BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

Yeah, honestly, what the GF said smacked of nasty rather than social awkwardness or ND

Great, glad you cleared that up.

No because I'm neurodivergent and we aren't bloody stupid or necessarily rude.

I also love foxes and wildlife in general so I think this is very cool! Also you’re stating a fact to ease your DS mind that he’s not hearing ghosts or people screaming! But obviously she doesn’t find it that interesting I don’t know about you but I don’t usually get along with people who don’t like animals haha

Bet you feel vindicated now!

So, in short, suspected knobhead confirms theory.

So behind the drinking there were probably a lot of other issues that led her to say that strange comment to you

Sometimes alcoholics can be very bitter people

That is simultaneously an ‘oh dear’ and a ‘thank goodness’ update!

@comeandhaveteawithme how did the meet up go this time (if you want to talk about it some more, of course)?

‘Specific and unnecessary’? Snort. Perhaps the OP should have said the fixes were having singing lessons.

Why?

Foxes also disappear for most of January too and no one knows why or where they go, same with the vixen mating call. Foxes do some interesting and little known things. Perhaps OPs DC is interested in wildlife? Even if he isn't if your DC is scared why wouldn't you tell them the reason behind the scary noise, it gives context and a good reason not to be scared.

That animals have sex and different mating behaviours isn't weird neither is speaking about it.

I live in the country and the foxes are always bloody barking to each other but I don't think I've ever heard them doing a mating call. I just listened to it on youtube and think I would've remembered it I mean wow no wonder your son was scared!

I feel like the gf maybe took the meaning of mating call too literally. Although saying "they always mate at the end of January" is a bit specific and unnecessary imo.

Like many others I've met plenty of socially awkward, nervous people, and plenty of rude people too. From what you wrote OP this woman was the latter and just utterly rude to you in your own home, there is no excuse for calling you weird and making fun like that. Being nervous or socially awkard is not an excuse to be rude to anyone about anything, you aren't being touchy she made a very judgemental and ignorant remark to you twice.

We spend too much time as women being nice to rude people for the sake of others.

Well I think she sounds like a 12 year old and I don’t think you’re being sensitive but I’m too old to tolerate people I don’t like. It depends if you want to carry on a relationship with your BIL or if you think she’ll be around long term. She could have been nervous but screeching laughing at someone is just plain rude and childish. Mean girl vibes for me.

Give her one more chance and if she says odd things again you know that's on her and not just initial social awkwardness.

I wonder if she's from.the city and never heard foxes and she perhaps genuinely thought it was weird. I hear foxes/see foxes here all the time so know completely what you are saying (cats doing it to makes a racket!!) but some people have no experience or interest in wildlife so to her it may have been a strange conversation.

Maybe let it go this time and see how you get on next time.

For some reason I keep going back to this thread and scanning it. I have already posted that I think the GF was rude saying OP is weird. But, in OPs position, I would never have said anything about fox mating. I would have said it’s only foxes making a noise/fighting or whatever. Perhaps someone who’s just met your family might be slightly embarrassed?
However, GF definitely should not have pulled her face and made the “weird” comment - both were a bit rude.

Ooooh - a bit mean.

Yes I agree, she sounds socially awkward and could be shy and actually comes out with rubbish. Sometimes I find silence can be your friend too, when people come out with weird crap just give a hard stare (think Paddington when someone forgets their manners), ignore and cut across them and change the topic of conversation. This may need to happen a couple of times to get their comments are not welcome.

and yes strange, when meeting people for the first few times and esp in their house it is odd behaviour, but in case they go the distance it maybe prudent to just prepare yourself for her off comments and how you deal with than not see her.

learn hard stares
quiet comebacks
find it ok to say you find her comment strange to say in company of others
or laugh off her comments and say “I think that strange to comment on like that”.

Bababear987 · 17/04/2025 12:38
Give her another chance, what are you going to do just never be around her again? She was probably just being weird cause she was nervous.
Although tbh I'd find it a little weird that you said it was a foxs mating cry. I dont know why and wouldnt say it to your face but I do think it's just an odd thing to be able to identify and be interested in when animals mate.

What? Are your being serious?

Don't you notice when birds are nesting, or when the lambs appear in the fields? Are you not aware of what happens in spring in the northern hemisphere? Do you ever leave your house, or look up from your screen and smell the coffee, the flowers and the breeze? Jeez.

This is MN - where I assume a pretty good level of education from posters, but this has been an eye-opener for me. Grown people who think it's weird to be well-informed about the natural world??

We're in more trouble than we thought when it comes to saving the planet, it seems.

Bit of an odd thing to say, that you like hearing foxes mating, but I agree with the sentiment that noises like that are a sign spring is here.

The woman who laughed was extremely rude and could have easily either kept her thoughts to herself or worded it better

She probably has normal, nice ones but not rude ones with crap social skills.