To regret moving DP in to my house

Did you read the bit where he doesn’t feel comfortable about pulling his weight because he’s not been put on the deeds after two months and is sulking and complaining about OP’s cooking? This prick doesn’t need another chance.

Good God this thread is depressing. You are still banging on about a rota when he has made it abundantly clear he isn't interested in chores or you. He wants a home with full service provided. Where is your self respect. He treats you like a doormat because you act like one.

He will tell you what he thinks you want to hear.

@JadeySmiles a baby and a good man . Do you hear yourself ? Do you hear what others can hear ? You really aren’t listening to the ignorant pig you are with and your aren’t listening to posters . “He is a wrong one “ and he is telling you he is !

He's behaving like a child but I think you're right to give him one more chance OP. If he steps up now, all good. If not you'll know you tried your hardest.

He absolutely isn’t going to pull his own weight. You are waiting for glittery unicorn poo.

He will say all the right things for a bit and then you’ll be back here bemoaning your lot again. If you stay with him, you’ll have kids and he won’t ever lift a finger. Is that REALLY what you want from your life?

Oh please, we understand perfectly.

Manchild has latched onto a homeowner and the bank of mum and dad are going to fund the purchase of his financial interest in the property. He avoids all the work and expense of setting up his first home, it's all done for him, and the property comes with a live in maid. What a smart investor he is.

Do you understand that he will then own 50% of your house which means that if you split up he will take his contribution to the deposit and 50% of the equity, which is fair and reasonable but could you afford to buy him out? If not you will have to sell your house.

The mortgage has absolutely nothing to do with cleaning up after himself. Tell him to take his parents money and buy his own property.

You'll soon find out how much he doesn't love you then.

Oh OP, why would you want a man who you have to talk into pulling his weight? That's just... not sexy. And the fact his reaction wasn't 'yes of course! And enthusiastic' and instead was annoyance? Come on, he's a big child. Even if he did find himself annoyed, a mature adult man would have caught himself and gone 'i am being silly thought, so need to get over myself' and that's not what he did is it...this isn't rocket science or some massive thing you're asking that he needs time to wrap his head around...

Why would you even wait for him to “dump you “?
This is a joke now .
Tell the user to leave !!

Agree!
He isn’t there for the women or even has respect.
He is there for half a house or more !

Just carry on as you are. Have two or three children, get a dog and then come back in a few years and tell us all how it’s going. Good luck.

So when you pointed this out to him, did he?

Nope.

You are making a choice not to listen. To him, or the Mumsnet hive mind.

Good luck with it all, I'm out.

All he said was ‘what about a blow job rota’ 🤮

He seems to be sulking now and has been on his games console in the spare bedroom since dinner, which he criticised and said he’s getting fed up with the same vegan meals. 😶

And he’s the only man you’ve wanted to have kids with? With kindness, maybe raise your standards in men.

And you should not be drawing up a rota or giving him a list of jobs to ‘chip in with’. He’s a man, not a child.

Is this the guy who leaves his own shit in the toilet?

He might, for a while. But look at how much work you are having to put in to get him to shape up and be a basic level decent human being. He's not a project, and if he is, then it's him who should be doing the work, not you. And he isn't. If he was prepared to make the effort he would have done so already. Surely you deserve better than this man child?

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!

OP, I wasn’t going to post as everyone else has said what I was going to say, but the fact that you are STiLL entertaining adding him to your mortgage has prompted me to do so. I know you love him and you are hoping against hope that he is going to step up and then you can have the relationship with him that you want but he isn’t going to. He has been VERY clear about who he is and what he is and isn’t going to do. He has never done his own housework and he isn’t about to start now. You have replaced his mum. Both of you are about to hand him thousands of pounds which he hasn’t earned himself and he is sitting back and letting you both do this. He is laughing all the way to the bank.
the fact that you are dreading your friends asking how it is going is telling as you know how it’s going. Badly. You aren’t sleepwalking into a stupid financial decision you are positively running towards it. Please listen to us all, I understand you’re not ready to end things but please don’t add him to the mortgage. I expect you know he will end things if you don’t which is why you’re hesitating but better to end things now and not be financially screwed over than later down the life and you only have half a house.

This is who he is, he isn't going to change. Rota or no rota.

I am trying to work out what mindset you must be in to think this is a good man.
is he much better looking that you are?
do you have very low self esteem?

He can match your contributions and deposit all he likes. It still won’t protect you. He’ll treat you like his personal housekeeper and sulk if you disagree with him on anything. There are numerous bloody great big waving red flags here and you’re ignoring them all - and the comment about a blow job rota should tell you everything you need to know. He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t take any of this seriously. His behaviour changed as soon as he moved in, you’ve seen it for yourself, and you’d be insane to allow it to continue because the end result will be a split and you’ll lose your home.

Dump and run

he is showing you his true colours.

he will be nice fur a while to get his name on the mortgage. Then he will stop doing housework and revert to who he is.

He’s not the one. Split up now. Sorry OP. It’s hard but you deserve better.

Itherwise you’ll be back on here posting that he owns half the house and doesn’t want to split but you want to leave as you’re exhausted doing all the housework and blow job rota but your capital is in the house so you can’t leave as he won’t sell up his half…..

It’ll happen. Be under no illusions. Take a step back and look from out point of view. You can’t see it as youre too wrapped up in it and desperate for it to work. It won’t he’s not the one.

I’m sorry @JadeySmiles but you’re making your own bloody bed here. The only walk you should be planning is him in the other direction, far far away from your house.

Look forward your threads in 12 months when you’re literally holding the baby and facing the loss of your hard-earned house. WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, WOMAN?

It definitely has to be 50/50. Otherwise, if you have children with him he'd think bringing them up is solely your role too.

When you say his mother is OTT, do you mean she's been spoiling him, as in doing all his housework? My ex husband had a mum like this. Lovely woman. She taught him everything except the most important thing. Independence. He thought housework was women's work. I couldn't change his mindset but spent years trying. It may be difficult to change your partner's mindset if his mum has taught him otherwise.