For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

Totally agree with this. I wouldn’t be overly worried about infection, but at 2 weeks I would have found it overwhelming to manage a party and a baby, especially with breastfeeding thrown into the mix. And while I’m generally keen to let DH have a say, I think those first few weeks after birth are different - I found that DH forgot that I was still recovering and exhausted and sore and bleeding; I had to keep reminding him that I’d been through something major!

It's really lovely how many people felt so confident to go out to this kind of environment with such a teeny baby.
My little boy is now nearly 3 and those early days are such a blur! I had a c section too, and to be honest, aside from germs/passing baby around etc, I felt exhausted after "socialising" with people in my own home.
Not that it matters one jot how you're choosing to feed, but if breastfeeding, that is such another dynamic to consider. Even popping somewhere for few hours feels like such a mission in those early days!
I personally knew I was very unlikely to have any more, so I wanted to soak up those early days, and to me (again, it's all so personal) that looked like staying in doors, and just having immediate family round at times that suited me!

From your post, I get a sense you don't want to go, but would like some validation that's OK. It's absolutely OK if you don't want to go, 2 weeks old is still soooooooo tiny and it's all so new and overwhelming! I completely understand having 2nd/3rd etc may shift this perspective as you have to get out the house, but in terms of your 1st, you literally don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with!

I look back at things I did in those early days and think I was genuinely unhinged, but it made sense at the time! 🤣

Ultimately, if you've been a people pleaser previously/don't like upsetting people, children are a great leveller, as you will find situations that you simply have to I'm order to advocate for your child/what you think is right.

Of course your DH has a say, and an opinion snd it should of course be discussed if you have opposing views, but he also hasn't just have major abdominal surgery!

You get to do whatever you feel is right, even if others think you're wildly weird, doesn't matter!

Be kind to yourself, you are in such early days and whatever you decide will end up being right thing

I’ll bring the paranoia for you although we had a good out come. Family were visiting from overseas when I had my second. Lots of gatherings, same 20 ish people. I was relaxed and he was mainly in the baby carrier.

We all got RSV and after a few days we went to ER when he was 5 weeks old. Thank goodness we did because I and my 2yo were so sick I didn’t know the baby was worse (we were at ER for me and for 2yo). Babies that young don’t look the same sick and it is easy to miss. He was in the hospital for a week with 2 nights that were touch and go. I’ll never hug someone’s newborn without a mask again.

I also don’t judge people who take their babies out - I did it and you can’t stop all exposure.

My baby was at a soft play at 4 days old, the joys of having an older brother!

I’d go, enjoy the offer of a cup of tea and give your baby a big cuddle whilst everyone tells you how cute they are.

That would be a no from me. It's like suddenly you're good enough for an invite now there's a tiny baby to show off? If you weren't that close pre baby I don't see why that should change much.

2 weeks post c section as well. You'll be in the thick of it, adjusting to motherhood and recovering. I would stay home. Visitors can come to you this early. Hopefully your husband can understand with a very newborn and recovering from major surgery that's the best option. You matter too. Anyone who gives you a hard time over it isn't worth knowing.

If you're not sure about wearing a sling your DH can baby-wear. It sounds like a good opportunity to introduce your baby to lots of the family and you have a great excuse if you don't want to stay long.

I know for me personally it wasn’t just about the baby. I was nowhere near ready at that point to expose myself to that many people. My body was only just beginning to heal, none of my clothes fit, I wasn’t getting enough sleep to make travelling anywhere safe (to drive etc) and emotionally I was all over the place. I think if any of those apply to you, it’s also a valid reason not to go.

And absolutely not, the risk of cold sores, colds etc would out me right off. Also, baby may become very over whelmed and overstimulated and be difficult to settle.

Were just about to have our second 2 weeks before my brothers birthday and there’s no way I’m going down to his for that.

If you don't feel like it, don't go. I absolutely would not.

