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To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

538 replies

RootsBeforeTheFruits · 16/04/2025 23:16

OK I've named changed....

I've recently moved house and have been at the new house about 9 months, for the first few months next door was empty and being renovated. Once it finished it was quickly rented out to my current neighbour's. She's a nice enough woman we have a gab in passing, she had a son with additional needs.

Here's the problem ....it's a terraced style house and he frequently bangs shit out of the walls, in the day I don't mind as much it's the day, but he bangs well into the night i don't mean the odd tapping it's actually shaking our walls. It frequently wakes my children up in the night and they've been extra tired in school.

Do I speak to her about it, i explain to the children that he has additional needs and more than likely can't help this behavior, I really don't know what to do

OP posts:
caringcarer · 17/04/2025 18:09

An end of terrace house is generally the same amount to rent as a mid terrace house. It might be better if he lived in an end of terrace house and his bedroom on side of house not attached to other terraced house.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 18:08

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 18:02

Being autistic ie disabled means that the LA have to consider the EA before evicting a family because of behaviour of a disabled child. Amongst other things, the EA means that reasonable adjustments must be made for the disability. That is what the law says. In the case of autism, this would likely mean that the child should not be in an unfamiliar, noisy, busy, transitory environment such as a B&B. That would all be sorted out long before the “baylifs” turn up, if the disabled child’s mother has any nouse.

I accept all children are different but councils cannot delay the eviction process. Ever. It is up to them whether they f8nd a suitable place but that will not stop or delay the process. The timing of which is set down in law to protect both parties.

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2025 18:07

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 17:49

Sigh. You would need:

  • a LA willing to accept that the involuntary noise made by a disabled child is capable of being a statutory nuisance (definitely not a foregone conclusion).
  • a fucktonne of evidence collected over a lengthy period to evidence the noise levels, and assuming that it supported a possible eviction;
  • a legal assessment of the LA’s responsibilities under the EA, including its obligation not to discriminate against disabled people, to act reasonably, make reasonable adjustments, etc (and I suspect they would try everything and anything else first, because they would be exposed from a legal perspective and are generally risk-averse).
  • if the legal assessment supported eviction as a “proportionate means” etc, the LA would need to go to court and convince a judge that their legal assessment was correct in order to get a court order - ime it would be a very unattractive argument to make, and might even fail at this stage.

There are quite correctly many checks and balances in place to protect the disabled and children, especially in circumstances where they are in difficulties as a direct result of that disability.

You can sigh all you like but the reality is that it is totally possible that the family with a disabled child making nuisance noise could be evicted following largely the same process that was used in the case I shared upthread. I never suggested it was an easy or quick process.

You think (based on no real legal evidence) that the fact that a child is involved will mean that an attempted eviction will fail. I see absolutely no reason why you are so confident about this. The balance of harm to the disabled child may be considered higher by the LA/Court but equally the child could be inflicting a higher level of harm of neighbours and importantly their children.

WellINeverrr · 17/04/2025 18:06

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:55

Lots of families with disabled kids can't afford to have lots of different pots of money for many families all the money goes in one pot ,so yes,the FLA might well go towards the food shop.

I don't for a second believe that every penny of the families UC, most likely highest rates of DLA, carers allowance, carers supplement etc is all taken up for basic needs including food and heating etc that there is nothing left for disability related expenses. Again, I'm sure disingenuous people will be along to argue otherwise and say I'm naive for not swallowing that nonsense.

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 18:04

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2025 18:02

The EA doesn't trump noise nuisance laws. There is absolutely no reason why a disabled child's involuntary noises wouldn't be considered a statutory nuisance. It satisfies all of the criteria and isn't in any of the councils list of exemptions that I have checked.

The woman in the case law shared on this thread made involuntary noises. This isn't enough to make a noise not a statutory nuisance.

As has been explained already, the eviction WAS discriminatory but it was deemed proportionate. It does not mean that a disabled, dependent child in a similar scenario would lead to the same conclusion. It’s not even binding on a later court.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 18:04

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 17:55

No, discrimination by a private landlord is still unlawful under the EA. The same rule applies, ie you can’t evict someone for anything related to their disability. As explained above, statutory noise laws may not assist in the context of a disabled child’s noise - it’s involuntary, and not necessarily anything that can be changed or mitigated. That would always involve the LA.

The landlord would not be discriminating against anyone.
Their reason for eviction would be because they are causing a nuisance. Which OP can clearly show.

Its irrelevant to the courts why this nuisance is happening. Yes it really is!
If the landlord follows correct procedure they can evict them.

Sheeparelooseagain · 17/04/2025 18:04

"It satisfies all of the criteria and isn't in any of the councils list of exemptions that I have checked."

