For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

Well people like YOU make my blood boil.

Dont tell me to fuck off.

The baby still can be attached to their mum. But they can have a life too! Fancy some people having a life after a newborn hey?! Whatever next.

Agree with this. Obviously all decisions are made by the OP. Poor DH.

and OP - just remember this if you’re made a grandparent in the future and your new grandchild isn’t allowed to your birthday party

I don’t think you’re being overprotective at all, no matter if this is your first baby or your third. Baby aside, YOU need to be resting, especially as I see you’ve had a c-section!

I absolutely hate the way we treat new mothers and babies. Expecting them to bounce back right away! I see people saying they did the school run less than 24 hours after giving birth, like it’s some flex. Or PFB, just you wait until you have another one and the world doesn’t stop. If my partner gave birth and she was doing housework a few days after giving birth, I’d be mortified. I’d have failed as a partner. Or as in your case, trying to pressurise them into attending social events 2 weeks after giving birth before they feel ready to.

People should be fucking ashamed.

Some of these posts, honestly. Take your child out, it's a family gathering, no harm will come to the baby.

As for your husband wanting to take the baby to work, he's obviously very proud of having a child and is equally responsible for the child along with you. Who nominated you to be the decision maker, have you always vetoed your husband's decisions?

I had this exact scenario with my FB. FIL had a big birthday when DD was 8 days old. Big farming family. I went (slightly against my better judgment). MIL and the aunts overruled us on the passing baby around thing. I could not complain without looking selfish and mad. Nobody hand-washed. Baby was upset. I was banished by MIL to bedroom to BF as she deemed it unsuitable to BF in front of men. Stuck in bedroom alone with unsettled baby for the rest of the party. Nobody brought food or drink. Husband completely oblivious as catching up with relatives and helping MIL. Felt terrible for us both and made to feel like a complete snowflake. Nobody meant it badly. No harm done and she’s now 30 but it was a grim introduction to family. Do what you feel comfortable with. You can introduce baby at a time that suits you if you don’t go to party. if your a first time mum it’s easy to feel undermined by older female relatives on their territory.

I would go for a short time but I wouldn't be playing pass the parcel with the baby - he would stay in my arms. Be prepared to get grief for not letting everyone have a hold. I got called every name under the sun for not passing my son round my mum's friends (by my mum) and my son is now 36!

Yes, but the OP feels fine.

Recovery really varies, but the OP shouldn't feel the need to stay at home just because some people need to. That's as bonkers as suggesting everyone should be back to normal within a week just because some are (I was one of those lucky ones).

The OP says she feels fine.

My recovery from my first C-section took about 4 weeks, that was being confident enough to be walking about without as much pain and doing basic tasks apart from looking after my son. I wouldn’t be rushing to be getting out and about because you will be uncomfortable. Getting in and out of a car was a huge issue for me for a while and I burst my stitches. This is about you more so than your baby. You’ve had a major operation. Some folk need reminding of that. You can’t just crack on with things and if you don’t feel comfortable for whatever reason say no.

I guess the event was yesterday, right? But in case you get more such invitations : I would've gone only for the aperitif, or for the dessert, so a shorter period of time. I would've held my baby myself or he would've been in his carrier. And I would've asked other people to not touch, only look - also explain why.

Babies need to be exposed to germs, this actully builds up their immune system. You dont want to be in a situation a few months down the line when your baby is exposed to flu and cold germs, but its body cant fend it off because they havent been exposed to germs before. Im a believer that you can be to clean and exposure to germs can be a good thing

I would say don’t go if you don’t feel comfortable. I had my second baby 2 months ago and was not fully aware of the risks of them getting ill. I had this nagging worry about it that strangely hadn’t had with my first, that he could catch some nasty, rare virus, but told myself it was unlikely and we carried in with normal life. At 3 weeks old he came down with a slight fever and was being irritable and not his usual self. Long story short, he ended up in hospital with a canula for antibiotics and having a spinal tap in case he had bacterial meningitis. Happily he did not, but he did turn out to have a viral meningitis- he had contracted a virus which I was told only has very mild symptoms in adults - so mild people may not realise they have anything at all, and it had got into the fluid round the brain as the blood-brain barrier has not formed at that age. I was told it’s unlikely he will have any long-term issues, but the whole experience was horrible and I just had not been aware that such a mild and common illness could have such consequences.

Im not sharing this to scare you, just to say that if you feel uneasy about attending large gatherings in the early weeks, trust your gut. I don’t think most people are aware of the actual risks involved if a very young baby catches even a mild virus.

I agree with Ewg9. I also wouldn't have wanted to go out so soon after giving birth, never mind following a c-section. It's far too soon. Bad enough when people 'drop in' to see you and stay more than half an hour.

Personally, I’d not want to go either OP. Yes there’s the germs aspect to consider which is perfectly reasonable. Babies are much more vulnerable and you shouldn’t have to take risks you aren’t comfortable with just to look after other people’s feelings.

