To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

The melatonin was for the neighbour not for the op to suggest. Many of the suggestions in the thread are for the neighbour. The op can install at her own cost soundproofing or make a noise complaint or move.

That’s also based on the assumption that melatonin works.

I know in our case it’s at best inconsistent, when it isn’t completely ineffective.

I completely agree that sleep is a basic human need and being awake is disruptive. I believe that because this weekend everyone in my house has been awake before midnight. Saturday we were lucky and my stepson resettled for another 4hrs and managed more sleep 3-7. By that point he’d been awake for 3hrs. Friday and Sunday - not so fortunate. I could try telling my stepson that he’s infringing on my need for sleep. But he would likely just ask for the playground or a lasagne.

Believe me, if there was a magic cure that prevented OPs neighbour’s son from keeping everyone up, they’d have found it by now. God knows we’re all crying out for it.

I agree, ideally everyone is entitled to a quiet night. But think the solutions suggested are unrealistic. Much easier options to the OP in my opinion would be speak to the neighbour, ask her landlord RE soundproofing and if that fails, move as the OP is renting. Approaching the neighbour and suggesting melatonin, sleep tablets, asking the neighbour to move house or pushing the council or landlord into a long noise complaint aren't likely to help the OP any time soon.

Why’s it unrealistic to agree that the op has the right to quiet at night? No problem on the mixing up.

Agree.

I couldn't believe that was butter !

( hope the gif doesn’t offend @ButterCrackers I’m in a gif mood today 😁)

Sorry, I must have mixed you up with the poster that said they trained their niece out of this behaviour. The rest of the post stands though, your posts are unrealistic and likely to cause conflict with her neighbours rather than a resolution for the OP.

The issue is that Buttercrackers has no idea. She thinks autistic DC should be forced by the parent to permanently mask, which we know can have huge detrimental effects on the DC or be drugged. She thinks if this isn't possible that the presumably single parent of the severely disabled DC, who likely cannot afford the bond to move let alone afford somewhere far away from people to move to. Or that it would be easy for the landlord to just chuck the mother out. She creates the illusion that any parent like this could do so much more, which if she were really closely involved with a disabled DC she would know is likely bollocks.

Yes. It’s very odd. On the iPad thread it’s all about thinking of others but here it’s all about put up and shut up for the op. Odd all round.

I’ve never mention a niece or sibling. You have me mixed up with someone else. I’ve never written about erasing or correcting either. That’s scary. Is this your take on the situation? Weird for sure.

@Toohottoclean

I think this is an unnecessary attack on @ButterCrackers

Wanting peace and sleep does not mean those that want it are not compassionate for others

I would have thought when your own children are affected it’s quite clearly the reverse

No, I do not. But I understand that sometimes it cannot be helped. I thought that you may have witnessed how hard parenting a disabled child is for your sibling, and had some compassion for others in the same situation. Rather than thinking your niece is a massive inconvenience that needs erasing or correcting.

What problem is that? Do you really believe that disability gives you the right to inflict suffering on others?

I totally agree with you. Special needs children are however protected by law. I appreciate & sympathise with OP. My landlord did nothing. We live in an end terraced townhouse. We did a loft conversion for my son with soundproofing & issue resolved. I'd still have preferred my neighbour to tell me her issue as I'd have addressed it immediately.

They've already moved recently and we don't know the reason for that. It might not be possible for them to move again so quickly for a number of reasons such as finances etc.

This is what makes the situation so tricky, there are no quick, simple solutions.

For @ButterCrackers

This wouldn't be considered discrimination though.
Its not the actual autism which would be considered the issue. That’s the difference. It’s the noise and vibrations so actually environmental health would consider that an issue ( after testing noise level as of course )
There are procedures.
We’ve been there.
The person in our case was moved on by the landlord, who happened to be a housing association. They were housing a tenant in private accommodation. The tenant had mental health issues. It took a while, but EH dealt with it.

The street could sleep again.

If the neighbours aren’t getting any sleep.
If it’s affecting kids ability to focus at school
If they are so tired they can’t function

Then

I would sort of hope they would accept their personal problems are having a wider negative affect on more than just themselves and sort it out. If it meant moving. I would. I couldn’t have that guilt on me…….that’s just me maybe.

Op please do take @Bumpitybumper advice and let us know how it goes .

Lie at the altar of others being unreasonable?? WTAF?? You mean being the parent of a disabled child? Bloody hell...

Me too. They really seem to be don't they! It's made me so livid that I've realised I have more unresolved issues than I realised.

No of COURSE it's not ideal to be living next door to such an awful "noise nuisance" but given the nature of it, you can learn to live with it, behave like a completely heartless bastard and do everything you can to get the family removed.. or move yourselves.

Some people not only do not have the smallest clue about how life is with a complex child/adult, they unashamedly don't give the smallest shit.

Disability is a protected characteristic. Are you really unaware of that? It can be done but the landlord would need to tread carefully as the complaint is a direct consequence of the DCs disability. Councils can get involved in this but usually will not, especially when the person is privately renting. As that would mean them accepting that there is a problem, and likely needing to step in and find a suitable place for the family to live. For someone that claims to know so much about raising a disabled child, due to happening to be related to one, you really seem to have a problem with disabled children.

Not nephew.

But yes, we’re fortunate to be semi-detached. He doesn’t play in the garden before 8, we just take the fight, he also sleeps on an outside wall because he is a horrendous sleeper and he can be loud during the night.

His mum however is terraced and has the same issue. She’d have to sell their family home and move him somewhere else. That’s a big ask for an autistic kid.

I sort of would hope that her neighbours (who have mentioned his noise) can accept that it’s something she tries to manage, but it is difficult and is noise caused by a kid who can’t control it/isn’t intentionally bothering anyone, and not make her uproot his already difficult life.

Presumably your stepson sleeps on an outside wall because not all bedroom walls are attached to a party wall.

An end of terrace would work here.
OPs neighbour is not in an end of terrace by the sound of it. They are terraced and most terraced houses have the bedrooms on the party wall. This is inappropriate accommodation

I agree that there are steps that can be taken. As I mention above, my stepson sleeps on an outside wall and we keep windows closed at night.

My issue is that beyond that, there may be no other options and knowing how difficult it is to move home with an autistic child, I don’t believe that’s a fair and proportionate option.

Of course I do.
It must be horrendous and never ending.

This however is a post about OP.
OP wants to know what she can do for her family.

If the neighbour posts wanting to know how she can cope no one will be on here talking about the neighbours. They’ll be sympathising with her.