BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

Sounds like something and nothing to me. Really not something I could even vaguely get worked up about, let alone still be thinking of months later.

Perhaps she was very nervous - I’d give her another chance but keep a watchful eye.
Tbh at the next meeting I would be so tempted to make up some outlandish story about wildlife - how hedgehogs mate 🤣 or foxes wear foxgloves on their paws in April…..but of course I’d be worried about be weird so wouldn’t 🤣

She sounds really childish. Does she not know about animals and seasons and that lots of creatures have young around springtime? Also foxes shagging is a very specific noise. If you've heard it once you'll recognised it forever more?!

I wouldn't avoid going to the pub with them over it. She may be daft, immature, or was very nervous, and trying to make a joke that went wrong. If it turns out she's a twat on further meetings then fine, you can just arrange to meet him alone. But for now I'd say remain open minded.

My SIL used to live in London and she knew the sounds of mating foxes. She also saw them at it one day.

If you meet up with them one more time and she is still rude, then you can rule out first time meeting awkwardness. If everyone heard what she said to you, then I don't understand why they all don't think she's rude. There was a partner of a friend of my ex's that I used to dread being left alone with. SO rude - but usually when nobody else was there. (In the end I told my ex that in future I would not be looking after the kids with his mate's wife while the 2 blokes went to the pub.)

That's a strange twist on what happened.
As I said above I can hear foxes mating at night too and I like knowing there are foxes in the woods. Geese make a lot of noise too in the mating season. That doesn't mean I have an unnatural interest in animal sex.

She's the weird one but she might turn out to be OK when you get to know her.

I also go to bed to the sound of foxes mating. It isn't weird to know what's happening.

Let it go this time eh.

Not her fault she's a townie.
I think I would have said to my kids, "Its the foxes calling to each other" That would have been enough.

A foxes mating cry sounds like a woman being attacked. When you hear that for the first time in the middle of the night, you check what it is.

This is clearly the best option.

She sounds quite immature / awkward herself. I think it says more about her than you.
I’d try to let it go/make an effort for the sake of your brother.

This

I’m always in two minds about this. She does sound like she’s super socially awkward. Which one can have empathy for - but also you’re not a social worker who exists to make people feel better all the time (don’t set yourself on fire to warm someone else up etc)

I’d probably go - but set the intention that you’re not going to take anything she says seriously unless she brings a more adult version of herself (which she hopefully will in a more neutral space that’s the pub vs your home)

Sounds like there are a severe lack of social skills all round, so you may well be ideal future friends. Try again, be friendly, see what happens.

@comeandhaveteawithme

I don't think you're being oversensitive, no one likes being laughed at. But I also think you should give her another chance. She may be an absolute jerk or she may just have been nervous or having an 'off' night.

Just be yourself and see what happens.

PS, FWIW when she said you were 'weird' I probably would have said "Really? It's 'weird' to be interested in nature? That's odd".

She sounds incredibly immature and also quite bitchy. Did she laugh at anything any of the men said? I bet she didn't. Picked on you in your own house. I'd be thoroughly unimpressed as well, OP. But she's your BIL's GF, so there's nothing you can do about it.

I live in a city centre with many urban foxes and everyone knows what a vixen sounds like when she wants to mate. Not weird at all, but she is!

OP is not obliged to put up with a moron simply because her husband wants to spend time with his brother. How absurd.

Don’t waste your time, OP.

She sounds dumb, but it's a bit early to write her off.

If you live in an area with foxes, you know what it sounds like because the first time you hear it is terrifying

Eh? No, it's not. Anyone interested in animals would know, and OP would probably know even if she wasn't interested, since the foxes keep getting it on near her house each year!

They should go to a Premier Inn.

I think you can give her another chance just for the benefit of your husband. But she was rude, she’s clearly not that shy if she’s got enough confidence to be laughing at you and calling you weird. I wouldn’t just give her the benefit of the doubt that she was socially awkward either, maybe she felt she was too cool for school and didn’t get involved due to some feelings of superiority. Who knows.

I think she was rude, but go anyway, see what she’s like this time and you will get a better sense of who she is and if you can be civil with one another for the sake of any future family get togethers

I'm sorry but what you said is VERY FUNNY, I laughed out loud when I read this. For you it's common, but I've never heard anyone saying they enjoy hearing animals mate.

I don't think she did it with a bad intention though.

If it was me, meeting a potential sister in law, I would have laughed internally, then gossip with the boyfriend at home about it. I wouldn't have laughed in your face because I don't know you enough to know if you'd get offended.

If you were my friend, I would have laughed out loud, spill the drink and all. You seem like you're funny.

Don't take it seriously.