Also, to be honest, you shouldn’t have to go. You’re 2 weeks PP. you’re probably emotional, exhausted, still bleeding and your boobs are probably leaking everywhere. Do you even feel ready to socialise? Fair play to those who say they would have gone to a party / wedding whatever 2 weeks PP but I’d have put my foot down and said no. If you don’t want to leave the house other than for gentle walks at this stage that’s OK and completely normal.

I think your instincts are sound. The advice I received from the midwife when I had my now 17 month old was no large gatherings and even be careful with close relatives as newborns do not have the immunity. Even no kissing which relatives couldn't remember and was terribly awkward, trying to politely remind them not to... If you're not comfortable and very tired going to the party I would decline the invite. I wouldn't compare with others, you are finding your feet as a new Mum and follow your gut. I think people forget how overwhelming and exhausting it is. Compromise could be to go for a little while and wear baby but final decision should be yours as primary carer and being so exhausted etc. Your husband/partner is proud Dad which is understandable but the health of your baby should come first. My own husband wanted me to take our son into work and it never happened. Not because I didn't want to, but I found being a Mum so overwhelming and exhausting, but we are all different. Again, you are caring for the baby and do what you can manage or try to find a compromise. Meet his closest colleagues for a coffee out of the office etc. but when you and baby are ready.

I wouldn’t take my baby personally

postpartum mums should do exactly what they want, especially in the first few weeks.

dont be talked into something you don’t want to do. People will understand and meet baby when you’re ready!

You are not be unreasonable, you sound like a fantastic mum,protecting her baby,every should understand that there is so many germs out,and probably not had any injection yet.so no I really don't think your being unreasonable.

At 2 weeks I would have been far more concerned about the baby crying, me not being able to settle him and being judged as a mother. I would have never thought about infection from others. I think you're being over-protective and exposure to the real world will help his immune system develop the way it needs to.
But as you're likely to be sleep-deprived and baby's unlikely to be on any kind of routine yet, I wouldn't plan to stay long. Yes, baby will be the centre of attention - just as it should be.

I brought a prem dc home to hoards of siblings..
He's 10.And a bundle of health....

New mum here. Firstly, do what you feel is right for you. At the end of the day if he is unwell it’s you that’s having to care for him having said that I had people around as soon as I got home from hospital and flew to a wedding abroad with my little one. Not sure where you are but I got the confidence to live around with her Because the local baby sensory class started from 2 weeks old in London!

i would likely attend for a short while which is a fair compromise. You can’t keep the baby that young in a car seat for too long and do not wear a sling! You are still in recovery! Set your boundaries with DH and MIL now so they know on the day you won’t be there long, no one is carrying the baby etc!

I had a 6 week prem baby and tbh I’d of taken him to a small family party once out of hospital if we’d been invited. It can be easy enough to keep newborns out of other people’s arms, they are usually sleeping or feeding both of which they don’t need to be held by anyone else for. I think the sling is a good idea to help with this if your comfortable wearing it after your c section, if not I’d pop baby in the pram and just put the sun shield up as a barrier. But if you’re really not comfortable going then don’t feel bad about that either you do what feels right.
But also just wanted to quickly mention about taking them in in the car seat ideally new borns shouldn’t spend too much time in a car seat in one go, I think the recommendation is half hour at a time

The sling or in your arms, that will discourage people wanting to hold him. If he’s in the car seat he’s more ‘available’ to be breathed on and touched.

I would go with my first out after a couple of days second one i was doing the school run the next day i've got healthy 20 and 24 yr olds let them play in the from toddling much to my husbands shock as different culture told him didn't do me any harm when i was young its how they build there immune system

2 weeks old! and you've had a c-section OMG. I had a relatively easy birth and I didnt leave the house for ages - such a faff with packing etc. also was worried about getting my boob out in front of people. Your baby just wants to be with you, the whole socialising thing is a myth. Your grandfather can see your baby another time. BTW most old people dont remember what it's like having a baby so they can be selfish, my mother in law swore at my husband for not letting her see her granddaughter when she was two weeks old, i couldn't even sit in a chair the first week as had such bad piles! Then when my MIL did come my husband had to make her endless cups of tea and she didnt offer to help with anything. A party with relatives sounds stressful as they'll all want to hold her and may even kiss her and its really uncomfortable to have to say no. Someone here suggested a sling but im guessing you wont have had time to master that yet. Also your baby needs to eat all the time and will probs have a zillion dirty nappies! So you cant be in the sling for long.

You could always say you plan on coming and then just don't go and say you had a really bad night. or are in pain from your c-section You and your baby obvs come first and you have to learn to say no. I've just had to say no to another wedding as my daughter wasn't invited to it and the bride wanted me to leave my one year old with a stranger for the whole day. She's upset im refusing to go as other mothers are going. Everyone is different, I think its really selfish that relatives are pushing you to go.

When you feel comfortable and your baby is older I really recommend a sling (always facing towards you, never outside) that way your baby feels safe and can see people but if your baby gets overstimulated he can turn away into your chest. This is great for parties.

It won’t do your baby any harm. If you’re too exhausted then fair enough.