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AIBU?

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BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

312 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 17/04/2025 12:29

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

OP posts:
Marmiteontoastgirlie · 17/04/2025 17:03

She sounds like an absolute bore, people who label things as weird are usual dull, boring and immature, or literally teenagers. She could just be very immature hence the silence and shyness. Because it’s your brother you can’t really avoid him forever so I’d just give her another chance. Try to ponder how you may have inadvertently offended many times in your life and lots of people would have given you grace and the benefit of the doubt. Pay that forward with her.

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:02

2JFDIYOLO · 17/04/2025 16:14

Give her another chance. She may have been incredibly nervous and awkward with no idea how to talk to new people. It can be stressful meeting partner's family.

You may find it easier. Try making it easier for her - and give her another chance. She may have improved.

Of course if she continues to act weird, try asking kindly 'are you ok? You seem upset' (or whatever).

And if it goes on ... You don't have to associate with her. It's not compulsory.

You'll have had a go.

Ofgs.

It’s not the OP’s job to facilitate this woman’s social life!

Mudkipper · 17/04/2025 17:02

I wouldn't go. She sounds a bit dull and uneducated.

Pomegranatecarnage · 17/04/2025 17:00

Bababear987 · 17/04/2025 12:38

Give her another chance, what are you going to do just never be around her again? She was probably just being weird cause she was nervous.

Although tbh I'd find it a little weird that you said it was a foxs mating cry. I dont know why and wouldnt say it to your face but I do think it's just an odd thing to be able to identify and be interested in when animals mate.

I think it’s weird not to know about indigenous animals!

mindutopia · 17/04/2025 17:00

Actually, if someone had said that to me, I would have laughed really hard and taken it as a compliment. It IS a bit weird and it’s great. It feels like she was trying to insert herself into conversation by making a joke, but did it a bit awkwardly, and you happen to be someone who can’t laugh at themselves easily.

JHound · 17/04/2025 16:59

Enrichetta · 17/04/2025 16:17

That's not what I said!

By her own admission, the OP went on and on about the mating calls and habits of horny foxes. Not the end of the world but just a bit off colour in the presence of someone she had never met before.

I think you should read OP again.

SantasLargerHelper · 17/04/2025 16:56

Sleepinggreyhounds · 17/04/2025 12:39

I think go, but look up a whole load of sex-related animal facts and drop them randomly into the conversation.

Brilliant idea. I went to a zoo in Fuerteventura and they had the sex lives of each animal on the list of interesting facts which definitely made the zoo more interesting.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 17/04/2025 16:50

I would be pissed off too! I don't think she was being very pleasant and I wouldn't want to spend time with her again.

Pemba · 17/04/2025 16:50

She sounds immature, and socially inept, also thick. How old is she?

However, if BIL is keeping her around, you should probably give her another chance. Good luck!

BronteFan88 · 17/04/2025 16:38

You’re not being unreasonable. Her behaviour was the height of rudeness. I wouldn’t put up with comments like that from a child, never mind a fully-grown woman. It astonishes me that people are so quick to pull out the “socially awkward” excuse for what is simply rude behaviour. The bar for social standards is in the gutter.

GoldBeautifulHeart · 17/04/2025 16:32

Bababear987 · 17/04/2025 12:38

Give her another chance, what are you going to do just never be around her again? She was probably just being weird cause she was nervous.

Although tbh I'd find it a little weird that you said it was a foxs mating cry. I dont know why and wouldnt say it to your face but I do think it's just an odd thing to be able to identify and be interested in when animals mate.

Because it sounds like a woman screaming so yes I've looked out thinking a woman was being attacked and realised it was foxes. So I also know how they sound. Are you immune to wild life around you? We get foxes and their babies running around in our city communal garden and they are beautiful. But I'm obviously going to look out of the window in concern. It is quite a perculiar noise and if you'd heard it then you'd maybe understand.

Myfluffyblanket · 17/04/2025 16:31

@Agapornis From your username I'm guessing you're more into Aga sex.
OP I found your fox-facts interesting.

Skye99 · 17/04/2025 16:31

Talipesmum · 17/04/2025 15:06

You should give her another chance. I don’t think you said anything weird re the foxes, so you’re not BU for that. But it would be unreasonable not to go and meet her in a pub when invited. She’s not a total random who you have no call to socialise with - she’s your DH’s brother’s girlfriend and so there’s always a chance she might be around for some time. Even immature people can grow up. As the “mature” one you should go out with them.

This. She was rude, but I'd see how she is next time. You could always say 'That sounded rude' if she does it again.

Sunholidays · 17/04/2025 16:27

She's the weird one but I'd give her another chance.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 17/04/2025 16:26

comeandhaveteawithme · 17/04/2025 14:52

Yeah, exactly, I don't hide in the woods with a pair of binoculars hoping to spy them then go home and watch my secret videos alone in my bedroom 😄

I just hear a nature noise and think "yay, it's fucking freezing and depressing right now but it will soon be spring!"

So are you going to give her another chance and go to the event or skip? 😂

Agapornis · 17/04/2025 16:25

She sounds really boring.

Go, and tell her about other animals' sex lives because she seemed really interested last time 😈 Ducks and their vaginas with multiple dead-end tunnels. Snails and their love darts. Gay penguins. Fish changing sex. Show her some tortoise sex noises.

In my wildlife friendly circles these are all perfectly acceptable topics of conversation.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/7rE_FG2xauA?feature=shared

MillyHilly99 · 17/04/2025 16:23

I think she's socially awkward and probably wanted the ground to swallow her up when she said that.

whatsappdoc · 17/04/2025 16:20

She said That's weird or You're weird? I think she was just saying what a weird fact to know. It came out wrong or you misunderstood.

LadeOde · 17/04/2025 16:18

Not sure why so many are making excuses for her. She's is rude, and has no manners. Brace yourself, @OP she is unlikely to change.

Enrichetta · 17/04/2025 16:17

JHound · 17/04/2025 15:49

What on earth is awkward about saying to your son that the loud screeches he can hear is just the Fox mating calls.

That's not what I said!

By her own admission, the OP went on and on about the mating calls and habits of horny foxes. Not the end of the world but just a bit off colour in the presence of someone she had never met before.

Thulpelly · 17/04/2025 16:14

I would have laughed this off/not been offended AT ALL, would have treated it like an ice-breaker!

2JFDIYOLO · 17/04/2025 16:14

Give her another chance. She may have been incredibly nervous and awkward with no idea how to talk to new people. It can be stressful meeting partner's family.

You may find it easier. Try making it easier for her - and give her another chance. She may have improved.

Of course if she continues to act weird, try asking kindly 'are you ok? You seem upset' (or whatever).

And if it goes on ... You don't have to associate with her. It's not compulsory.

You'll have had a go.

canthavethatonethen · 17/04/2025 16:14

One is inclined to think it's the GF who's the weird one. And a bit thick too. With a case of foot-in-mouth disease.

CatsWhiskerz · 17/04/2025 16:13

I'm a scientist / biologist so frequently speak like you do to explain things to the kids, along with frog screams and birds 'fighting' ... I suspect the new GF was a bit nervy

pimplebum · 17/04/2025 16:11

Sounds just like the sort of thing I’d say and I say a whole lot if embarrassing shite in social settings

It is funny , I’d laugh at what you said but I’d only call you weird if we were best buddies

go with an open mind and really try to put her at ease and get to know her , you may come away confirming what you think , but you may make a lifelong sister in law