For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

I've not read the replies so I don't know if I'm in step with others or not, but I would go.

I went to a wake when ds2 was similar age and there was loads of people there.

No idea if it made a difference or not but I kept ds1 away from crowds for a while, (pfb of course!) probably until he was at least 2 months maybe more. Ds1 was permanently snotty and while not ill not 100% for a while.
No issues of colds or snot with ds2.
It could be because ds2 mixed more early on, I dont know.
However , although it was a family funeral it meant relatives got to see him all at the same time and it took pressure of home visits!

Can you just go for an hour ? Two weeks after a C Section I should think you need as much rest as you can get with a newborn.
Congratulations on your baby.

It's your husband's baby too! Maybe he'd like to show HIS new baby off...?

Absolutely not. Mind yourself.
Babies being passed around can unsettle them and hurt their new soft bones.
I wouldn't.

It’s your bloke’s grandfather, isn’t it @untitled1? The first chance for four generations to be in the same room, that’s special. Why not go, stay a short time, let them take a photo of him with his dad, grandad and great grandad, then leave? It won’t do any harm and will mean a lot to them.

Literally says so in the OP

I'd take the baby. Baby will sleep through most of it anyway at 2 weeks old. I don't see the issue. Just go for a few hours?

I'm a bit concerned about the bit about your DH wanting to take the baby into his work and "I put a stop to that".

You should be resting at home for the first 6 weeks. Especially after a c-section.

So should your baby. Bit too much, too soon.

Good lord I couldn't think of anything worse. I remember having my boobs out all the time at 2 weeks post partum with various amounts of poop and vomit on me as well. Madness to do all of this in a different setting.
To those who say would you feel different if it was your side? in my case, maybe. it's easier to be hormonal and shouty with your own than in laws.
Do not feel obliged to do anything you don't want to do. You've just had a baby and need to rest. It's not like you're being precious and stopping them from seeing the little one.
Flu season maybe over but Noravirus is everywhere at the moment. Stay home OP.

The newborn phase is so short and so precious, I would think what you and your husband collectively want to do, and do that.

Whatever your reasons, you aren't being unreasonable. You've just had surgery for a start, and infection aside (I don't actually think people with a cold etc will stay away, particularly with alcohol on board), being passed around multiple people is known to be very stressful for babies.

If you do I'd suggest one of you wearing a sling, staying for an hour tops and having a code word to escape earlier if you need, but personally I would be staying at home.

Don’t feel any pressure to go. You don’t even have to give a reason. You’ve just had major surgery and are probably up all night with the baby. Just say you don’t feel up to it on the day.
For the first 4-6 weeks I was happiest at home, getting in tune with the baby, feeding, resting when I could. With my first and second. Everyone is different, some people love to be out and about. It’s completely up to you and everyone I know gives the Mum a free pass for the first few months to do exactly what suits her and the baby. I’m sure you will have her GPs over to see her soon, no need to show her off to a big group if you’d rather not. Take care ❤️

I would have taken the baby i don't get the need to live in a bubble thing

There are some really nasty viruses around at the moment, and several of my friends have been really laid low with them.

@untitled1 I don't think you are being over cautious at all. Ignore everyone's anecdotes, they aren't relevant to you. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

Please ignore anyone calling you precious. It really doesn’t matter what everyone else was happy with for their newborn - you get choose your own boundaries,

If you decide to take him then do ask people to respect your wishes on holding and touching. Make sure you can leave when you want to.

You said they don’t usually invite you to family events - are there strained relationships?

It’s your prerogative.

I was the type to be out and about socialising straight away, but I popped my babies out with minimal effort and I EBF which I felt protected them. But if you don’t feel happy, don’t do it.

I would go. Enjoy yourself and enjoy showing off your baby.

I wouldn't go. It's an adults party for adults. You will be exhausted and your body has changed so focusing on what you might wear might also be uncomfortable.
Babies are not parcels and you come as a package deal.
I would use the "they haven't attended their wellness check yet" . And go with 8 weeks and after, 3 - 5 people outside for an hour at the most. (With them hosting).

I didn’t go in this situation when my baby was a newborn for the same reasons as you - I felt my baby was too newborn, we didn’t usually get included in things and there was going to be 25 people there and I knew one relative in particular would have wanted to play pass the parcel with the baby.
I didn’t regret not going.
It caused some grumblings, but my priority was my baby not managing their feelings.
You need to do what you feel is right for you and your baby. And I think it’s important for you to find your voice from day 1 with family, it stops people thinking they can interfere and tell you what you should be doing.

If you really don’t feel up to it don’t go. But I would ask what do you think you would have done if it was a birthday gathering for someone on your side of the family?

I think you are absolutely correct. Although it's great that your husband seems so proud and excited to show the baby off to his relatives and workmates, his priorities in this case are self-centered and wrong.

The baby's safety and wellbeing come FIRST, regardless of what DH feels like doing and regardless of what his father or grandfather think of it. I wonder if you can get your baby's doctor office to back you up on this or show your husband another authoritative source on it.

Perhaps I'm against the grain but dh has a huge family so they had parties each time our dc were born and they played pass the baby at about 2 weeks old.

It was totally fine. They gave dc back when they got hungry and meant all the visits were over in one fell swoop.

Put him in a baby carrier then he can’t be passed around to many people.
i would consider going but not stay for very long.
But it’s your baby and your rules

I agree babies are resilient but on the flip side, my 2nd born caught a cold from my eldest (he was 15 months she was 1 week old) and needed hospitalisation for 3days and IVs/cannula and a lumbar puncture to check it wasn't anything serious. If I had a third (never gonna happen) I'd be on edge because of that situation lol so I can completely empathise with why this mother is anxious! You've got to do what you feel is right as a parent, trust yourself and your body.

Babies have immune systems designed to be strengthened by family interaction. That’s why breast milk contains antibodies. This idea that you’re protecting them from ‘germs’ is wrong. Bacteria and microbes are everywhere. Yes, of course don’t hand them to Great Aunt Anna with the shingles (who shouldn’t be there anyway), but normal cradling and interaction like a chuck under the chin will not harm the baby. In fact it helps every time their system is exposed to small amounts of new stuff.

And families, like most communities, grow stronger with engagement and inclusion. I know it’s hard when it’s your pfb, but it is so worthwhile to let other people bond with your child and to see you as a family unit.