For having reacted the way I did when I caught my 14 year old daughter’s…

OP, when I was about 16, my boyfriend snuck out of his house, climbed onto the garage under my window, knocked and came in, at around 2am. We then made a bit of a habit of it. We weren't having sex. We were snogging and more, a way short of sex, and generally enjoying being alone together without being constantly monitored. We had a loving, respectful, consensual relationship. We started having sex at some point, but only when we were in the sixth form and guaranteed an empty house during the day.

I was a sweet, largely responsible girl, who worked hard, had a weekend job, volunteered and did well in her exams.

I don't have any parenting advice as it's not my forte, but just wanted to add to the voices saying she'll probably be fine.

No, I don’t think it’s all a laugh.

But humiliating the pair of them with getting the school involved or wasting police time (if they would even come out), isn’t going to help.

Teens have been shagging in secret long before social media, it doesn’t sound like they have been bullied in to it.

Jesus can you learn to read? It’s in the OP! I think you need to get off MN yourself and maybe hire a tutor for some lessons in fluency and comprehension.

To be informed. Social media bullying and pressure happens. If they do nothing then at least they were informed. This is what I would do. You might be in the drive him home category and think it all a laugh.

For heavens sake.

The police would do nothing. The school would do nothing.

What exactly would you like or expect them to do?

They are both 14 its highly unlikely hes going to have much if any previous sexual experience.

The school can be informed in case of behavioural changes, bullying etc happening there. This is a problem of a 14yr old inviting a boy into her room without the parents knowledge. Luckily they found out. It’s a risk she took and who knows what the result would have been. I’d tackle it from all directions.

The fact that the OP might have to organise a smear test for the daughter came to mind - it only takes one partner carrying HPV. (Although she might have had the HPV inoculation?)

Honestly, at that age the thought of having to endure a smear test would have put me off sex for life.

What do you think the police will do?
They are both minors so if they are having sex they are both having sex with a minor
Why would you humiliate your child by involving school ,what can they do?

Exactly...

But not surprised being MN that it's the boy that's probably forcing the girl into it.

Reading threads on here of late seems long gone are the days of girls being made of sugar and spice.

As a parent I would focus on the safety of my child. The op has a 14 yr old girl with a boy in her room at night parents not asked. I’d be checking out all angles. Social media bullying/threats/ pressure is a big one I’d be following up on. I’d involve the police, other parents and school.

Give your own head a wobble there is no suggestion the girl is being abused other than in your head ,they are BOTH 14

Yup. He was willing to cycle to the OP's home in the dark and - presumably - intended to cycle back before the OP woke up...He merely left a bit earlier than he'd anticipated.

Oh - carried away me? Check you sticking up for potential abuse of the 14yr girl by thinking it carried away to report the matter. Have a think - more than a head wobble.

The op has repeatedly said there is no pressure .

There is nothing to suggest he has you are just getting carried away with yourself

• I’d be concerned about pressure put on the girl.

You never know.

She was the sweetest loveliest dd, to keep you onside and use your naivety to hoodwink you, to have nookey with her boyfriend. Or do you think he co-erced her into it, which is another thing altogether. If you believe the sentence: I know that a lot of her friends are doing similar things and her best friend is sleeping with her boyfriend and apparently her mum is ok about it leads me to believe you believe everything she tells you. You need to check her phone messages

Why would have a record?

And the girl ?
They are both culpable.

YANBU at all - I would have gone ballistic and phoned his parents to come and pick him up.

Thats a very sad sitution but not at all relevant to the Op.

Exactly!

No not at all. Far more likely to get through to her about things eg contraception, boundaries, behaviour if the relationship is good. I dont mean shopping buying lots of gifts I mean shared experiences and time together it’s valuable especially when parenting teenagers.