To regret moving DP in to my house

I actually despair reading threads like these.

She wants to see fir herself. I just hope doesn't impregnate her to tie her down

I see he will be on the walk, my guess is you won’t say that to them. So say, very honestly ‘turns out dp thinks a chore rota should come with a blowjob rota, so we have some settling in to do. And a lot of chores.’

wait for him to try and laugh it off.

The only correct response when you had the discussion with him was - 'God I'm really sorry, you're right I haven't been pulling my weight. Lets draw up a rota now, how about I do x, y and z' .

But no, he wants you to tell him what to do (i.e. be a nag); deflect and talk about a blow job rota and deflect again because he will feel different when he is on the mortgage.

However nice you say your partner is, he certainly isn't emotionally mature. You will waste so much of your life 'nagging' him to do his fair share, you will waste so much of your time thinking of ways to 'just make him understand' what he should be doing. You are not his mother. You don't need to take on a project of trying to change him. Let some other sucker do that. There are plenty of emotionally mature men who can look after a home without all this shit.

@JadeySmiles doesn't know how much a man can lie to get what ge wants. You are going to get a very rude shock once he gets what he wants.

OP. Your boyfriend has two main priorities at the moment. One is to get housing security for himself, easily, conveniently and with no hassle, and, once that is achieved, finish the job off by establishing the same arrangement as he had with his mother, entrenched in his mentality and the whole way he lives his life from the earliest age, just this time with guaranteed sex and as he likes it done.

Whatever he may profess to say, he is too silly, evasive, dishonest, spoilt, self-centered and childish to engage in a loving, mature relationship, and will avoid any meaningful challenge, discussion or issue either by buggering off, or getting petulant, or getting flippant, or getting vindictive, or responding with some bitchy comment, or throwing a red herring back at you such as your cooking. This is not a person you could be married to, still less engage into the lifelong commitment of birthing and bringing up children without getting into a terrible, miserable situation, financially as well of course, and one not at all easily got out of.

For heaven's sake, cut your losses and get him out of your house.

Ewww
dont lie for him op, if your friends ask you say ‘erm… some teething problems actually. He may not actually be staying long if he doesn’t pull his finger out, he seems to have me confused with his mum which is soooo unsexy.’

Yep, me too. Apart from being vile as a stand alone comment, it sends a certain message doesn’t it ? He has no respect for OP and doesn’t take any of her concerns seriously. I’d have moved him back out within the week !!

And he was bold enough to criticise what you'd cooked? Well stop that shit right now, cook for you and let him sort himself out if hes going to be like that. What a twat

A blowjob rota? Jesus fucking christ. My vagina has literally clamped shut. I'd be dumping him for that, let alone anything else

Oh honey....you already are being that silly. A 'blow job rota', is he 17? I'm physically shaking my head reading your updates.

Has he cooked you ANYTHING since he's been there?

Omg this.

What the fuck.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

All this thread has done is remind me to assign some more domestic chores to my (very young) sons!

This with bells on re the mortgage. The end result is that you lose your home.

This sounds more and more like an abusive relationship and he’s in the grinding you down stage. The next is isolation/control and that’s why he wants to be on the mortgage.

I also wasn’t going to reply, but in the hopes pure weight of numbers will help convince you: if he cared about you at all, he would not need a rota. If he was a good man, he’d listen to your concerns and act to support you, not make smart-arse juvenile comments, or slope off to the pub/games console to avoid conversations he doesn’t like. Leaving aside the issue of the mortgage, why on earth would you want someone who shows you such little respect to be any - let alone a significant - part of your life?

It will only get worse, and if you were mad enough to have children with this bloke, you would be the only one doing all the hard work - domestic, emotional, financial, intellectual, and practical - of bringing them up, too.

We'll see you in a year or two OP. When he's on the mortgage despite nothing changing. When you're still doing it all except now you have a baby and you're now struggling to keep up with the blow job rota.

If you're determined to give him another chance then I suggest using some sort of chore sharing app.

These apps specifically track who does what, for example FlatUp! or 'House Chores Cleaning Schedule' app.

Then it will be crystal clear how things are shared and if you're both pulling your weight.

JFC every update gets worse but you’re determined to keep wearing rose tinted specs to hide the massive red flags

This bloke must have a platinum dick that ejaculates champagne for you to tolerate his entitled crap.

Another on the long line of MN threads of women so desperate to have a man that their bar is so low it’s subterranean- absolutely fucking depressing in 2025 that useless men still get a free pass by women

You are waiting for the relationship to be in a good place but unfortunately I don't think it ever will be. He may change for 5 minutes to keep you on board, but that isn't ever going to last for long. You may feel sad for a short while but will be grateful in the long term if you get rid.

I think this must be a fake thread as noone is this stupid.
If it's real you need to woman up. The time spent flogging this dead horse could be spent with someone who would actually be a good life partner and father.

I think you can tell him straight that man babies are very unattractive and you think you'll lose interest in the sexual side of the relationship if you have to clean up after him or remind him to do his share. Tell him that had he not lied to you about cleaning his own place, you'd never have suggested he move in with you. Best he moves out and works on himself a bit more: if he loves you, he'll take this as a warning that he needs to do much better.

In what world do men who sulk and behave like spoilt children change their behaviour after “one more chance”? 🙄

I'd be telling him living together isn't working out for you and ask him to leave. If his parents are gifting a deposit he can buy his own place.

Bloody hell @Gimpee you are incredible. I can see why you’re so keen for @JadeySmiles to listen to you. You have literally lived through the shittest situation and survived. You are very inspiring to me.

@JadeySmiles - put it this way. If your partner was a girl friend staying with you and not helping, sharing cooking, leaving a mess - you would be irritated surely? You wouldn’t be thinking of signing over half of your most prized possession but you’d probably be wondering if she was a good friend and whether you should even see her again?

I’m guessing you’re blinded by good sex with this guy or a fear of loneliness and can’t see his true colours and what lies ahead for you.

I strongly believe that if a relationship with anyone is consistently making you feel worse, rather than lifting you and making you feel secure/ warm/ good about yourself/ -
then it isn’t a good relationship. It is a BAD relationship. This for me includes friends and family.
You are not describing to us any moments of joy and happiness he’s bringing you.. so really what’s the point of him?

Just say to him “it’s not working for you anymore, you don’t want to be his mum, deal with sulks, criticisms on your cooking, or clean up after someone and you’d like him to leave your home today.” Say “he’s no longer making you feel happy or good about yourself and he has the next few hours to pack and leave”. Be firm.

Then you have a few more days over Easter to sort yourself out and pull yourself together. Yes, you will feel rubbish initially and probably cry a bit - but you will have been strong and ultimately you will feel calmer and less angry and worried inside.

I hope you have a friend nearby who can visit or you can do something nice with. You will find someone else at some point and will hopefully have learned to put a higher value on your own happiness and needs. Meanwhile learn to enjoy being with yourself and your friends. Good luck x

If he loves me as much as he says then he will pull his weight - simple.

If he loved you as much as he says he wouldn't be behaving in such a disrespectful and manipulative manner.

He's told you who he really is, what are you doing wringing your hands about making charts?

Flogging a dead horse.

You're worrying about him dumping you if you assert yourself. He's got you right where he wants you then.

It would be madness to consider having children with this man. I don't know why you haven't dumped him yet.

I'd have had the real ick with him by now. Let him buy and clean his own home. He thinks you're housekeeper material, OP. 🙄