation. Would you be being greedy if you were selling your car for 5k and someone knocked on your door and offered you £500 for it, because they needed it to get their children to school but you said no?

When we sold our last house, which was not overpriced, we had a couple try this with us. They offered 150k less than asking price. We declined via the agent. We then received a polite letter saying they loved the house, their friends had bought an identical one round the corner (incidentally for the same price we were asking and ours was extended), they worked hard and were good people and could we please reconsider because they ‘deserved’ our house. But at 150k less than asking, no we couldn’t reconsider. We declined again via agent. We then received a letter calling us evil, greedy cunts, that people like us deserved what was coming to us when we prevented good, hardworking people from getting what they wanted. So I guess it really depends what your ‘friendly’ letter says!! And yes, we sold for asking price and no not to those people 😂

Goodness, they were bonkers! It may be a tiny bit understandable if they knew you were a multimillionaire selling off your 15th 'bolthole'; but what on earth gives them the idea that you aren't also good people, hard-working and deserve a similar-value house - which you can't afford to buy unless you get the proper value for your current house?!