Hotel barman came to hotel room door

What the hell is this racist bollocks? ‘These foreign types’? Christ.

Sounds like he’s built up rapport with you, has heard the issue or seen your email and come to check if you are ok because he works there, and also you are a loan parent travelling with a kid. Sounds like a normal human thing to do! It doesn’t hurt to leave stuff pushed against the door if you still feel anxious, but I think this sounds innocent. Fingers crossed your DD isn’t sick again 🤞

If he knew the drunk blokes who were intimidating you (you may not have understood what they were saying but I'd lay down money that he did) are on your floor, your kid is throwing up and you'd asked reception for help, I really think it's coming from a place of genuine concern and kindness. May have thought the presence of a male member of staff would dissuade any thoughts of them playing silly buggers if they were hanging around.

I've sent male coworkers to check on lone female clients if I know there's a rowdy group in the vicinity showing interest. Remarkable how quickly they simmer the fuck down when a guy built like a brick shithouse is asking if there is a problem.

Hotels will often send a member of staff up to check you’re OK if they know someone’s unwell. I was ill on holiday in a small hotel in the South of France and the next day DP was out and I was in the room and one of the staff knocked to ask if I was feeling better and did I need anything like bottled water or some herbal tea or extra loo roll!

We don't know whether he was going above and beyond the normal brief for his job, but let's assume the best of motives BUT STILL PRIORITISE YOUR SAFETY. Make sure you have the door securely locked and put a chair underneath the knob/handle if you can.

I suspect you've been spooked by those other men and it's a cumulative effect of the staff member and those men making you nervous.

Listen to your gut.

Yes, these foreign types - or do you think that everyone is behaving like a wonderfully repressed anally-retentive British public school gentleman of the 1930s?

So paranoid.

How do you know one of the guests in the bar was openly making unpleasant remarks at you and child (and everyone including the wives laughing?). I think you see threats where there are none.

Abd it's obvious why there could be a knock on the door. You phoned and emailed reception to tell them your daughter had puked all over the bathroom floor. Obviously there was going to be interaction.

I agree, I think he was probably being a nice guy and as you were on your own wanted to help

I don't think I would think anything of this if it were me.

Hope your daughter is feeling better by the morning.

I think @Hufflemuff has the most likely answer.
If you don’t carry a door wedge with you, push something under the door a towel will do. Hope your DD is ok.

I have one of these. It's alarmed so if anyone opens the door it sets off like a rape alarm. They cost a fiver. It might make me sound paranoid but I travel often and I've had male cleaners and sometimes other guests enter the room when I've been asleep etc.
They're worth the money for a bit of extra piece of mind.

I hope your dd feels better in the morning and good enough to travel. I also hope you get some rest.

To be honest, it sounds like he is a bit of a chancer, which is not uncommon among hotel workers / seasonal workers. I would have been taken aback as well. It doesn't sound predatory though. You were right not to open the door and I suspect that will be the end of it.

You’re 1000% correct to be suspicious.
In this day and age you can’t afford not to be suspicious.
While I doubt this barman is Ted Bundy, Bundy used a fake broken arm and charm to lure women away from a lake beach and murdered them.
You can’t trust anybody any more, much less a stranger, no matter how friendly they are.
Have a safe rest of your journey, @Goditsmemargaret.

Oh bless you! I really feel for you. I would be rattled too. He’s probably just following up because you emailed and hasn’t thought about how it would look but you can never be sure with these men. Well done on having the presence of mind not to open the door. If he did have less than good intentions he’ll have got the message. If you do this regularly I would definitely invest in some gadgets for the door.

Good grief - so much blaming of a woman on her own seeking reassurance. Shame on some of you.

There's nothing wrong in seeking reassurance OP. Hope that DD recovers and that you get a restful night's sleep. Take those extra precautions suggested with the door.

Sleep well.

These foreign types?

Apt username.

I understand why you feel the way you do, my initial reaction would be that it is innocent, if not slightly misjudged.

I would try not to worry. He knocked, you asked who it was, he replied. If you asked who it was and there was no reply then that would have been weird. You keep mentioning the bad mannered couples from the bar. If they stood out to you and caused you stress then maybe he picked up on that too.

Always a good idea to keep your distance from the staff. No need to chat to staff for extended periods of time. Better to be polite, keep your distance and tip them generously, if they are providing an excellent service, but not to chat them for 1 hour over a glass of wine.

I hope you it’s not norovirus if you’re flying tomorrow?

This

A lot of these young foreign types think that a single mum is desperate for a man and he may have had previous success with having Ito off with a single mother and her child and he was trying to g his luck with you.

Or perhaps in his job he gets a lot of abuse from rowdy people and you have been very nice and chatted to him and that gave him the idea that he should check up on you when he hears your child had been unwell.

Who knows?

But really you should not have been over familiar with him each evening and should have been polite but not engaged in any chit chat with the staff as some take it the wrong way.

Are you really implying that women don’t have instincts about potentially predatory men?