How to stop being annoyed all the time?

Life is that hard there is no magic wand if partner irritating you find out what irritates them about you and do it more I found that gave me pleasure and made me laugh. I try to make a joke out of irritating issues by exaggerating them, it doesn't work all of the time. I get irritated by everything lol, find one thing that stops you feeling angry for me it's reading a book and do it until anger subsides

Pretend you are being filmed for a mini series on how to bring up children.

Use a tone of voice and words that you would want a new mum to copy.

Just at the point you are going to raise your voice, ask yourself, would you raise your voice if there was a camera right in your face?

Imagine you are on Big Brother. It feels a bit awkward at first, but it really works and got me through some tedious times. I became more patient and consistent. Picked my battles too.

Best of luck @TomatoTrousers x

I think back to my 18 year old self, clubbing with friends, snogging boys and generally behaving badly and think what would that girl say if she could see me now - up to my tits in Lego and chicken nuggets. It makes me laugh and I feel better.

Ashwaghanda and st Jon's wort supplements to help keep me stable!!

More sleep! A breather. I gave up alcohol completely as even one drink the night before makes me snappier!

Time off to relax. Sounds like you a burnt out.

Try and work out if is throughout the month or is it PMT.

I hear you! Two preschoolers and a stressful job.

Something I read recently said that when you’re at the end of your tether, imagine you’re 85 and you’re granted a wish and your wish is one more day with your kids as little ones. Think about how grateful you’d be for just one more day of a healthy 30-something body, some kids who think you’re the centre of their universe.

It’s not perfect but it’s helped me this week.

I was kind of thinking that that would be the affirmation that you were looking for. “This doesn’t matter. Let it go.”

This..

I think you need to remind yourself that mess doesn’t really matter, but a childhood spent with an irritable mum does. Model to your children how to be a happy adult - they learn so much more from what we model than from what we tell them.

I know I'd be less like this if I got a bit less overstimulated and exhausted. Not gonna happen though.

I think tiredness and small kids can test the resources of even the most grateful optimistic parent! I would try and get through the dinner/bath/bed routine as quickly as possible so that you get a good few hours to yourself in the evening! Mine were all in bed by 7.30 when they were small, doesn't matter if they go to sleep straight away as long as they stay in bed!

I think practicing something like mindfulness or yoga (for the breathing exercises) really help, even if you only snatch 10 minutes to do it. Trying to carve out a bit of time for yourself is so important and we often put our own needs last and end up feeling frustrated, put upon and overwhelmed. You can't pour from an empty cup. Make sure you get some time just for you - it's not selfish, it's essential.

Yep!

If this is all relatively new… Consider Perimenopause. If it’s possibly peri, you can research ways forward and then choose to act accordingly, but even just realising what’s happening can be massively helpful in being a bit kinder — first to yourself, then to others. (Wish I had recognised mine and sought help earlier than I did, but my head is much more levelled out these days).

I think very, very often this simmering anger is because the man isn't doing their half of the adulting/domestic work/mental load.

We're conditioned to not question this arrangement, such that we often can't actually see it - it's just 'how things are'. If we do see it, we're conditioned to accept that these are a series of 'petty issues' rather than a structural lack of fairness (and respect) in the relationship. Men are likewise conditioned.

But our inner sense of justice does see it, and does understand it. So we're left with what seems to be, but isn't, a baseless anger.

Someone at my work does this! She’s an absolute trooper. Great approach.

OP sounds like you need some loud music/dance, a glass of wine, a good shag, a good nap, a good book, a good takeaway, a talk with a friend, a beautiful hike, a belly laugh. Whatever brings you some joy to balance out the shite small children bring to your door every day. It gets better. Good luck!

HRT for me, as it was a sign of perimenopause. I found myself getting really anxious, paranoid, easily overwhelmed and triggered by everything. I either felt like I wanted to kill everyone, or everyone was out to kill me. World events are enough to drive anyone to distraction at the moment but coupled with peri it was unbearable. Truly awful. Oestrogen gel & progesterone pills have levelled me out again.

I know exactly what you mean.

I think I've got slightly better... Think it's a combination of my perimenopausal supplement and knowing I'm perimenopausal?! But by god the kids' constant squabbling is pissing me off and my husband does many many things that really annoy me now. Like you say OP I honestly just try to remind myself we are all healthy and have a roof over our head and not sweat the small stuff. Sometimes it helps a little but it's still tough!

Let’s have it right, kids can be tiny annoying wankers. Even when we adore them.

I hated maternity leave.

I hate annual leave at half term.

I adore my kids, but fuck me, I’m not cut out to be a stay at home parents. It SUCKS.

What’s the cure for being entirely human, having limits and reaching them?

Rest. Help. Support.

Are you getting any of those?

Oh my god join the club! This Easter holiday is killing me. DH working away the whole time. Both kids are so full on. I have no suggestions!!! Possibly wine?

More sleep, trying to slow down a bit during the day and speak to GP. This could well be depression at the root of it all. Good luck.