DH has given me the ick

Maybe he’s picked up on a vibe from
her or him, or both, that you’ve missed. Just because you don’t want it to be true doesn’t mean it’s not. I don’t think he’s done anything wrong, but you seem to have taken it personally as if you think he’s expressing what he might do in the same situation?

Exactly this. You admit that your DSis’s marriage is not in a great place at the moment. Her friend is also in a precarious and difficult phase going through a breakup. Why tempt fate?

I don’t think your DH said anything wrong. BIL might have mentioned something to him that he wouldn’t say to you, even jokingly.

I really hope the only reason my husband of over twenty year hasn't cheated on me is because he's so very lazy it needs to be delivered to his house like some kind of sexual Deliveroo.You all have very low opinions of the men you choose to spend your lives with.

If the OP had said to her husband that his brother was not as hot as his wife's male friend and thathe should be worried, posters would have no problem calling her awful.

There are only about a million threads on MN where this exact thing has happened.
Your DP might be being overly judgemental of this particular person, but his logic isn't flawed.

The husband said what many people regardless of their sex would think. He didnt say he fancied her, he stated a fact. A woman who cheated on her husband is younger, prettier and clearly morality is not on the menu. It would not be the first time someone ruined their relationship for a fling.

He may have a point … I wouldn’t like my husband making a comment like that either but I guess he’s being realistic in a way because affairs do happen & the guest has already shown she has questionable morals.

"fact" 🙄 There will always be people you find more attractive, but normal men or women don't go ranking humans like that and then telling their partners, that they essentially can't be trusted. Maybe you need a better partner.

That has happened millions of times though.

We visited them a last week and met her colleague for the first time. On the journey back DH said something along the lines of, ‘she (my sister) is asking for trouble. She (her friend) looks much younger, is prettier and licentious (polite way of calling her a slag, I guess). My sister’s DP is a very decent man but I know things have been strained between them.

You didn’t close your quotation marks. If he just said ”she is asking for trouble,” and the rest of the above quotation was OP’s inference, it’s fine. If he used the word licentious in casual converstion I’d have the ick too.

Yes…because THAT’S never happened before!

He could have spotted something or as men speak to each other differently when women aren't around he might know something the two sisters don't.

It's quite funny though that someone would be so offended by someone else "getting the ick" that they would themselves recoil in horror. Which is a far more ridiculous statement, unless they're being sincere, in which case they're a bit deranged.

But you also said things are strained between them and this young women is “licentious” and is literally living with them because she had an affair so you know where her morals lie.

Men rank women. Fact. If a woman sees an attractive man, she will rank him too. Pretending.otherwise is silly. That’s why pop stars and celebs get screamed at and followers.
She should be glad he’s open about what he’s thinking. It’s the ones who pretend not to notice that are a potential problem.

It does often go like this to be fair! The bar is low for many men.

So unnecessarily spiteful.....

Its not all women tho' is it? it is this particular lady who has a confirmed record of sexual betrayal and who is probably in a highly emotional state. I'd be careful and here's what I mean by that; encourage her to be actively seeking permanent accommodation and if I felt something was off with my DH and the house guest I would listen to my instinct rather than brush it off.

Posters on the thread are giving their experience of men.

I think what the OP is concerned about is that her husband is giving his view as a man.

Which is the cause of the ick.

He's saying that he couldn't be trusted and he's already ranked two women, one of whom . matters to the OP on their fuckability.

Yes. Men rarely refuse what’s offered on a plate. They aren’t necessarily emotionally invested. It’s nature..spread the seed etc, hard wired though many will not react like that, for those of you with ‘good ones’ .But it’s a fact of life. Most marriages would not end in divorce if fidelity was a thing

I think that is very realistic. Seen it too many times.

Does your DH know that your sister and her H are having strained relationship? Perhaps your DH sees your sisters partner as a bit of a cad?
I've seen this situation before - seen exchanged glances between a woman that was temporarily lodging at friends house, and the said friends partner. You can guess how it ended.

Your DH is a sensible man OP.

Understanding how cheating can happen goes a long way to prevent it from happening. So many posters on here whose partners have befriended a younger, attractive colleague in distress.......

I find nothing icky about his remark at all. I would have thought and said the same thing.

OPs sister and her husband are already 'strained' though. It's right there in the OP.