Just because other people handed around their 1 day old babies to a coach load of people, doesn't mean that you have to. His immune system is not developed and what's the point of taking him if you're worried and will be carrying him in a sling. People get more worked up if the baby is there and they aren't allowed to touch. If you don't go, there may be some mumbles about how unreasonable you are, but you'll be comfy in your house with your tiny baby, safe and protected and you really shouldn't care.

Only go if you’re comfortable. I had a similar situation when my baby was newborn and I didn’t go. I just knew he would be over handled and grouchy. People came to us it was fine.

I went to a huge birthday event when my second was less than 2 weeks, didn’t even think about it, we’re talking 50/60 people. There was probably more people in the restaurant you went to when you went to dinner than the people at this event you’re going to.

Please don’t leave the baby in the car seat though that is actually dangerous.

Do not go if the thought of it makes you uncomfortable. Also, dont go just to please other people!

i wouldn’t go…. Too small and too many people. Not worth the risk. People can look at a photo if they’re that interested!

I'd have thought it would be beneficial to the baby's immune system to be exposed to a variety of people and "bugs".

Having said that, why on earth would your husband wnat to show him off at work? I can't think of any work environment where that would be expected or acceptable

Why aren't you usually invited to his parties? Is it for family or friends or a mixture?

I'd go early to share the baby/celebrate together then leave when you feel it's too much. It's all about you and what you're comfortable with as the mum.

Though I took dd to NY at 5 weeks with her three siblings. Think I was a bit mad back then. She's 21 now and no lasting damage.

As long as you feel comfortable, you can wear baby in a stretchy wrap straight away and it makes family events easier because no one can pick up the baby, kiss them etc. And the baby is likely to sleep better with the warmth of your body and sound of your heart beating.

I was pressured into taking DD1 to a family party (2 hour drive away) when she was 3 weeks old. I was struggling with PND, exhausted with a newborn that didn't sleep and struggling with breastfeeding. It was horrendous and killed our breastfeeding journey. Please don't cave to pressure and do what feels right for you and baby xxx

It wouldn’t even occur to me to not go - unless I was feeling crap still myself.

What amazing opportunity to show off your baby to the family if your granddad is ok with that. However your choice ..if you feel unhappy about it you get to call the shots here. I actively encouraged dd to be part of her extended family so started building her relationship from days old so might be coming from a different point. There's no right or wrong here, you the mum your choice.

Is this a since COVID thing?

I had mine pre COVID and it was totally normal for everyone to come and visit you. I also had mine at bf groups, supermarkets etc.

Second was in Tesco at one day old as I had to take her back for her checks because we were released a couple of hours after she was born.

I didn't realise how much things have changed judging by responses. I don't know anyone who didn't have all the family round at the very least.

I'd hate to be stuck in bed for 2 weeks.

OP this isn’t an AIBU question. No one can tell you whether you are ready to go out, see people hold your baby etc. Ignore anyone on here who seeks to dictate how you ought to feel. If you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready and there will be other occasions. It’s not the one and only time your family will have to meet the baby!

And no, some people aren’t sensible about colds and holding babies unfortunately.

Are the party attendees the type to let you have your space, greet you, quickly meet baby and let you decide your comfort level with interactions with baby? Or are they the type to play pass the parcel, get in baby’s face and keep baby from you for the night?

If the first, I would happily attend and show off baby. I would probably be comfortable with people holding baby. If the second, I would stay home and offer a window to FaceTime DH, so people can “meet the baby”. Have DH explain that baby’s immune and nervous systems are too immature for close exposure to a lot of people and the overstimulation of being passed around.

I loved introducing my babies to family - I think it’s such a special thing and a privilege to have so many people excited to meet them and be part of their life. Life is so short - I’d go for an hour, don’t overthink it - if you’re breastfeeding your baby’s immune system will be just fine.

Am I the only person who wasn't hiding away with my newborn? I couldn't wait to show them off and let family have cuddles. This attitude is so far removed from my real life experiences. I only really see it on MN.

When my DS was 10 days old from a C-section my DH organised a drinks party for about 30 friends, for my birthday. I was a bit anxious. It was all fine.