Councils have specific duties towards disabled children.

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2025 18:02

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 17:55

No, discrimination by a private landlord is still unlawful under the EA. The same rule applies, ie you can’t evict someone for anything related to their disability. As explained above, statutory noise laws may not assist in the context of a disabled child’s noise - it’s involuntary, and not necessarily anything that can be changed or mitigated. That would always involve the LA.

The EA doesn't trump noise nuisance laws. There is absolutely no reason why a disabled child's involuntary noises wouldn't be considered a statutory nuisance. It satisfies all of the criteria and isn't in any of the councils list of exemptions that I have checked.

The woman in the case law shared on this thread made involuntary noises. This isn't enough to make a noise not a statutory nuisance.

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 18:02

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:55

But they do.
Councils have to house people in they are homeless.

The landlord is within his rights to evict.

If the neighbour leaves before the baylifs turn up then the council are not responsible to house them. Only if they are evicted by baylifs are they legally homeless and only then will the council help.

There are long waiting lists for nearly all of the UK so they will be housed in communal flats with a room and access to a kitchen, or a bnb. Whatever.

Priority may be given as the child is disabled but there are many others with similar and worse family makeups ahead in the queue. Being autistic does not mean you do not join that queue !

Being autistic ie disabled means that the LA have to consider the EA before evicting a family because of behaviour of a disabled child. Amongst other things, the EA means that reasonable adjustments must be made for the disability. That is what the law says. In the case of autism, this would likely mean that the child should not be in an unfamiliar, noisy, busy, transitory environment such as a B&B. That would all be sorted out long before the “baylifs” turn up, if the disabled child’s mother has any nouse.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 18:01

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:52

Who is it violent too?

You can be violent without it being aimed at a person.

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:59

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:52

Who is it violent too?

Violence need not be directed toward anyone or anyone. Weather can be violent. Emotions can be violent. Etc.

Aga, deflection by nitpicking over others’ posts doesn’t work. The fact is that the OP and her children , through no fault of their own, are experiencing health harm and vastly reduced quality of life due to the presence of the other family. The reverse is not the case.

Saying “he’s autistic, tough luck for you,” isn’t helpful.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:57

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:42

I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. There have to be solutions beyond “it can’t be helped so everyone can just suck it up and be sleep deprived.”

Agree @TheHerboriste no one has to suck it up!

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:55

WellINeverrr · 17/04/2025 17:53

DLA isn't for eating though, is it? That's what the UC side of things is for. Although I'm sure you'll come up with reason ie the neighbours son, because he has autism has sensory issues around food and so the neighbour has to offer an a vast array of foods each mealtime, eating up all the UC & DLA..

Lots of families with disabled kids can't afford to have lots of different pots of money for many families all the money goes in one pot ,so yes,the FLA might well go towards the food shop.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:55

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 16:15

Nobody is going to put an autistic child in a B&B. Jesus wept. Why not just flog them both in the street?

The best option is for the LA to step in and help the neighbour mitigate the noise. I and others have pointed out that the process of getting this help may be lengthy, frustrating and ultimately unsuccessful.

But they do.
Councils have to house people in they are homeless.

The landlord is within his rights to evict.

If the neighbour leaves before the baylifs turn up then the council are not responsible to house them. Only if they are evicted by baylifs are they legally homeless and only then will the council help.

There are long waiting lists for nearly all of the UK so they will be housed in communal flats with a room and access to a kitchen, or a bnb. Whatever.

Priority may be given as the child is disabled but there are many others with similar and worse family makeups ahead in the queue. Being autistic does not mean you do not join that queue !

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 17:55

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:45

Your advice is incorrect

The landlord can evict the family. It’s a private rental.
They have the right if they can show they are causing a nuisance and letters from OP will show that.

This isn’t a LA property.

Edited

No, discrimination by a private landlord is still unlawful under the EA. The same rule applies, ie you can’t evict someone for anything related to their disability. As explained above, statutory noise laws may not assist in the context of a disabled child’s noise - it’s involuntary, and not necessarily anything that can be changed or mitigated. That would always involve the LA.

WellINeverrr · 17/04/2025 17:53

YouFetidMoppet · 17/04/2025 15:42

Above eating. OK then.....

DLA isn't for eating though, is it? That's what the UC side of things is for. Although I'm sure you'll come up with reason ie the neighbours son, because he has autism has sensory issues around food and so the neighbour has to offer an a vast array of foods each mealtime, eating up all the UC & DLA..

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:52

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:51

The eyeroll is because it’s downright stupid to declare that banging which makes a party wall shake is NOT violent. Of course it is violent.

Who is it violent too?

