Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asda driver STILL moaning at me about a visit in January

165 replies

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:44

I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or not so would you give me opinions on this please:

So for background I work from home and often have to use the phone for work, especially first thing when the business opens at 9 am for the first half hour or so it's generally busy that way.

I've been using Asda deliveries weekly for 6 or 7 years or so now, and always have the same 10-11 am slot unless work need me to go out on an appointment, then I move it to the next day.

All the drivers have been great and super polite and if on occasion they've come early it's been no problem, they apologise and I just don't mind as I'm usually right there anyway and whenever it's happened, which isn't too often, by chance I haven't been on the phone or out at an early work appointment

So back in early January one driver came half an hour early, at 9.30 am ish but this time although I'd booked a day off for a funeral I was in the shower getting ready for a funeral thinking it was ages until the shopping and instead, of just knocking on and then waiting he banged and banged and I rushed my arse off to get out and dress myself, meanwhile he was banging loudly and ringing my phone over and over, I scrambled to the door and said 'Sorry i was getting ready for a funeral today and I booked the 10 - 11 am slot' and instead of apologising for being so early he said "I thought it wasn't like you not to have your act together!' I squinted at him and said 'Well there's always a chance I wouldn't be free to take a delivery at this time anyway because I'm often on work calls but it's always worth knocking of you're early it's just that I can't guarantee to answer until about 9.45 am ish when the morning rush dies down or I could be still out for a work appointment until then'

So still no apology or 'Ok I understand' he was actually a bit annoyed he said 'Yes but we can come 19 minutes early that's in the rules' I said 'Really I'll have another look on the website, sorry I didn't know that, but it's actually tricky for me to stay off the phone for that long in the early part of the morning' (I did look and it doesn't say that at all as far as I can see, so he might have made it up, and also he was half an hour early and banging the door down which I doubt is allowed). Anyway then he suddenly just started chatting nicely, he mentioned my going to the funeral and he was saying he isn't allowed time off for a funeral unless it's immediate family and his stepdad didn't count so he couldn't go' so I just felt really sorry for him then and just forgot about it, but I was slightly worried if I was ever stuck on the phone with client, if they can come that early and just knocking and banging like that and then moan at me! Anyway I soon just forgot about it altogether and assumed he was probably sorry when he'd thought about it.

But he came again this week with a woman (they were working together), I didn't recognise him because I'd forgotten all about it and it was months ago, but he immediately reminded me in the same sort on moany tone (in front of her) that last time he'd come 15 minutes early (he didn't, he'd actually come half an hour early) and 'You were in the shower, not ready!" I said 'Oh yes I remember, it was the day of the funeral and you came very early' he said 'I was running VERY early you see, and I would have been just waiting and waiting round the corner' I said 'Oh yes I understand, and it's fine usually and definitely worth knocking on with me, because I usually wfh but sometimes if you're very early, I won't be able to get off a work call at that time or I might be out on an appointment but I'll ALWAYS be back well before the slot booked, (he'd clearly forgotten that I'd explained this before) then he started just chatting again, changing the subject and being alright with me again.

So because he'd remembered it all this time and brought it up again to moan at me FOUR MONTHS later (at what I felt was a non-issue), I feel a bit more bothered by it this time, so the point is I've written a note on the delivery notes just explaining my situation (basically a short version of what I said to him both times, that if they are running very early, it's definitely worth knocking on and is normally fine and I'm usually ok to receive it, but I might still be on a work call at that time, and not able to get off the phone or even still out at a work appointment, so please don't keep knocking and ringing the phone if you arrive very early, but that I'll always be ready by about 9.45 am once the busy period at work is usually over.

It's obviously meant as a message just for him really if he does come again, because he'd forgotten that I'd explained all that to him last time and he was still openly annoyed with me about funeral day which bothers me a bit, i just don't want him banging the door and whinging at me again, but since it's never been necessary to spell any of that out for all those years before with any of the other drivers, I wondered what they would make of that message because it's now on there for all of them? What do you think? Is it patronising to them explain my position? Does it come over like I'm stating the obvious (because I'm assuming most of their other customers are in the same position as myself ie wfh and plan their spot around working)? If you are a delivery driver would you roll your eyes at that note and think OMG this is literally my job, bloody hell, I KNOW!, or just think 'Ok that's fine, thanks for the heads up, I won't keep banging on the door if I'm really early'?

