My first wedding AIBU!

Totally agree.

These teens will soon be adult members of the family. They're people...

Id understand if you had many toddlers in the family. That's quite different.

I don't think it's petty to not go if you don't want to. It's not my kind of thing. Very contrived.

They aren’t immediate family.

We had a no kids wedding and we had a good chat before it about the fact that people might not become because of it. We also came to the conclusion that there wasn’t a single person with kids who we’d rather have there with kids than without so we accepted this. I’m sure your nephew has had the same discussion with his wife.

Just go. It's their wedding and their choice. Let them have the day that they want. Ignore whether your niece is also excluded. You're getting too involved in other family members reactions. I don't doubt that your kids are great, but where do they draw the lines.
Personally I think that no children weddings are joyless contrived affairs and inconsiderate of family dynamics, but I wouldn't refuse to go.

It only has to cause issues if the bride and groom don't want to take no for an answer when people decline and make all sorts of assumptions about babysitters. If everyone is mature about it then there shouldn't be any drama.

They didn’t cause issues. A self-absorbed, narrow minded and presumptuous parent caused issues.

Presumably they have a vision perhaps an adult cocktail party type vibe, small venue etc. You had what you wanted at your wedding (no children only immediate) it’s their choice.
I’d suggest a get together for all of u inc kids. It’s not worth falling out over.

They ANBU.Its a party.Its totally normal to have adult only parties this is no different imo.

I agree with child free weddings to a point. But my DD and her cousins are in the same age group and very close, they wouldn't dream of leaving each other out.

It's different for your nephew because of the age gap. But if you are still close I would be gutted he didn't invite his cousins.

You're missing the fact that a lot of these people apparently never leave the house unless invited to the wedding of a close family member, who feels obliged to do so. Can't think why that is.

I’ve been to three weddings in Greece (of Greek natives, not Brits having a destination wedding) that have been 100% child-free.

I understand it’s a shame, they could have at least allowed immediate family older children to stay until like 9pm or something. But it gets hard to draw a line of some children can come and some can’t. Get a babysitter and have a great time celebrating.

What exactly am I supposed to be apologising to you for? I mean, I am not going to, but I'd be interested to know why it is you think you deserve one.

exactly

As someone else has said a wedding isn’t a social skills lesson.

absolutely, feel sad @narcASD, for a millisecond.

This is how your beloved nephew wants to celebrate his marriage.

and just how much do you love your sister?

Because they didn’t invite your child and then she attended.

Oh I can debate the points raised, I quite happy to do so if there is an apology and the points are raised in a respectful manner.

I would say bringing kids to the widest range of situations teaches them at a young age how to interact in an appropriate manner.

And how, precisely, do you know that?

It didn’t cause issues. You clearly caused an issue because entitled.

A couple getting married is not a teaching moment for your child’s social development. How incredibly selfish and entitled that would be.

I think this demonstrates where the OP and other PP's are conflating two issues.

One is about inviting child N&N's to weddings.

One is about inviting child cousins to weddings.

The former is where the OP drew her line - didnt invite her friends DCs or indicate that that she invited any cousins of hers that were under age - so assume not ..... but she is getting pissy when her nephew may well be applying the same 'rules' - and is happy to bother the MoG and huff and flounce to make a point that is baseless in the first place.

Who as a child has been invited to every one of their adult cousins weddings? The age gap must be at least 15 years in this case and the genders opposite so I doubt the nephew has a close personal friendship with the OPs DDs.

Mine was child free, and I had 3 different friends contacted me to ask if their child could be the exception to the rule. Ironically all 3 were the parents of the EXACT children I'd chosen child-free to avoid. Noisy, bratty, indulged children. The parents of the lovely, well behaved children I wouldn't have minded having there weren't rude enough ask and just got babysitters. That spoke volumes.

Why on earth do you think your wants are more important than theirs?

I get why you are disappointed, but think you and your DB should go anyway. its not all about your respective kids. It is not what you or he would do, but its the pair's choice, so suck it up and go and enjoy it. You can't really lay down conditions. What about your relationships with your DSis? Do it for her.

I'm glad you have accepted the consensus. I do agree that you just have to accept that other people marry in a way that suits them and you go or you don't.

Full disclosure however, when my brother didn't invite my child to his wedding, I was thoroughly unimpressed and it caused all sorts of issues. They relented and let her come in the end but it was a horrible situation. There are situations where it seems unwarranted but your nephew and fiancée are doing it in a fair way with consistency.

Not about you, you are being selfish. Either go to THEIR event as per their invite or don't go. This hand wringing over children not being at weddings is ridiculous.

As ever with these threads these things are very nuanced.

if there is a blanket no children rule then honestly I don’t think you have the right to kick up a fuss. I would, in general, agree that it is a bit odd to not want your family here, my sibling got married without my children being there and I complete understood why. (On a school day, only 25 guests, a registry office then lunch and that was it and a variety of other reasons). I was totally on board with that and they would have not enjoyed it anyway.

had my sibling had a massive wedding on a weekend with 150 guests with lots of family then I’d have been very very miffed!

if other children are invited then you would have the right to be upset as well as per another recent thread.

these things are never simple and there is never a one size fits all. Different families and different expectations. I don’t subscribe to the whole idea of it’s the bride and grooms day and that means they can ride roughshod over everyone else’s feelings.

id be interested as to why they don’t want their nearest and dearest at their wedding if there wasn’t a good reason.