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:51

SouthLondonMum22 · 17/04/2025 17:45

If your questions are sincere then what's with the eye roll when someone is trying to explain to you that a non verbal autistic child with limited to no understanding isn't trying to be violent or naughty or hurt anyone else but is sensory seeking when banging on the walls?

There are solutions. Unfortunately, they are expensive, time consuming and are regularly denied despite the need due to funding issues.

The eyeroll is because it’s downright stupid to declare that banging which makes a party wall shake is NOT violent. Of course it is violent.

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 17:49

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2025 17:30

It is totally possible for a disabled child making involuntary noise to be considered a statutory nuisance. The criteria are that:

it must cause significant interference to the normal occupation of a premises by a person of average sensitivity
it must be caused by some unreasonable or unusual act or omission or behaviour

Councils may well stipulate they won't investigate 'normal' noises from children playing or babies crying but someone headbutting the wall into the early hours of the morning clearly isn't usual or reasonable.

The autistic child may well not be put in a B&B but they may be evicted from their current accommodation and offered a suitable alternative. They don't have an automatic right to remain where they are just because they are autistic.

Sigh. You would need:

  • a LA willing to accept that the involuntary noise made by a disabled child is capable of being a statutory nuisance (definitely not a foregone conclusion).
  • a fucktonne of evidence collected over a lengthy period to evidence the noise levels, and assuming that it supported a possible eviction;
  • a legal assessment of the LA’s responsibilities under the EA, including its obligation not to discriminate against disabled people, to act reasonably, make reasonable adjustments, etc (and I suspect they would try everything and anything else first, because they would be exposed from a legal perspective and are generally risk-averse).
  • if the legal assessment supported eviction as a “proportionate means” etc, the LA would need to go to court and convince a judge that their legal assessment was correct in order to get a court order - ime it would be a very unattractive argument to make, and might even fail at this stage.

There are quite correctly many checks and balances in place to protect the disabled and children, especially in circumstances where they are in difficulties as a direct result of that disability.

Sheeparelooseagain · 17/04/2025 17:46

"I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. "

So why the face when things are being explained to you.

SouthLondonMum22 · 17/04/2025 17:45

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:42

I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. There have to be solutions beyond “it can’t be helped so everyone can just suck it up and be sleep deprived.”

If your questions are sincere then what's with the eye roll when someone is trying to explain to you that a non verbal autistic child with limited to no understanding isn't trying to be violent or naughty or hurt anyone else but is sensory seeking when banging on the walls?

There are solutions. Unfortunately, they are expensive, time consuming and are regularly denied despite the need due to funding issues.

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:45

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 15:44

There isn’t really a solution though, that’s the point. The disabled child can’t help it, I’d bet my house that his poor mother is only too aware of the problem and would have fixed it already if she could. His needs are not going to magically disappear whether the OP stamps her foot or asks nicely. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is a tiny chance that the OP’s predicament will help convince the LA to fund some adaptations, although don’t hold your breath for it happening any time soon even if there is funding (which there probably won’t be). This definitely won’t happen if OP antagonizes her neighbour. As I said, nobody is going to evict this family in a million years.

Huffing and puffing about the OP’s children’s rights to an education is all well and good, but it doesn’t move the dial on the actual problem.

Your advice is incorrect

The landlord can evict the family. It’s a private rental.
They have the right if they can show they are causing a nuisance and letters from OP will show that.

This isn’t a LA property.

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2025 17:44

SouthLondonMum22 · 17/04/2025 17:39

My point, which you agree with, is that it isn't reason enough to start sedating disabled children.

There was absolutely no need to be so dismissive of OP's predicament to make that point though.

TheHerboriste · 17/04/2025 17:42

x2boys · 17/04/2025 17:30

Well stop trying to be offensive about disabled children then
And nobody wants violent ,uncontrolled noise in their homes least of parents of disabled childen.

I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. There have to be solutions beyond “it can’t be helped so everyone can just suck it up and be sleep deprived.”

DrPrunesqualer · 17/04/2025 17:41

Vinvertebrate · 17/04/2025 15:32

I have every sympathy for the OP, but there’s not a chance in hell the LA would evict a disabled child’s family over a noise complaint. I have an autistic boy who went through a wall/floor banging phase, and the mats, helmets and pads we put in place to prevent him injuring himself just caused him to look elsewhere for the sensory stimulus he wanted. Luckily we are detached, but it would have been unbearable for the neighbours if not.

A little kindness goes a long way in these situations.

This has nothing to do with kindness. Your comment makes OP out to be the bad guys here. They are not.

For reference we had a disabled guy who disturbed the whole street when we lived in London.
He was moved on