To regret moving DP in to my house

Red Flags. Get rid of him. X

@WiddlinDiddlin precisely and this is where the isolation stage of an abusive relationship rears its ugly head.

I said this before but it bears repeating.

These jokey comments where he gets in before you with your friends... these are him testing the water. What can he get away with, will they pull him up on what he says or will they let it go.

It is NOT because he thinks they're jokey/bants types people or because he thinks they think exactly like him. He is pushing boundaries to see exactly what he can and can't say.

I bet if they were to pull him up on it, he'd start objecting to spending time with them, try to stop you seeing them (in subtle ways though). I also bet that these people think he is a prick but are staying quiet as they don't want to upset you.

Ask them - send them a text 'I didn't really like X's joke today about me getting used to living with a man or what he said the other week about not cleaning the toilet because he's a bloke. Tell me honestly, do you think he's a bit of a prick? Am I making a mistake here?'

See what response you get, if they're good friends, they will be honest.

Weaponised incompetence has entered the chat then.

OP I hope you have some good, honest friends. You’re going to need them when you end up having a baby with this idiot.

I’m sorry you think it’s the best you can do and I hope someone manages to snap you out of sleepwalking into such a shit situation.

It has been painful to hear you defending and continuing to want a man who shows disdain for you.

The day a man laughs in your face if you tell him you don’t want to clean his shit stains of a toilet should always, always be the day you break up with him.

Good luck OP, you’re gonna need it.

Remember, for children the blueprint of relationships is the one we as their parents show them. You’d be teaching a boy that it’s ok to expect a woman to be in change of cooking and cleaning because she has a vagina and that any contribution is ‘helping’ her not just pulling your weight. You’d be teaching a girl that she should hold on to a man at any cost, even if he laughs at her for not wanting to clean his excrement and asks what she expects because she’s a woman.

What a depressing vision for the future.

Are you dumb, or desperate?

It’s like the footballer in Blackpool for the stag night thread. It was like pulling teeth.

Oh lord OP I don't know you, I've never met you, but I would bet my own house that you can do better than this cocklodger.

You deserve better than this, this man is treating you terribly and you keep trying to fix it but you can't, because you can't make a relationship by yourself.

Exactly how I’m feeling too. My tween and teen DC are clearly far more capable than OP’s manchild. Helps that they have a dad who respects me and what I do for the household!

Not to mention thick as mince 🙄

It's quite astonishing. So much so that we're all unable to believe it can be real.

The OP'S use of laugh emojis when relating this utter that's behaviour is the worst bit.

Yep and if on the off chance this is real and not a wind up thread, the OP is showing him exactly who she is - a needy, desperate, doormat who will cling on to a man at any cost. He knows he can continue to mug her off with absolutely no consequences.

This is like watching a slow moving car crash. It's making me feel sick, sad and full of despair for how utterly awful your life is about to become, invited by your own hand.

I can't read it any more.

Yes and unfortunately, @JadeySmiles is showing him who she actually is through her deeds - repeatedly giving him another chance, excusing sexist comments etc. I really do hope OP succeeds, he sees the error of his ways and things end happily, but I won't be holding my breath.

Hes showing you who he is with his words. Take heed

Oh Lord. I'm out. Good luck to you, you'll need it.

I actually do believe it, and I’m deeply sad for the op.

I can't decide whether following this thread is more like watching 1000 collective posters banging their heads against a brick wall, or watching someone trapped on an escalator moving up inexorably to meet their inevitable fate. Off out now 😣

I agree and I’m out. I am struggling to believe anybody is this thick and obtuse. It’s embarrassing for a 30 odd year old woman.

My 7 year old noticed the laundry basket was getting full so put on a wash load. I'm feeling pretty smug right now because I appear to be doing a much better job than your future MIL did. Thanks for this thread OP. It's zero help for you because you have no standards, but helping the self efficacy of mothers out there that are doing their bit to raise independent and capable individuals. I just feel sorry for your future children. Hopefully you don't have girls.

He’s cleaning for his friends. Not you.

I do question if this post is for real. The complaining about your food now, the overt sexism, blow job rota (joke), you being almost used to living with a Man now, the outright entitlement to the leaving skid marks. I mean there’s no way this cld have been hidden from the OP, his peers or workmates until now. Is this just a wind up?

You're setting the bar so low he's going to stub his toes on it.

More fool you.

@JadeySmiles you're being manipulated - the external pressure of the parents’ money needing to be allocated o’wise it will be invested elsewhere, the fact that there even is parents’ money is a pressure as not only do you disappoint him you disappoint them , him (as I predicted on the other thread) using him not being an equal in the property as a reason for not pulling his weight, & the now fear that if you ask him to move out temporarily that’s it for your relationship. (If he loved you wouldn’t that prospect of losing you & mucking up everything over his own stupid behaviour be something he’d strive to change?) Not to mention the pressure of what your friends & peers would think, when you’ve both come this far, the fact that meeting someone anyway is so hard & that OLD is so awful & that he also earns sufficiently for your desire for children to make him a suitable future parent (financially speaking). And your clock sounds like it’s ticking.

Please just step back!! You’re being bought by pushy (yes lovely & well to do) parents. They know what kind of man they’ve raised & they expect him to be taken care of in exactly the same way he was raised. This man you thought was a catch is a gilded trap. Money does not make it ok. Any amount (doesn’t have to be loads).

If you do split up that’s on him. On him for being a lazy, arrogant, selfish pig. For expecting you to be his maid. Yes it will look like you’re over reacting over a bit of housework, you’re being full on feminist & a “psycho”. You were fine before he moved in then she went full blown nuts. Yes this narrative is always used to describe women refusing to be bullied into submission. Wld you stand for this treatment in any sphere in your life? If your work expected you to do double the work for less pay than a man in your work? We all know now that the gender gap is not acceptable - even he must do. You don’t need to be a feminist to be aware of that. This is about so much more than having a meltdown over running a duster around or being excessively house proud (as you’ll be called). It’s about the fair division of labour & equal roles in the relationship where having a penis no longer grants him entitlement to a lesser load.

OP, I really don't think Sid the Sexist is going to improve significantly or longterm, you know. Don't waste your life trying to make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

He assures me he is going to start pulling his weight and as soon as we got home he started cleaning, he has done the kitchen and is cleaning the bathroom now

Except if and when you tell him his addition to the mortgage won't be happening any time soon he'll doubtless stop again

Between your house and his parents' money this one sounds too keen on other people's assets for my taste, so he'd be gone - why bother puttting in further effort when he's already shown so clearly what he is?