Page 5 | To think I can't be the only person who doesn't know a single trans person

VioletSpeedwell · 2025-04-17T21:58:09+00:00

Seriously. The news is full of people worrying about how the SC ruling will affect people who identify as trans. Where are they? Not in my office (large organisation), my family or social groups. I don't come across any in the village where I live or when I go into town. DD is at university and doesn't know any trans people. Surely, I can't be the only one?

MementoMountain · 19/04/2025 12:37

PinkPonyPugClub · 19/04/2025 12:26

I’m amazed how many people are convinced that they can spot every trans person a mile off. 😂

Well, obviously nobody spots anyone they don't spot.

People are mentioning the people they do know to be trans, or who are in the opposite sex facilities, not trying to test everyone they see.

Mostly I know people are trans because I or my kids knew them before transition; or they fathered kids and now go by Rachel; or they may not be trans but are definitely a male with a female name, or a male in the wrong loo, for their own reasons.

PinkPonyPugClub · 19/04/2025 12:26

I’m amazed how many people are convinced that they can spot every trans person a mile off. 😂

flumposie · 19/04/2025 12:23

I have taught numerous secondary age students who are transgender .

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 19/04/2025 12:15

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If you think women believing their rights are not subordinate to men's is transphobic, that says more about you than it does about Mumsnet users.

But thanks for saying the quiet part out loud.

#OperationLetThemSpeak

Annascaul · 19/04/2025 12:15

Ah, ok. I’ll stop feeding it…

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 12:14

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GreenFriedTomato · 19/04/2025 12:12

@Arran2024 exactly. I was friends with a lovely man once. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Super protective of women. He's now doing a life sentence for the rape and murder of several young girls. You never really know anyone.

Arran2024 · 19/04/2025 12:09

We cannot make policy based on people's personal anecdotes. It doesn't matter if any of us knows a trans person or not - those who do know trans people can't extrapolate their one or two personal connections to every trans person, plus people don't necessarily know friends that deeply, never mind acquaintances.

We need to firmly stick to data.

GreenFriedTomato · 19/04/2025 12:09

So putting my rights over the demands of men who want to be women is transphobic?.never heard that definition of transphobia before but if you say so

Annascaul · 19/04/2025 12:09

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Did you understand a single word of @MissScarletInTheBallroom ’s post?
Is it a general difficulty with comprehension of the written word?

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 12:07

Annascaul · 19/04/2025 12:02

For women. Not men.
Doesn’t actually matter what it’s used for, women are entitled to exclude men.
Tough shit.

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I don’t know of your preferences but normally no one comes in the toilet with me - but each to their own I guess

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 12:05

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Swiftie1878 · 19/04/2025 12:03

Ecocool · 17/04/2025 23:09

My neighbour....he was a complete loner in a block of 6 flats. He had a high position in the city council.

I found him in the communal garden dressed up in women's gear (very 60s).

That was 25 years ago. It shook me up but I had no idea really (naive). Was he transgender? What's the difference between transgender and perverted/fetished?

Transvestite?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 19/04/2025 12:02

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:58

its a toilet for goodness sake

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I've had two miscarriages in a public toilet.

Annascaul · 19/04/2025 12:02

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:58

its a toilet for goodness sake

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For women. Not men.
Doesn’t actually matter what it’s used for, women are entitled to exclude men.
Tough shit.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 19/04/2025 11:59

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:57

mumsnet has become a transphobic cess pit.

No, Mumsnet is overwhelmingly populated with people who don't think the rights of people born with penises trump the rights of people born with vaginas.

I have no idea why anyone is shocked by this.

TheKeatingFive · 19/04/2025 11:58

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:57

mumsnet has become a transphobic cess pit.

Is this supposed to be parody? 🤔

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:58

FlakyCritic · 19/04/2025 10:57

@couchparsnip It's the female communal space that give women succour, a place to flee to, to get help from other women, flee men, etc etc. Evidence has repeatedly shown that single cubicle banks put women in great danger.

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its a toilet for goodness sake

Whistonia · 19/04/2025 11:57

mumsnet has become a transphobic cess pit.

FlakyCritic · 19/04/2025 10:57

couchparsnip · 19/04/2025 08:28

My kids are young adults so I know a few trans people through them, plus they are a couple of trans women in the office. It's more common among younger people and less of a big deal for them.

I agree that this isn't impacting our lives. Nothing these people do impacts my life negatively. In fact we now have banks of single cubicle toilets at work, which are brilliant and much better than the shared ladies or gents.

@couchparsnip It's the female communal space that give women succour, a place to flee to, to get help from other women, flee men, etc etc. Evidence has repeatedly shown that single cubicle banks put women in great danger.

Helleofabore · 19/04/2025 10:44

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/04/2025 10:38

There is no dissonance. I was talking about a specific member of my very small, membership-only gym. This person is still male, regardless of whatever surgery, nothing changes that. I was talking of being compassionate to them by not making it awkward for them in the changing room and I would use whatever pronouns accordingly.

We didn't have the judgement then, not much recourse. We do now so the point is moot. This person will need to find another room to change in and not use the women's facilities any longer.

I'm kicking myself for commenting in the first place; this thread feels in very bad faith.

Ok. Thanks for clarifying.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/04/2025 10:38

There is no dissonance. I was talking about a specific member of my very small, membership-only gym. This person is still male, regardless of whatever surgery, nothing changes that. I was talking of being compassionate to them by not making it awkward for them in the changing room and I would use whatever pronouns accordingly.

We didn't have the judgement then, not much recourse. We do now so the point is moot. This person will need to find another room to change in and not use the women's facilities any longer.

I'm kicking myself for commenting in the first place; this thread feels in very bad faith.

Helleofabore · 19/04/2025 10:28

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/04/2025 10:21

I never did think that and I don't think it's what I said either?

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That is why I am asking though.

Because that is how I read:

"I've seen many trans-women, this is the one that I know who has had the surgery and I have compassion for her. I know that she is not a woman but I also know that she would like to be afforded the dignity of being not thought of as a man.'

If you don't like the thought that someone would be thought of as a 'man' what is it that you think that person should be thought of? To me, the only alternative is that they would be a woman.

Do you see the issue? I am trying to work out the dissonance here.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/04/2025 10:21

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 23:42

Why do you think that someone who has had surgery is no longer a man though? What have you read or heard that has led you to form that opinion, if you don't mind me asking?

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I never did think that and I don't think it's what I said either?

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 19/04/2025 09:26

Lostmyusernametoday · 17/04/2025 23:30

Wouldn’t you be flipping that? So circa 1 in 1000 people is trans and the population is highly concentrated in major cities. How on earth have the media convinced everyone you’re in imminent danger from trans women. Hint hint, it’s the patriarchy and awful men who are threats to women!

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it’s the patriarchy and awful men who are threats to women

Yes indeed. And some of those awful men have been ‘identifying as women’, either to get into women-only facilities, or to steal women’s jobs/ awards/ sports prizes. Or to enjoy watching the woman they’ve raped being forced to call them “she” in court. Or to carry out intimate procedures on women who daren’t complain. Etc