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Hotel barman came to hotel room door

184 replies

Goditsmemargaret · 17/04/2025 20:23

I'm a bit shaken up.

I'm on a city break with my DD 6. It's a European city, just the two of us. It's been a few days of activities, then we arrive back to the hotel and eat there in the quiet hotel bar.

There is a very friendly barman. He can't do enough for us. We've been chatting for around an hour in the evening. My DD chats but is mainly unwinding with her colouring. I've had one glass of wine every evening and then gone to bed early. He's been a bit flirty, nothing outrageous but I'm slightly wary given I'm a woman travelling alone with my daughter.

There was a group of loud men hanging around, some but not all had their wives with them. They didn't speak English but it was obvious one was making unpleasant remarks at me and they all laughed.

Tonight as usual we went up to bed before 8pm. She then proceeded to get sick all over the bathroom. I put her back to bed and cleaned it up using all the towels. I then phoned reception to apologise for leaving the towels outside the door on the corridor and asked for clean ones. They were having trouble hearing me so I emailed too (relevant as I emailed the info email).

Reception then appeared with fresh towels. I explained about the dirfy towels and we agreed I should take them back inside and leave them on the balcony. All was dealt with.

I heard some of the loud bar people come up and was cussing silently that they were on my floor.

Then another knock on the door and nothing else. I walked over and said hello. It was the barman. I asked him what he wanted. He asked could he help. I said no, she's asleep, goodnight. He then said if we need anything to come down. I said goodnight.

I don't know if I'm overreacting but I'm shaking now. I can't see any reason why he wouldn't just phone the room. I don't like the fact he came and knocked without saying who he was. I could have opened the door and then being manipulated into a conversation on an empty corridor.

Am I being paranoid? It felt very off.

OP posts:
Sparkling2006 · 17/04/2025 20:34

I’m over giving men the benefit of the doubt personally. There was no reason for him to come up to your room, the towel issue had been dealt with.

RedHelenB · 17/04/2025 20:31

Obviously was checking you were ok and was there anything he could help with..

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2025 20:31

HTruffle · 17/04/2025 20:26

I can understand how you feel but I imagine he’s acted out of genuine concern.

Schrödinger’s predator. Probably completely fine. But there’s never zero risk. Flirty + in person visit would trouble me.

SingWithMeJustForToday · 17/04/2025 20:30

HTruffle · 17/04/2025 20:26

I can understand how you feel but I imagine he’s acted out of genuine concern.

This for me, too.

I can completely understand the anxiety but I expect he was just checking you were okay. A barman once helped me change the bed after my toddler had been sick over it - he was lovely. I had my husband there which I appreciate was reassurance you don’t have, and I’m not sure if I’d have accepted his offer to help if I hadn’t, but they were probably just trying to ensure you were okay and didn’t need a hand.

TiredEyesToday · 17/04/2025 20:29

Yeah I think he’s probably taken a shine to you, but also is/ was genuinely concerned, and just hasn’t thought about how as a lone travelling woman, coming to your room might make you feel. does the door deadlock from the inside, if that makes you feel better? But I think it’s probably just good intentions being acted out slightly thoughtlessly.

Goditsmemargaret · 17/04/2025 20:27

HTruffle · 17/04/2025 20:26

I can understand how you feel but I imagine he’s acted out of genuine concern.

Ok that makes me feel better, thanks

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 17/04/2025 20:27

TokyoSushi · 17/04/2025 20:25

It does seem a bit weird, I would distance myself from him, how much longer do you have left?

We are going tomorrow. I feel uneasy now in the room. I've been putting the door against it every night anyway but I don't think I'll sleep well.

OP posts:
HTruffle · 17/04/2025 20:26

I can understand how you feel but I imagine he’s acted out of genuine concern.

TokyoSushi · 17/04/2025 20:25

It does seem a bit weird, I would distance myself from him, how much longer do you have left?

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