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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stop wrapping things up!! (please!)

84 replies

ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 16:09

I can't stand it when people wrap things up in a fluffy way to protect your feelings etc..

Examples:

  1. Instead of 'why have you worn the same top every day this week to work?' I was asked "what do you think would be the reason why someone would choose to wear the same clothes each day?" (Externalising the problem, not making about me)
  1. Instead of: 'can you make the reports longer please', I get something like 'I love the way you write. It's so eloquent. I'd love to see a bit more of it and for your reports to be longer. I just love how you end with thought through conclusions (the shit sandwich).
  1. Instead of 'can you take Bobby to the match on saturday'. I get "Oh you're sooo kind. It's really nice of you to take X and Y to football every week. How sweet. Are they going to the match this saturday? Bobby would love to go. You r so lovely I expect you'll be going to support Z..hint hint hint". (The not saying what you want)

I could go on.

I just like blunt people.

I'm a hypocrite because I'm far from blunt myself! But I hate all this wrapping up people do. I don't know where I stand! Sometimes it's hard work to figure out what people actually mean or are actually getting at! Just say it as it is. If you want something, ask. If you don't like something I did, tell me. If you want to know why I do something weird, ask..

Is it just me that finds it really unnerving when people don't just come out and say what they think/want etc..

Grrrr...!!

OP posts:
Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 17/04/2025 23:19

You should meet my daughter… she’s 15 with raging ADHD and other ND issues. She’s that blunt I dread what’s going to come out of her mouth 99% of the time. She saw a
photo of me from when I was 15…. My older daughter was like “oh mum weren’t you cute” youngest daughter said “well you’ve let yourself go mum!”.

The OP has given me ideas to help her “wrap up”. Lol. South Park style “instead of shit say poo” (if Yano Yano).

SpringIsSpringing25 · 17/04/2025 23:13

Addictforanex · 17/04/2025 16:26

I’ve never heard this behaviour being described as “wrapping something up”. I thought the thread was going to be about tissue paper and sellotape.

I thought it was gonna be about people wrapping things up to put them in the bin🤣🤣

Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 23:08

MrsEndeavourMorse · 17/04/2025 20:33

YABU for using the term "wrapping up" and no presents are mentioned

Same, I was expecting a telling off for wrapping up presents and being lectured on the effects it was having on the environment, 😂

Original poster
ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 23:06

MrsEndeavourMorse · 17/04/2025 20:33

YABU for using the term "wrapping up" and no presents are mentioned

Sorry 🎁

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 23:05

Frostynoman · 17/04/2025 20:13

But did you actually smell?

No 🙂

OP posts:
MrsEndeavourMorse · 17/04/2025 20:33

YABU for using the term "wrapping up" and no presents are mentioned

HousedInMySoul · 17/04/2025 20:30

I worked somewhere years ago where my colleague wore trainers without socks and her feet really did stink. The office manager called her in and said 'your fucking feet fucking stink get those fucking trainers in the washer' and that was that problem sorted

GrandHighPoohbah · 17/04/2025 20:25

There is a fine line between blunt and rude. I find most people who describe themselves as "blunt" don't know where that is.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 17/04/2025 20:24

Have you asked people to be more direct with you? In all of your examples there are reasons that people are dancing a round the main message.

The shirt one… they were trying avoid the landmines around appearance, likely odor, and your self consciousness around your size.

The report one… if you’re the same person they had to have a conversation about your appearance and hygiene, you’re likely not in a great place.

The person wanting you to take Bobby next weekend they’re trying to suss out if they’re asking too much.

You might want direct, but you are likely also sending out mixed messages to people. So it’s on you to stop someone when you hear fuzzy and be direct yourself to ask them to get to the point.

Frostynoman · 17/04/2025 20:13

But did you actually smell?

Shitmonger · 17/04/2025 19:55

ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 19:40

Perfect!! 🤣🤣

Show quote history

What about “FFS Driving, wear something else tomorrow. I’m sick of looking at that shirt of yours.” 😆

Original poster
ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 19:41

MySweetGeorgina · 17/04/2025 18:26

Move to Holland

seriously

nobody wraps anything up ever 😁

”would you like a drink?”

“No”

”bobby would love to see the football on Sunday but it’s such a shame I cannot take him? (Hint hint)

”well I hope you do not expect me to take him”

it can be a bit brutal😁

I think I'd love it there!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 19:41

Gwenhwyfar · 17/04/2025 18:23

I live in Belgium and my advice is...move to the Netherlands. Bluntest people in the world, although the Germans try hard. You're in the wrong place.

Might just do that!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 19:40

Fairyliz · 17/04/2025 17:59

Change your top op, you stink.
Is that blunt enough?

Perfect!! 🤣🤣

OP posts:
threenaancurrywhore · 17/04/2025 18:48

Why do some people use unusual phrasing in thread titles so you think it’s going to be about one thing, such as wasteful gift packaging, but it turns out to actually be about something else?

