Should you ask another mums permission before giving their Dc sweets/cakes?

I think the parent was there?

If I’m present, supervising, I wouldn’t necessarily think to say my child has allergies, or I don’t want them eating a certain food. Might get a bit awkward if the other adult hands them a snack all right.

But I think most people would realise OP was just trying to be kind.

No.

If I’m looking after someone else’s child then I assume they trust me enough to allow me to make decisions, obviously if there are allergies or diet restrictions I’ll adhere to those but would expect to be told in advance. The same applies if someone’s looking after my child, I accept that they’ll eat what the other parent decides is suitable.

You really didn't need to either @Goinglocodowninacapulcoo

If parents are going to be that precious, then they need to not let their dc out of their sight.
They will obviously also have to deal with the way their own dc respond to being deprived of things other dc have, but that is their choice.

You've done nothing wrong at all.

The other parent, if she continues to treat people hosting her dc like that, will soon find her dc doesn't get invited to many places.

Yes, always check with the parents if any food or drink is offered.

You’ve decided it’s okay because it was after dinner, no allergies and in your eyes it was doing a nice thing. You’re still putting another parent in a position where they can’t really say no.

Have the parents of the child/children been funny with you about giving them a treat? If so then I would not be looking after them again. If they specifically did not want their child having certain things then they should have said beforehand. If nothing has been said then why are you even questioning it?

I think if the children are being left in your care, it's parents' responsibility to tell you anyhting thay can't have. If the parent was there I'd ask.

I wouldn’t check but I’d mention
it if it came up in conversation.

If a parent was sending their child off with me I’d expect them inform me of any allergies or diabetes or dietary needs if they existed. And any sensible
parent would be telling you. Especially if they have insulin or EpiPen etc!

This is one theory/method, not everyone subscribes to it.

Personally I think it's counterintuitive when our bodies, via the means of taste, smell and through blood sugar responses, do tell us when we like something a lot.

I think it works a lot better to learn to moderate by listening to your body's response - satiety, etc.

A whole almond???

Steady on now

🤣🤣🤣

I hate it when parents do this to be honest. For DD in particular if she has chocolate or cake she won’t eat her normal meals very well and DS is at the age where a lot of ‘treats’ are sneaking in. I think it’s really rude.

Really? okay, if that's true, then yes, that's crazy. Certainly, around here, if the parent is there they're always asked first. It can get irritating smetimes with the pre-warning about snacksa fter school for birthday, the requests at pick up, the follow up etc!

@MattCauthon I meant more like people in passing just handing her stuff, at school drop off, at the park etc. obviously at a play date yes the parent would know but it's quite common for people to just hand kids stuff without thinking as I get it most parents probably don't even need to consider allergies. I never until I had my second

I think it depends on a few things

I wouldn't think to ask for children of parents I know well / socialise with outside of kids or children of our friends. I think we know them well enough to know what is and isn't acceptable.

If I was looking after the children and no parents were around, I'd expect to be told before if they couldn't have anything

If the parents were there, I ask if it was ok first.

If a child has an allergy etc I would expect the parent to inform me . I have three children who are adults and have hosted 100s of children/ toddlers over the years .
It never crossed my mind to ask about food/ treats etc !
edited to say that my GC is coeliac so my daughter makes it very clear about dietary restrictions.

I once had a friend of my sister's bitch to me about how my sister allowed her children (who were pre teen/early teen at the time) to drink fizzy drinks on occasion. I found the whole conversation really bizarre and couldn't work out why she thought it appropriate to bitch to me about MY sister.

Anyway, I did laugh my head off a few months later when she brought her kids to my niece's birthday party and I wandered into the ktichen at one point to find her kid secretly downing a can of Fanta (there had been fizzy drinks out for the kids and parents). She looked up at me, clearly terrified I'd rat her out and I just smiled and kept moving. Her dd was, if I recall correctly, about 13 at the time. It' shard to believe she hadn't been drinking fizzy drinks behind her mother's back for years!

But surely when you drop her off at a playdate you make this clear? DD is dairy intolerant, I proactively mention to parents we don't know about this becuase I know that pizza is a common and favourite playdate food and she is not able to eat it. Having said that, I routinely ask when children are with me if they have dietary restrictions because of how often people DON'T seem to mention this.

OP, to answer your question, I see no reason why normal treats, within reason, can't be given.

Aged Under 5 - I’d definitely ask.
Aged 6-10 I’d ask only if you don’t know them well (ie are they diabetic / vegan / low-sugar household)
Age 10+ - I wouldn’t ask.

Assuming no allergies, I would ask whether the mum was a mumsnetter or not. If she is, I would offer a single almond as a treat, and apologise for spoiling their appetite.

i would still check
might've been vegan chocolate, for example.
my daughter has severe cows milk allergy