For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

We didn’t take ours to large gatherings or the shops etc when that small. We had both intubated enough babies with viruses caught from adults who felt quite well to feel uncomfortable until they were a little older.

I see that people with different experiences consider this precious. Personally I think everyone has to decide what they’re comfortable with; previous experience will influence this. Whether you are from a family that washes hands thoroughly and is careful not to expose others if they’re unwell is also a factor.

I think anyone silly enough to write hyperbole about people not licking the baby or
coughing directly into their mouth can safely be ignored, however.

Assuming he’s your first and totally get you might be nervous but there is no reason not to go. Unless you every person there is planning to lick him and cough directly into his mouth. Pop in him a sling if you’re worried about him being passed around and he’ll probably just sleep on you.

Everyone’s situation is different and there really is no right or wrong answer. What should happen is what makes the most sense for the mom and the baby. This doesn’t mean the dad’s wants don’t matter. It just means his focus needs to be on what is best for the healing mom and baby.

Some women are ready to go out and socialize soon after birth. Some extended families are supportive. They put the needs of baby and mom ahead of their own wants and wouldn’t dream of crossing boundaries in any way. In these situations, It would be wonderful for mom, dad and baby to attend the family party where everyone can meet the baby.

On the other hand, some women have a much harder time recovering from childbirth. This can be both physically and emotionally. Some people have selfish extended families who put their desires over what is best for baby and mom.

Most of my stepparent’s family still hasn’t forgiven me for not allowing one of the older relatives, who was visiting from out of town and had an active case of shingles, to hold my premie newborn. I was guilted into attending an event with my baby for my stepparent in the first couple of weeks postpartum. They purposely hid this person’s condition from me. I only found out because I overheard someone else talking about it at the event. We left as soon as we heard and didn’t attend anything else where this person was present.

I just don’t think I’d have been up for this at 2 weeks postpartum. I spent as much time at home in my little newborn bubble as possible before venturing into the world again. My dc had a couple of walks in the first few weeks but mostly with the sleep deprivation, birth recovery and massive change to routine I just wanted to be at home or somewhere quiet. A big social gathering would not have been on my list of things to do so early on.
And of course when they are so tiny your worries about immunity are totally valid too.
Could you not just make up an excuse? You and baby are under the weather? Baby hasn’t slept? You haven’t slept? But send your apologies and say you’ll meet up in the near future?

Being entirely breastfed didn’t stop my three week old from being hospitalised with viral meningitis when he caught a virus adults experience as a mild (sometimes even asymptomatic) flu-like illness.

I took DS to his Pops 60th bday when he was a week old and it meant the absolute world to him. I think people are far too precious about germs in general nowadays - if someone is actually ill, then best to keep away but if they’re all fine a quick cuddle isn’t going to do any harm.

She literally says in her first sentence, first time mom here

I was in a similar situation when my baby was three weeks old. We were invited to DH family Christmas party and I decided against going. I just wasn’t comfortable with it. It did cause tension, and I’ve never been “forgiven” for not going - but this is a problem with DH family. I did what was right at the time for my baby and I stand by it.

l had a newborn that got very poorly from
a cold and he only had met 3 people ! It’s difficult to avoid illness but I don’t think I would be taking a baby to whole crowd of people .
it’s a good option to use a sling if you do want to go though but don’t let People pressure you into cuddles .

Can’t see anywhere in OPs posts saying she’s breastfeeding despite several people trotting out the myth that breastfed babies can’t get sick.

They absolutely can and do catch bugs despite being breastfed. If you have a bug your body produces antibodies that are passed to the baby. If Grandad has a bug then your breastmilk won’t have antibodies in it, as you both get exposed at the same time.

New mums are also more susceptible to bugs so not sure where the idea of this miraculous immunity is coming from. Pregnancy buggers your immune system.

Not everyone can breastfeed, whether they want to or not. Very young babies, whether breastfed or not, have no immune system and can get sick easily, and badly. Can’t fault any new mum who wishes to prevent that.

At two weeks, they have their mother's immunity, especially if breast fed.

I agree. It’s actually abhorrent and sickening for this poster to state that anyone who takes their newborn to a party is a child abuser. Or any husbands who have a difference of opinion on the matter as domestic abusers.

It’s peak chickenpox season and rotavirus season though. Always peak something season. No good for a 2 week old with no immune system.

My kids both ended up in hospital on oxygen with RSV in May though, and my daughter was in hospital with a contagious form of pneumonia in June, so peak is just a meaningless word to me 😂

I would have gone, but then I wasn’t precious over these things (and my kids are super healthy, so obviously didn’t suffer for my laxity!).

Abusive is so overused it’s become trivialised now. This is a prime example.

It’s not abusive for a dad wanting to show off his new baby, but it is abusive if the mum isn’t fully on board with it.

I do think it’s abusive to take a 2 week old baby to a party.

And people who make a new mother feel like she’s being precious for not wanting to do anything she’s not comfortable with, especially 2 weeks after birth are absolutely abhorrent.

In general I do think the way we treat new mums and babies is absolutely disgusting.

I’m currently witnessing it in my circle, and there’s not much I can do about it without making things worse, so it’s all feeling a bit raw for me at the moment.

Only if you're ignoring the part where OP actually says she is fine and has been out and about.

Or the fact that you actually asked me a question about having surgery which I simply just answered.

This thread has taken an absolutely bonkers turn.

Child abuse for taking a baby to a party?

Domestic abuse for a proud dad wanting to show his new baby off to his team?

People shouldn’t have kids if they dare take them
anywhere social in the first few weeks of their life?

Insane.

But OP is too. She said she was feeling fine. Just worried (unnecessarily so in a lot of posters' opinions including mine) about the baby and germs. Nothing that sounds like she's being forced to go somewhere when she doesn't feel up to it.

What I’m hearing is “I was alright, so everyone else should be too”

OP said herself that she is recovering well and has found it helps her to be out and about, she was just concerned more about the baby getting ill or something. She's also decided to go.

I said it CAN be good for someone's mental health, not that it absolutely would be but in OP's case, it does seem to be true.

I had a c-section myself, with twins. I carried on like normal because I also had another child to take care of.

The point is the OP doesn’t feel comfortable going.
It’s the way people are telling a woman going through the most vulnerable time in her life to essentially get over herself. It’s an absolute disgrace. These early post birth days should be solely mother and baby led.
And to say it will be good for her mental health is pure manipulation. Who are YOU to say what’s best for anyone else.

She had major surgery 2 weeks ago, and instead of focusing on getting herself better and getting used to looking after a new baby, the people who are supposed to be caring for her are putting pressure on her to ‘be nice’. Women are at the bottom of the pile every single time.

Baby aside, if you had had major surgery 2 weeks ago, do you think making yourself uncomfortable in order to do nice things for other people should be a priority?

Of course a newborn can go to a party. They can be kept in a sling, in a pram etc and it can be good for a mothers mental health to get out and about again, not locked away for a few weeks.

And are you seriously saying it’s child cruelty to take a newborn to a party??