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/04/2025 18:48

MySweetGeorgina · 17/04/2025 18:26

Move to Holland

seriously

nobody wraps anything up ever 😁

”would you like a drink?”

“No”

”bobby would love to see the football on Sunday but it’s such a shame I cannot take him? (Hint hint)

”well I hope you do not expect me to take him”

it can be a bit brutal😁

Germany too!

Screamingabdabz · 17/04/2025 18:33

I’m with you op. People will claim it ‘softens the message’ or is ‘more palatable’ or is a ‘more positive way to communicate’. I say you’re either bullshitting or wasting my time. Do me a fucking favour - we are not five, speak like an adult and just get to the point.

MySweetGeorgina · 17/04/2025 18:26

Move to Holland

seriously

nobody wraps anything up ever 😁

”would you like a drink?”

“No”

”bobby would love to see the football on Sunday but it’s such a shame I cannot take him? (Hint hint)

”well I hope you do not expect me to take him”

it can be a bit brutal😁

CordialVsSquash · 17/04/2025 18:23

ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 16:12

I particularly find it annoying at work. I work with a load of psychologists and they are by far the worst. It drives me insane. Stop trying to protect me (it's patronising for one thing!) just tell me straight!!!

Ha ha @ILoveDrivingYey I think the problem is that you work with psychologists who must be more conscious of their speech than others 🤷‍♀️

Gwenhwyfar · 17/04/2025 18:23

I live in Belgium and my advice is...move to the Netherlands. Bluntest people in the world, although the Germans try hard. You're in the wrong place.

Smallmercies · 17/04/2025 18:20

ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 16:09

I can't stand it when people wrap things up in a fluffy way to protect your feelings etc..

Examples:

  1. Instead of 'why have you worn the same top every day this week to work?' I was asked "what do you think would be the reason why someone would choose to wear the same clothes each day?" (Externalising the problem, not making about me)
  1. Instead of: 'can you make the reports longer please', I get something like 'I love the way you write. It's so eloquent. I'd love to see a bit more of it and for your reports to be longer. I just love how you end with thought through conclusions (the shit sandwich).
  1. Instead of 'can you take Bobby to the match on saturday'. I get "Oh you're sooo kind. It's really nice of you to take X and Y to football every week. How sweet. Are they going to the match this saturday? Bobby would love to go. You r so lovely I expect you'll be going to support Z..hint hint hint". (The not saying what you want)

I could go on.

I just like blunt people.

I'm a hypocrite because I'm far from blunt myself! But I hate all this wrapping up people do. I don't know where I stand! Sometimes it's hard work to figure out what people actually mean or are actually getting at! Just say it as it is. If you want something, ask. If you don't like something I did, tell me. If you want to know why I do something weird, ask..

Is it just me that finds it really unnerving when people don't just come out and say what they think/want etc..

Grrrr...!!

Were you wearing smelly clothes? I'm in Vienna, and I keep seeing/smelling the same woman at every goddamn tourist attraction. She stinks of sweat and is wearing the same top still after 5 days. Yeucchhh.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 17/04/2025 18:17

Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 17/04/2025 17:38

I agree OP. I feel as if sometimes I’m in a hurry and I’m thinking I’m happy to help you with whatever but just say what you want in one short sentence and stop whittering on.

I dislike it when someone rings me at home and asks me how I am and I know it’s just a preliminary. Just ring and ask the favour/question or if you want to connect properly and chat that’s fine too, but I hate answering knowing they’re just waiting to spit it out and get to the real point of the call.😆

My mum cuts through the how’re you and says what do you want 😂😂

Ophy83 · 17/04/2025 18:17

I was rather looking forward to a thread about wrapping paper and alternative eco options! But I do agree about asking straightforward questions

EmeraldRoulette · 17/04/2025 18:16

I also thought this was going to be about wrapping paper

@ILoveDrivingYey one of my neighbours has a very expensive capsule wardrobe. I just assumed that she had several cream blouses etc. But then she told me that she does a quick wash and dry of the same item nearly every day. And when I got to know her and I went round there, it was all in the wash in the bathtub.

It made me realise that if I tried capsule wardrobe, people would think I was wearing the same thing every day and may think I haven't washed it!

Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 18:08

ILoveDrivingYey · 17/04/2025 16:12

I particularly find it annoying at work. I work with a load of psychologists and they are by far the worst. It drives me insane. Stop trying to protect me (it's patronising for one thing!) just tell me straight!!!

Very patronising and a bit idiotic of them to think you can’t see through it so there is no point saying it in the first place

If someone does it to you say the in wrapped version back to them as a question
I do that sometimes and they usually just mumble a bit and then say ‘yeah’

I also prefer it when people just get to the point, some people go about saying things it such a long winded manner they are just annoying to listen to, same with e/mails, a really long winded e-mail when the point could have been made in a couple of sentences, no one has time to read unnecessarily long e-mails