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AIBU?

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AIBU yo not want this woman near my children

112 replies

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:25

*Excuse the typo in the title, sausage fingers 🙈
I realise I will probably get alot of “do whats best for the children” and “its not about you its about allowing your children to have opportunities” BUT how many of you would seriously consider not allowing someone access to your children for physically and verbally abusing their parents. Today my husband went against my wishes that his sister was not to take my children out anywhere on her own (I realise this may sound controlling but its really not) this came about after she physically abused my husband and verbally abused myself. She does not speak to me and will not acknowledge my existence. Today DC were with their grand parents as I had to work (my in laws) and she lives there as well. DH is there regularly and allowed her to take the children out despite my wishes that she was not to be left unsupervised with them. I am livid , I feel sick at the audacity of her after everything she has done and desperatley want to protect my children from her. AIBU to have these feelings (she said some god awful things to me, something along the lines of “fk off, your not needed or welcone here but give me your kids” I mean would anyone sane tolerate this??

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 16/04/2025 21:46

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:43

He did not tackle her on her return for a quiet life. DH works on site you see so he is also there watching the kids, not just in laws.

You want him to tackle the sister after tackling MIL… he’s onsite but the IL’s are providing childcare and the sister lives there but you want her to have nothing to do with the kids.

besides the amount of tackling that’s going on… I think this is all very weird

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:45

GooseClues · 16/04/2025 21:43

After that my MIL would also never see the kids again either (or maybe only every other weekend during my ex husband’s contract time if he hadn’t backed me up and I’d divorced him).
Unless there’s a massive backstory and you’ve murdered your SIL’s cat in a satanic ritual or something, her behaviour is unhinged. And as a rule I would not let unhinged people be around my children unsupervised.

There is no back story, she is just a very unpleasant woman with no self awareness and no boundaries. I trusted my husband to ensure that it was made clear that the children are to be safe.

OP posts:
Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:43

saltinesandcoffeecups · 16/04/2025 21:42

How is this your husband’s fault? It sounds like he was too late to stop her and it was your MIL who allowed it. Or is your husband easier to blame than the people providing free childcare?

He did not tackle her on her return for a quiet life. DH works on site you see so he is also there watching the kids, not just in laws.

OP posts:
GooseClues · 16/04/2025 21:43

After that my MIL would also never see the kids again either (or maybe only every other weekend during my ex husband’s contract time if he hadn’t backed me up and I’d divorced him).
Unless there’s a massive backstory and you’ve murdered your SIL’s cat in a satanic ritual or something, her behaviour is unhinged. And as a rule I would not let unhinged people be around my children unsupervised.

Gymmum82 · 16/04/2025 21:42

PIL just lost any chance of unsupervised access to the children. Id go so far as to remove all access from all of them

saltinesandcoffeecups · 16/04/2025 21:42

How is this your husband’s fault? It sounds like he was too late to stop her and it was your MIL who allowed it. Or is your husband easier to blame than the people providing free childcare?

carly2803 · 16/04/2025 21:38

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:36

Today he witnessed her bundeling them into her car from a distance, by the time he reached where they were she was driving off. Tackled his mother who said “oh yes shes taken them for a nice walk, she deserves some time with them” (MIL is fully aware of her treatment towards us but desperatley believes she should be a part of their lives and is currently painting me as the bad guy trying to “keep the children from her”) its not the case at all, I just want them safe, to be around decent people who dont shout scream and swear!

find alternative childcare and do not let PILs look after the kids?

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:38

RedHelenB · 16/04/2025 21:34

Your husband is also parent to the children. Unfortunately he feels differently to you, so there's not much you can do about it.

He says he doesnt feel different, but then again did not tackle her about it.

OP posts:
Inarutinarut · 16/04/2025 21:37

PIL shouldn’t be looking after the children.

Easterhols1 · 16/04/2025 21:36

thepariscrimefiles · 16/04/2025 21:32

If she lives with her parents and they look after you children, it is inevitable that she will have contact with them.

Can't you find anyone else to look after your children when you are at work?

Why does your husband let her look after the children unsupervised after she physically assaulted him? Is he scared to say no to her?

Today he witnessed her bundeling them into her car from a distance, by the time he reached where they were she was driving off. Tackled his mother who said “oh yes shes taken them for a nice walk, she deserves some time with them” (MIL is fully aware of her treatment towards us but desperatley believes she should be a part of their lives and is currently painting me as the bad guy trying to “keep the children from her”) its not the case at all, I just want them safe, to be around decent people who dont shout scream and swear!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 16/04/2025 21:34

Your husband is also parent to the children. Unfortunately he feels differently to you, so there's not much you can do about it.

thepariscrimefiles · 16/04/2025 21:32

If she lives with her parents and they look after you children, it is inevitable that she will have contact with them.

Can't you find anyone else to look after your children when you are at work?

Why does your husband let her look after the children unsupervised after she physically assaulted him? Is he scared to say no to her?

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