Sorry that was a bit long, not busy today, and fully available for a delivery right now if I had one :-)

Oh one other thing, ASDA normally text with a rough ETA on the morning of the delivery but they don't on his days for some reason.

I won't put a poll because it's just the question, shall I take the delivery note off or not?

OP posts:
consistentlyinconsistent · 17/04/2025 16:25

Gosh, a thread of first world problems!

HiRen · 17/04/2025 16:25

Before you all ask me who I get my groceries from, I don't live in the UK.

If ever my delivery comes outside my 2 hours delivery window I get a full refund of the entire shop. I felt bad after the third time it happened because I figure it's going to come out of the driver's wages at some point, so now I only ask for a refund on frozen and fridge items (I'm not going to pay for liquid ice cream and lollies, and sweaty cheese etc).

Thinking about it, it hasn't happened in a while now. Maybe the message has got through.

fatgirlswims · 17/04/2025 16:23

Screamingabdabz · 17/04/2025 14:57

If you book 10-11 that’s when I’d expect it to be delivered and I wouldn't take any of their ‘we can be early’ bullshit. If I was amenable to an early call, fine, but his creating a hullabaloo on the morning of a funeral would’ve resulted in robust words and possibly a complaint. You’re the customer and you’re entitled to a bit of customer service. You sound far too accommodating.

Correct

I’d call and complain he sounds awful. The way he spoke to you yesterday is also awful. He sound incredibly arrogant.

10-11 means 10-11 and banging and calling repeatedly is dreadful behaviour.

Id be pissed and overthinking this too. You haven’t done anything wrong. He is the dick.

midlifeattheoasis · 17/04/2025 16:23

EBoo80 · 17/04/2025 14:47

You are massively overthinking this whole situation.

Agree

Whynotaxthisyear · 17/04/2025 16:23

You are really annoyed with him so best either complain to ASDA saying that you don't want that driver again (if you are OK with getting him into trouble), or move to an evening slot where punctuality won't matter so much and it's likely to be a different driver, or change supermarkets. You've explained many times and he's taken no notice so I wouldn't carry on doing that.

borntoblossom · 17/04/2025 16:19

Asda can get fucked, I boycotted their online service a few months ago after years of being a loyal customer. Literally any other supermarket is better for online deliveries or click and collect.

Misspotterer · 17/04/2025 16:14

Why are you getting a delivery when you're meant to be working? Surely you have to stop working to accept the delivery and then put it away?
Just choose a slot outside your working hours 🤷. Sounds like literally any other slot would be more suitable.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 16:14

Moier · 17/04/2025 16:05

Try Sainsbury's.
They even bring it in for you and put on your table or kitchen work top.
ASDA are awful... used twice never again.
I have a huge sign on my door with the blue disabled logo that says a disabled person lives here.. please be patient..l also have disabled hand rails leading all way up to the door.
Do ASDA delivery people read it??? Big fat NO! Knock knock knock.
Banging.. shouting.. ringing bell..
When l finally get to the door to answer.. holding my zimmer.. l point to the sign.
He just shrugs his shoulders.. l asked why he took no notice of the sign..
His reply " l didn't know if it was fake or not" 🤷‍♀️ couldn't make it up.
Thought I'd give ASDA benefit of the doubt used them again . Same thing happened again this time he said he can't treat customers differently and all are allocated a certain time and he was behind already.. he wouldn't even bring my shopping in ..so l told him to take it all back.
Asked his name.. and put in a complaint.
ASDA gave me a £5 voucher off my next on line order..
Can't make it up.
Sainsbury's and Ocardo all the time for me now.
You need to report him OP.

Aw Moier that is a terrible and really mean way to treat you! No empathy whatsoever!

OP posts:
ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/04/2025 16:12

Eggtoastie · 17/04/2025 15:46

Someone who is dealing with a customer who tells them they are going to a funeral and turns that round into a conversation about the time he couldn't go to a funeral is being massively entitled and needs some re-training.

@Eggtoastie for avoidance of doubt I completely agree with you - it was just a silly attempt at a joke!

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 16:11

NotYoCheese · 17/04/2025 16:03

@TheJoySpreader
See, I think this means he's maybe not allowed to be more than 20 minutes early, and this is how he's interpreted it...

