To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

Smirking about annoying people is one reason sympathy vanishes.

Do speak to her, she may be unaware of how much you can hear

These posts are making me think I should set up a pro bono service advising autistic and other disabled tenants of their rights under the EA. That would annoy all the right people. 😊👍🏻

And I don't think anyone was asking for a debate anyway.

To be fair I think the feeling is mutual.

Amazed at those posters claiming 'nothing can be done'. There's plenty that can be done. Our neighbors had to deal with a near identical situation last year; an autistic child banging and scraping on the walls at all hours of the night and day.

The sound was absolutely horrendous - it sounded like someone was trying to break through the wall. It woke them, their children and set their dogs off, which disturbed their neighbors on the other side too. Parents refused to pay for any padding/insulation.

Repeated noise complaints to the council (which were upheld/actioned, whatever the correct term is) and neighbor's landlord. Landlord threatened to start eviction proceedings due to breach of tenancy, which prompted the family to move out to a more suitable property.

I completely sympathise with any parent having to deal with those circumstances - but that does not mean that it has to be inflicted on everyone around them.

Yes but nobody with any real experience is suggesting that. They are giving advice and just telling the people who only offer suggestions of "well that isn't fair on the OP" that you can't just stop a SEN child from doing certain behaviours sometimes. It is just frustrating as a parent actually dealing with the behaviour that someone thinks this is decent advice. It is just opinion and whataboutery based on no direct experience. Useless to the OP. Surely you wod have to be pretty thick not to recognise that?

Yeah. Sensory friendly food and clothing are more expensive + the cost of replacement clothes, massive amounts of laundry and items that break

I’m not - I work FT. So yes, it’s all I get.

Personally I think k it is reasonable to speak to your neighbour at a time when it is quiet so that you can have a calm conversation. If she doesn’t know the impact I would be surprised but it’s also important that you advocate for your children. I wonder whether getting a punchbag would be a good alternative so the child has something to focus on rather than the wall? Just a suggestion.

Get to know her and have a proper conversation about this. Be sympathetic to the very difficult time she must be having herself before saying how it affects you. You might say 'we all have a problem; what can we do about it?' One solution might be to rearrange the boy's room so that the walls he is most likely to hit are outside walls. Maybe there could be a thin mattress attached as well to absorb sound and so that the boy doesn't hurt himself - it can't be good for him either to be doing this.

Not all therapies are covered by the NHS, no. Especially not enough to make a big difference to the child. Sometimes 20 minutes once a week just isn't enough.

and again, carers allowance is taken straight off of a family if they also claim UC.

Anyway I think I'll bow out now, it'll just be a flurry of people jumping up and down to shout that they're spending £1,000,000 a month on adaptations and I don't have the time nor inclination to debate with disingenuous people.

Above and beyond the money you would spend on regular food and clothing anyway? Nope.

DLA won't be all you'll get if you're caring for him full time. It is also more than £300 a month if we're talking the highest rate of everything. And the £35k (if accurate) isn't a recurring expense.

”Specific foods and clothing aren't taking up the entirety of the DLA components, UC, carers allowance plus supplement etc.“
in my case they are.

Specific foods and clothing (which aren't disposable mind however granted may need to be replaced more often than my own clothing) etc aren't taking up the entirety of the DLA components, UC, carers allowance plus supplement etc. I'm aware of the costings of adaptive clothing, that's what we buy my brother for his birthday/Christmas. There are specific therapies that may not be covered however many of them are provided by the NHS. Unless our NHS up here in Scotland is some kind of utopia in what it provides and there are glaring disparities down south where nothing at all is provided

I spent £35k on medical evidence to support DS’ EHCP.

We get DLA of £300 a month.

carers allowance is taken by universal credit so disabled parents on UC don't get to keep it.

The disability related expenses are likely going on other things such as if he has a special diet, needs adaptive clothes for sensory reasons, adaptive shoes if his walking is impacted at all due to walking on toes etc, therapy to help his quality of life that is unavailable on the NHS and the such like.

It can be expensive. It depends on their disability and what adaptations, therapies etc they may or may not need. However as I say, I do not believe for a second that for the majority of families with disabled children, the entirely of UC + DLA (various components) + carers allowance + carers supplement etc is all spent on the basics of food and household bills. I have a brother with autism, non verbal, requires 24/7 care. I also have a close cousin with down syndrome who requires a lot of input. I'm not clueless about the financial practicalities of disabilities.

The law is there to protect everyone and if neighbours are not getting any sleep there is a very good reason to declare the property unsuitable.
As I said
If the landlord applies correctly they will be allowed to move the family out.

We’ve seen it done before where we lived and my cousins have just been through the exact same process ( although it wasn’t a noise issue ).

Have I ever denied that it wasn't considered discriminatory? I don't know why you're trying to explain this point to me. It was proportionate because there was more than just the EA and disabled person's rights to consider. Noise nuisance laws aren't trumped by the EA.

Of course, there is no guarantee that the same decision will be reached in another case with different parties and elements involved. It is the closest we have though to an indication of what can happen when there is a conflict between a disabled person's right to make nuisance noise and a neighbour's right to enjoy their homes without the nuisance noise.

You can believe what you want but having a severely disabled child is expensive.

I’ve been a solicitor in legal practice for 26 years, and I absolutely pinky promise you that the disabled person could challenge an eviction by a private landlord based on disability discrimination, and that the private landlord is absolutely required to comply with the EA. Even in noise nuisance cases.

You may not like it, and the end result might be that the disabled person still gets evicted in some cases, but the law is there to protect the disabled (some of whom make involuntary noises).