Stop wrapping things up!! (please!)

Change your top op, you stink.
Is that blunt enough?

I loathe the shit sandwich. It just feels condescending (I’m robust enough to take constructive criticism, thank you) and manipulative (we’re all familiar with the concept, managers - this isn’t a subtle technique). Direct, constructive feedback is the way to go. That way, when I do get praise or thanks I will know it’s genuine and I’m not suspecting a ‘but’.

I have a line manager who thinks she has brilliant soft skills, in case it isn’t obvious…

About the top, though.
Was it literally the same top that you wore all week?
Or the same style/brand/colour of top so they couldn’t tell the difference?

If it’s the former, someone was trying to tell you that you smell, and that’s tricky to raise

(I also thought this thread was going to be about packaging/wrapping 😀

I filter things through AI copilot to get to the point of fluffy waffle like this

I agree OP. I feel as if sometimes I’m in a hurry and I’m thinking I’m happy to help you with whatever but just say what you want in one short sentence and stop whittering on.

I dislike it when someone rings me at home and asks me how I am and I know it’s just a preliminary. Just ring and ask the favour/question or if you want to connect properly and chat that’s fine too, but I hate answering knowing they’re just waiting to spit it out and get to the real point of the call.😆

I'm quite blunt... side effect of being raised in an autistic household.

People especially online love to try and start fights over it, it often amazing that I will be say the 20th poster and say exactly the same conclusion as everyone else but get called out personally. 'its the WAY you said it'... ok but I said the same 'message' as everyone else, there was just no double talk you can try to twist to suit your own narrative.

Its always the 'be kind' brigade who are usually the only ones resorting to gossiping, fighting, calling others names and telling people they are not welcome (far from 'kind').

The irony of asking people to be more direct in their communications and using the phrase "wrapping up"!

I get the opposite. I'm always blunt and TBH am probably missing any kind of brain to mouth filter.
People just seem to think it's soooooo funny and quirky🙄
On the one hand I'm sure they think I'm the village idiot but on the other hand I can say whatever the hell I like with impunity!😆

It's interesting. At home I speak in similar ways to my ND DC but at work I'm much more straightforward!

Since you asked…

this is a non problem and you sound quite moany and judgy, especially since you also do the same thing.

Also, wearing the same top to work every day for a week is minging.

I get what you mean. I would cut slack to the lift bit, because people are shy and do not want to impose, so they tie themselves in all sorts of knots, instead of asking straight. They think that asking directly may put you in the spot and you feel like you have to say yes.
The top bit, I just cannot be bothered with people who put their nose in other people's business. If it is untidy, smells or whatever, ok, say. But if it is just because the outfit has been repeated, like a uniform, I mean... whatever it has to do with them?
And the longer reports.... who wants a longer report? That is weird, if that is what they actually want....
I am not sure I could do your job, LOL

I also thought that this was going to be a thread about packaging and how wasteful it is. 😂

There's a sweet spot in between. A lot of people would be demotivated by hearing nothing from their manager about what they'd done well, simply instructions for improvement, and having orders barked at them without any preamble or explanation. However, I agree it's important to be clear. "Your report was very well written, but needs to be longer to include more detail about the November figures" "Bobby has heard what a good time the others had when you took them to the match. If you're going this week, could you take him too please?" "I need you to attend the meeting on Thursday because we will be discussing your project and I think you have the best overview" The jumper one, unless it's your boss telling you you look unkempt or you smell, that doesn't need saying at all.

I’ve never heard this behaviour being described as “wrapping something up”. I thought the thread was going to be about tissue paper and sellotape.

I'm with you.
i'd prefer. Please could you close your legs I can see your knickers, compared to. Is there a draft in here?

I voted YABU because I’m a very blunt woman (relevant as it seems more appreciated as a personality quality in men) and people absolutely hate it, ESPECIALLY in the workplace 😂

The clothes thing sounds to me like the sort of thing someone might be told to say in an attempt to hint that someone smells but doesn’t want to say it….?

Well, I live with one such person. Blunt as a knife. The issue is they are also very negative.
I can reassure you it's very unpleasant.

i am direct but polite. In my last job I had two direct reports and one told me she liked this style and the other got very offended and huffy and said she wanted softer messages as my directness was intimidating. Horses for courses I guess but sometimes you have to adapt to others’ styles and read between the lines/ not take direct requests to be a personal attack!

I find this annoying too, especially when the point is lost in the fluff. I also have managed people who need direct feedback (worded nicely) or they come away thinking there isn’t a problem as they only hear the “you write lovely reports” bit and somehow manage to edit out the “can you make them longer please” bit.

Funnily enough people thank me for giving them direct and clear feedback, whether it’s positive or “constructive” (another thing I hate!)