That’s probably what he thought isn’t it, and then from our point of view if there actually was a bigger window then that would be the slot appearing on the website, they’d have to tell us that so we could be ready, but he’s thought it means that

He was still half an hour early though so still was wrong to bang on the door and complain 😁

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 17/04/2025 16:10

EBoo80 · 17/04/2025 14:47

You are massively overthinking this whole situation.

She is not! If you book a certain time, it’s for a reason. Asda, and any other store should stick to the proper booked time!

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/04/2025 16:09

Eggtoastie · 17/04/2025 15:57

I didn't say that?

Oh I know, it’s just that on Mumsnet people say it all the time. For all sorts of randomness…!

ItsBouqeeeet · 17/04/2025 16:09

NotYoCheese · 17/04/2025 16:03

@TheJoySpreader
See, I think this means he's maybe not allowed to be more than 20 minutes early, and this is how he's interpreted it...

This

Differentforgirls · 17/04/2025 16:05

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/04/2025 15:30

You definitely need more work; your post was so boring that I glazed over halfway through! 🤣🤣🤣

But felt the need to reply 🙄

Moier · 17/04/2025 16:05

Try Sainsbury's.
They even bring it in for you and put on your table or kitchen work top.
ASDA are awful... used twice never again.
I have a huge sign on my door with the blue disabled logo that says a disabled person lives here.. please be patient..l also have disabled hand rails leading all way up to the door.
Do ASDA delivery people read it??? Big fat NO! Knock knock knock.
Banging.. shouting.. ringing bell..
When l finally get to the door to answer.. holding my zimmer.. l point to the sign.
He just shrugs his shoulders.. l asked why he took no notice of the sign..
His reply " l didn't know if it was fake or not" 🤷‍♀️ couldn't make it up.
Thought I'd give ASDA benefit of the doubt used them again . Same thing happened again this time he said he can't treat customers differently and all are allocated a certain time and he was behind already.. he wouldn't even bring my shopping in ..so l told him to take it all back.
Asked his name.. and put in a complaint.
ASDA gave me a £5 voucher off my next on line order..
Can't make it up.
Sainsbury's and Ocardo all the time for me now.
You need to report him OP.

NotYoCheese · 17/04/2025 16:03

@TheJoySpreader
See, I think this means he's maybe not allowed to be more than 20 minutes early, and this is how he's interpreted it...

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/04/2025 16:00

Switch to Ocado or Waitrose. I've had both of those arrive early and they've called first to ask if it's OK - when I asked the Ocado driver what would have happened if I hadn't just been walking round the corner, he said 'no problem, I'd have just had a coffee in the van and waited for you'.

pimplebum · 17/04/2025 15:59

Sweet Jesus op that is a very long involved post about nothing

the poor man is just making ( crap , cack handed) conversation and it’s come across rude but his job is obviously very very boring to remember details of your life

give it no more thought, it’s a non issue

Eggtoastie · 17/04/2025 15:57

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/04/2025 15:53

“maybe he is on the spectrum…”

LOLZ

I didn't say that?

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:57

Flamingknees I guess that's right, but as long as he doesn't do anymore banging though as I can't be on the phone with all that going on and I think a lot of people are in my shoes and wouldn't appreciate that

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:54

mindutopia that's what I always thought, that they can ask to be early but I only HAVE to be ready during the slot, I do think he's a bit nuts

Bloody hell, I am shocked that that guy drove off with your shopping and thought that was ok!

OP posts:
Flamingoknees · 17/04/2025 15:53

I think it's just chat and you are taking his chat too seriously. Stop explaining yourself. Just laugh and say "flamin' eck, are you still moanin, ha, ha" and move on.
You seem to be massively over thinking a non event.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/04/2025 15:53

Eggtoastie · 17/04/2025 15:46

Someone who is dealing with a customer who tells them they are going to a funeral and turns that round into a conversation about the time he couldn't go to a funeral is being massively entitled and needs some re-training.

“maybe he is on the spectrum…”

LOLZ

LoveFridaynight · 17/04/2025 15:52

Ask if you can not have him as your driver and why.
They can come early but they usually send a message to say they'll be early but not to worry they'll wait for you.
I would be majorly pissed off with him banging on the door while in the shower.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:50

Shoalshark, You are right about the 'too much info thing with me' I'm not always, but it definitely depends on how busy I am, some days I'm very brief when I'm busy, but I definitely can waffle on about unnecessary shite sometimes

I haven't spoken to any other drivers very much because I do want to be quick, I think I was too much on the defensive both times with him

OP posts: