I told him our daughter was in hospital - no message from him

Where are you then? Just stay where you are and leave him.

And this showed how wonderful he would be as great role model to a child?

@Purplerose248 have you been in another country for a month??? who inherited the house, you or your husband/partner???

Leave him. He is a waste of oxygen.

I just saw a You Tube or Instagram short about addicts, saying that whether it is gaming, drink, drugs, gambling, they all suffer from arrested development.

They fail to mature beyond the point that the addiction took hold. So they are usually stuck in adolescence or early adulthood, because the addiction is basically a way of avoiding confronting challenges in their lives.

As a consequence, you very often find yourself living with a teen or young adult in a fully mature adult’s body, who is selfish, uncompromising, deflects blame when called out, who can’t see the consequences of their behaviour on others.

I think this describes your dh pretty accurately op.

If there is no chance of change on his part, initiated by him willingly, then I think you would be very much within your rights to ltb as you really don’t want your baby subjected to this kind of heartbreaking indifference.

Saying “ I made myself food” , he sounds like a child talking to his parent. Get rid!

He doesn’t sound like a father. Let alone a DP

Where are you now?
go home. make sure you are living in it.

Are you married?
and who owns the property?
The property is a family asset
Be cautious around him don’t tel him your plans. Don’t give him reason to feel a change is coming.
consult a solicitor
get copies of all documents / finances
if you don’t part own the home (ie not listed on registry as owner) then speak to a solicitor about whether you could / should register a charge against the property

get yourself in order and then do it.
separate.
unless he is ill of course then you might wait around to support recovery and find that man you fell in love with and had a child with.

good luck

What a worthless piece of shit. Ditch him the minute you get back. Kick him and his gaming stuff out.

When I was about that age, I was urgently admitted to hospital, sufficiently sick then when my parents were booted out for the night (thank god that doesn't happen the same now!) they were told to say goodbye to me, not goodnight, just in case. They rang my retired grandparents asking them to come look after my older sibling, so my parents could both spend all day with me. The grandparents delayed coming by 24 hours, for fairly trivial reasons. When my grandparents died nearly 40 years later, I still don't think my parents had entirely forgiven them, and certainly had never forgotten. Because in our family's most vulnerable scary moment, they weren't there. And this is the child's actual father. Who doesn't care enough to even message. You're not going to be able to forget this. And I'm not convinced that you should forgive it. He's an arsehole.

Wow op. What a charmer he is.

He has shown you very clearly through his actions who he is and what his priorities are. What a despicably selfish man.

Why get married or become a father in the first place if all he wants to do is game?

Op I beg you to take him at his word and give him space, permanently.

Do you work op? Do you earn enough to finance your own place?

Gaming? 🙄
Ditch the man child.

LTB. This is unforgivable, he can't even be bothered to pretend to give a shit.
TBH I would be side eyeing anyone I knew who stayed with a man who didn't work and just gamed for two years. Yuck.

He is 100% financially screwed which is absolutely as it should be. Providing no weird trusts, interests, or undertakings associated with the inheritance, then your family home could well be a shared asset regardless of it being him that inherited - you’re married, the law is different because of that.

Honestly dont say this very often but LTB. He doesnt deserve a family that loves him when he barely tolerates them. Your kid and you deserve so much more. LTB. Life is short. Too short for this. He has serious addiction issues - maybe not heroin but serious enough to fuck his life and yours up. Good luck. I bet you won't miss him at all. X

See a solicitor.

Honestly I don't understand this person.

He is so lucky. A mortgage free home, a lovely family and all he cares about is his stupid game? To the extent he won't even speak to his child on a video call when apart for a month?

As previous posters have pointed out, it's likely under English law that he'd have to buy you out of the marital home that you share. But you do need proper advice.

If you are married , it doesn't matter if he inherited the house , you still have a claim to it. Plus child support. Can you just stay where you are and start proceedings from there. He doesn't sound like much of a parent and is a shit partner to boot . Grown man obsessed by gaming , unless it's a career and earning tons , are just so unattractive and juvenile. You definitely could do better in a relationship and as he is no use anyway you and your DD would be just fine together.

If you have been using the inherited house as family home then it is a marital asset

Why did you leave for a month?

Presumably he is an ex now, right? Better no dad than a deadbeat.

Did he really want to be father in the first place? Was he happy and involved from the start?

Where are you living?

So he’s keeping the threat of making you homeless if you dare to leave him hanging over you? Nice guy!

he has said many times that if we separate I’m the one leaving as the house we live in is his inheritance

Cool story (from him) as its very very unlikely to be true you have no claim on the house which is what he is implying

So What does that ACTUALLY mean?

How long have you been married?
When did you buy the house?
Do you have any mortgage?
Who is named of the deeds?
Are his parents actually dead or did they "gift" it?

I'd be looking to divorce and separate and I wpuldnt give two shits about keeping the house but I'd want 50%+ of the equity

Also 🤮 at the idea any grown women is physically intimate with this tweeny man