To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

Do you think it ok for the OP’s kids to be tired at school because of neighbour noise? Would you put up with this? Of course not. The carers of this child need to be sure that others are not having their health disrupted. Obsession- lol You seem to have an obsession of selfishness. People have to live with respect to others - have a think on that.

Then perhaps the child should be housed in a detached property so the wall banging does not impact neighbours.

I know how it works.
First you tell the neighbour
If nothing improves
You tell the landlord in writing
If nothing improves you make a formal complaint to Environmental Health at the council.

They will visit your property to assess the issue before they escalate it back to the landlord to sort out.

Or
Go straight to the council if it’s affecting your family and you just can’t stand to wait that long. As others have said it’s not like the parent next door doesn’t know it’s happening

Well, newsflash. It doesn't work like that!

How do you do that? You have clearly have no real life experience of looking after a disabled child. You only seem to have an obsession with the non-disabled not having to be affected by someone with SN. Dont know think the mum is at the end of her tether too? There is very little support for those with disabilities through social services etc. It's just not as easy as 'keeping him from hitting the wall'.

That’s not an excuse though.
Noise is noise.
If it’s disturbing others late at night it’s a nuisance.

That's you.
I personally would do anything it took to ensure my children were OK and getting the sleep they need.

Good luck wity keeping a severly disabled non verbal teen away frim the walls.

That’s up to the parent to work out. Not OP.

Use thought - keep him physically away from the wall. Do you think it ok for the op? Would you welcome this noise? I think not.

Bring it up with his parents but there isn’t much that can be done. As you are renting I’d really consider moving, if you weren’t then you could make some modifications.

Some of my family live in that style of house and you hear everything but not all autistic children can live in detached properties.

How do you keep him from hitting walls?

They wouldn’t be kicked out because of being disabled. The noise and vibrations are causing the problems whatever the reason it’s irrelevant when it comes to the legal right to enjoyment of your own property.
The landlord and parents needs to find a solution do they aren’t creating a nuisance for others.
Perhaps the landlord needs to improve the insulation. Or perhaps the parents need to find a more suitable property that’s not attached.

The onus is not on OP to sort this out but it is on OPto make the landlord and neighbour aware of the negative impact it is having on them.
If nothing is sorted then OP can of course escalate the matter to the council.

Keep him from hitting the walls. It’s not acceptable to enable this noise. Others have suggested soundproofing. It’s not ok for the op - her kids are tired at school due to neighbour noise. That’s not right.

Go to her with solutions rather than a problem.

there are bedrooms called “safe space” or padding you can fit on the walls.

Hopefully she has a SW from
the disabilities team and you can offer to speak to her about the impact on you too and both ask for an assessment (usually OT) for a safe bedroom for him.

it’ll be having an impact on them too and they’d probably be reassured by empathy and also support and advocate.

But approach with care so you don’t push them away rather than get them onside. Being a latent of a child with severe LD is already hard enough.

They have never complained but its a deprived area and there is s lot of antisocisl behsviour that is far worse than a disabled teen being disabled.

It doesn’t but I personally wouldn’t want to attempt to get a disabled child kicked out of their home for being disabled.

Do you have soundproofing in your house? That sounds awful for your neighbours.

Well no, that’s not the OP’s problem and this is why there is such little tolerance these days because of attitude like yours. The onus is on you, at the bare minimum to apologise to your neighbours and explain the situation. Work with them to find a solution. You can’t sit there with that attitude of tough luck to them and expect any understanding for your situation.
her kids sleep and home life is being affected, so no she doesn’t need to put your situation above hers.

Indeed my own non verbal teen doesnt bang on walls but he does scream loudly and frequently ,short of gagging i cant stop him.

That's not OPs problem though is it to be frank, it's not up to her to come up with solutions or fixes, it's up to them.

How do you suggest he can be stopped?

The son can be stopped from banging on the walls. It’s unacceptable to give you this noise. Report to the local council for noise.

I'm all ears with these wonderful genius ideas.

I'm not going to read this thread as I'm sure there are some horrible dicks on here as there always are with discussions around SEN children.

My son has ASD and severe LD and is noisy. Nobody has complained yet, which is lucky because there is very little I can do about his stimming because it is a neurological disorder.

What your neighbour could do is request sound proofing on walls by getting an OT assessment with the council (ours had a nine month wait to be seen and God knows how long for the work) so it might not be a quick solution, but may get the ball rolling. Some people get special needs beds where the kids are zipped into a play area with a bed in so that can be away from a wall. Not everyone's thing though. Not much she can probably do though other than that if the child has significant needs, like I said, it's a neurological/developmental disorder and you can't change the structure of someone's brain. I would ask her to approach the council about getting an assessment. The child's consultant, GP or social worker might be able to refer too, but there are things they can put in the home.