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Original poster

4yo unattended in pool

28 replies

Anon01010 · 17/04/2025 21:06

My ex recently started taking our 4yo old swimming. 4yo has had two lessons I believe and had no prior experience in pools so is still learning. They do an open swim session after. 4yo has just informed me his father showed him how he can swim the whole length of the pool under water, leaving 4yo unsupervised in the pool. Am I right to be worried/annoyed by this or should I just let it go?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Anon01010 · 18/04/2025 10:49

I don’t want to appear dismissive to those who have suggested my 4 year old’s version of events might not be reliable to go off of, but I really do trust what he says, he is not the type to exaggerate and this is exactly the type of thing his dad would do. I can’t ask his dad because he will deny it happened at all. I know the big unknown is how long he was actually left unsupervised for and I can see how that does make some difference. My wider worry is about the future and if his dad did something like this on holiday for example where there may not be any lifeguards for back up.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 18/04/2025 10:19

How big is the pool?

the teaching pool near me is 5m by 5m.

also, how sure can you be your 4 year old is reliable? It’s quite likely dad did go underwater but many 4 year olds do exaggerate.

either way, if you are separated this isn’t something you have control over.

BodenCardiganNot · 18/04/2025 10:17

We’d practice swimming then I’d do a couple of lengths whilst they played with pool toys near the steps at 4. There was a lifeguard, possibly mine we’re better swimmers at that age.
And what would have happened if the life guard had to attend to another swimmer who was in difficulty? Life guards are not their to provide supervision for children whose parents who want to do a few lengths on their own leaving. Our pool has very strict rules about that - brought in because that is what parents were doing.

BodenCardiganNot · 18/04/2025 10:15

@vivainsomnia
He is 4. Has had 2 lessons. His dad disappears off underwater.
How is that not being unsupervised?

Lovelysummerdays · 18/04/2025 10:14

My kids are older now so it’s been a while but it sounds ok to me depending on the set up. We used to swim at a little pool that had steps leading in and then was quite shallow with a gentle slope. We’d practice swimming then I’d do a couple of lengths whilst they played with pool toys near the steps at 4. There was a lifeguard, possibly mine we’re better swimmers at that age.

Not really the point but swim fin is better than arm bands.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 18/04/2025 10:13

15m is a reasonably long way for the average person to swim under water. And the average 4 year old doesn't know what lengths or widths are. So he may have been far closer than you think

cestlavielife · 18/04/2025 10:06

Dad was there
You cannot trust exactly what 4 Yr old said
One length might be a quick dip under water
4 Yr old has armbands
Is it lifeguarded pool?

vivainsomnia · 18/04/2025 10:04

Haha, got it. In that case, of course he wasn't unsupervised!

BodenCardiganNot · 18/04/2025 09:50

It's incredible how people can read a 5 1/2 line post and still not take in the information.

BlueMum16 · 18/04/2025 09:44

vivainsomnia · 18/04/2025 09:32

So where was dad?

Under the water 🤷‍♂️ read the OP

vivainsomnia · 18/04/2025 09:32

So where was dad?

Original poster
Anon01010 · 17/04/2025 21:44

@Honon it’s at least 15m long but unclear how wide, in theory he could have swam the width

OP posts:
Lunchwoes · 17/04/2025 21:36

Id check with him before getting annoyed. 4 year olds say all sorts!

CarpetKnees · 17/04/2025 21:34

I'd always check details when given information like that by a 4 year old. Their perception can be quite different from reality.

Honon · 17/04/2025 21:30

How long is the pool? Our local teaching pool is 5m across. If it was that distance I think it's not so bad - he'd be a couple of strokes away. If he's 10m+ away that's another matter.

Annascaul · 17/04/2025 21:28

JoyousEagle · 17/04/2025 21:26

I assume she meant where was the son watching from

Show quote history

He was “unsupervised in the pool”.
It’s all right there in the op 🤷🏻‍♀️

JoyousEagle · 17/04/2025 21:26

CheeseNPickle3 · 17/04/2025 21:20

Hufflemuff - he was swimming a length under water so not watching at all!

I assume she meant where was the son watching from

wonderstuff · 17/04/2025 21:24

I always watched my kids like a hawk in the water until they could confidently swim a length.

Original poster
Anon01010 · 17/04/2025 21:22

@Hufflemuff my son was in the water, granted wearing armbands but still, alone.

If my ex were any sort of reasonable person I would speak with him but my guess is he will not admit to this.

OP posts:
Hollyhobbi · 17/04/2025 21:22

My now ex husband left our da who couldn’t swim at all at the time in a different pool while he swam lengths. He also drove her around in a car with no working seat belts in the back.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/04/2025 21:20

Hufflemuff · 17/04/2025 21:18

Was he watching from the side? Or sat on the steps?

Presumably there's a life guard too.

I'd probably just ask him rather than sitting there stewing about it and speculating.

It says in the OP that he was swimming the length of the pool under water.

CheeseNPickle3 · 17/04/2025 21:20

Hufflemuff - he was swimming a length under water so not watching at all!

Annascaul · 17/04/2025 21:19

Hufflemuff · 17/04/2025 21:18

Was he watching from the side? Or sat on the steps?

Presumably there's a life guard too.

I'd probably just ask him rather than sitting there stewing about it and speculating.

He was at the other end of the pool?

DiscoBeat · 17/04/2025 21:19

Absolutely not on. Does he know what danger he put your son in??

Hufflemuff · 17/04/2025 21:18

Was he watching from the side? Or sat on the steps?

Presumably there's a life guard too.

I'd probably just ask him rather than sitting there stewing about it and speculating.

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